Underestimated: Life in the Shinsengumi
by bonusmosh
Summary: Updated after a hiatus! READ CHAP 23! Follows the series Peacemaker Kurogane, with the addition of a girl of 15 being part of the Shinsengumi. Revolves around her life in the Shinsengumi and many other main events which take place. OC.
1. The Return

**Title: **Underestimated: Life in the Shinsengumi Pt 1

**Author:** Bonusmosh

**Disclaimer:** All characters in this PMK fic except Takara belongs to Nanae Chrono

**Notes:** Many of the scenes which take place in the story were taken from either the PMK anime or manga.

* * *

**Part 1:**

Takara sighed and leaned back in her seat.

She. Yamanami and Heisuke were seated in the black sedan that carried them back to the Shinsengumi headquarters. It had been almost 2 weeks since the demon vice-commander had sent them off on an errand and Takara was looking forward to going back to the place she considered her home.

Takara looked at the other two who were fast asleep their heads nodding along with the bumps of the sedan. Yamanami had his usual abacus sticking out from his kimono. His arms were crossed over his chest, and his expression was peaceful. Not that this was anything new. The more kind of the two vice-commanders was always seen to be smiling, in fact, everything about him was mild.

Takara then glanced at Heisuke who was seated next to her. The usually noisy 8th unit captain was now sleeping peacefully. For his case, this was quite a change. She couldn't tell if it was a good thing or not though, as the ride back was extremely boring, and the company of two sleeping men didn't help very much.

Waving her hands in front of Heisuke, she wanted to make sure that he was completely asleep. As she had guessed, he didn't even stir.

Slowly, she stretched out her hand, reaching into his kimono. She bit her lip as she tried to avoid feeling around too much. The cold of a metal blade between her fingers alerted her, and she quickly grabbed the pocket knife that Heisuke kept in his kimono, trying to pull it out as swiftly and quietly as possible.

'Can't keep your hands off me can you?' Heisuke's voice broke the silence, startling her slightly.

_That perv_.

He had grabbed Takara's wrist before she had a chance to pull away from him. Yawning, he smirked and freed the knife from her grasp, placing it back into his kimono where it rightfully belonged.

'Try harder Takara.'

Takara rolled her eyes and slunk back in her seat. Ever since Heisuke had shown her his knife, she had been fascinated with it. It was so small, yet lethal. Not to mention ever since then, she had been trying to steal it from him, and always to no avail.

'You know, you could make things easier if you'd just give it to me.' Takara pointed out, annoyed with the fact that this was the closest she had gotten so far.

'Nah. That'd take the fun out of it.'

'Idiot. I'll get it someday.'

Heisuke just grinned and stretched his arms. Obviously holding the younger girl's words in no threat.

'I can't wait to see Shinpattsan and Sano.' He continued, leaning back against his own arms and staring out at the sky. 'I wonder how they're doing without me.'

* * *

'Ahhh we're finally back!' Takara threw her arms up in delight as the three of them stepped out of the sedan. The familiar smell of well, sweat, seemed strangely pleasing to her. She turned round, savouring her surroundings, when all of a sudden,

'TAKARA!' A cheerful voice rang through the air, almost too cheerful.

'buk buk' Takara turned in time to see a ball of pink and a whiz of white flying towards her. The next thing she knew, she was held in a tight embrace by the feminine first unit captain. He practically lifted her off the ground, swinging her around.

'Okita-san.. It's great to see you again too..' Takara managed to say in a muffled voice, at the same time trying to get free from what almost seemed to be a deadlock.

'Of course! You don't know how dull it's been without you! And the incomplete comedian trio of course! And not to mention our beloved vice commander!' Okita continued happily, leaping from one person to another giving out a radiant overdose of energy as he fussed over them.

'Oh, and have you heard? Hijikata-san has gotten himself a new page! ' he continued, without waiting for any of them to say a thing. 'But I'll spare the details for later. Hijikata-san wishes to see the three of you now.'

Giving a wide, cheerful smile, he picked Saizo up in his arms and led them in.

* * *

'Yo! Sano, Shinpattsan!' Heisuke called out. 'You guys are comedic as usual.'

The second unit captain and the tenth unit captain turned their attention to the new person, and their faces lit up in delight as they saw who it was.

'Yo Heisuke!' Shinpachi called out, waving towards his friend.

Sanosuke, Shinpachi, and Heisuke, were famous for being known as the comedic trio in the Shinsengumi. Not only were they all captains of a respective unit, the three of them were the only ones around who dared to be loud enough to piss even the vice-commander off sometimes. Of course, without them, the Shinsengumi would seem to be nothing more than like a morgue. They were the core group who put the life into the place.

'What the hell's that?' Heisuke asked looking down at a red headed boy who lay face flat on the ground. He had never seen him, from what Heisuke made out that he was probably a kid, around before. 'Anyhow, I wanted to ask you. Hijikata-san's page, how cute is he?' He asked curiously, choosing to ignore the disturbing object that was on the ground.

'Modestly, is it like this?' Heisuke continued, before the other two could answer, 'Beautiful eyes, white skin, polite and naïve.. From his looks everyone would agree he's lovely.. like that?' The 8th unit captain drifted off, staring into space as he tried to picture the pretty young boy that Hijikata would've picked as a page.

There was an awkward moment of silence before both Shinpachi and Sanosuke broke out into fits of laughter, doubling over and almost collapsing on the floor in pain, leaving a very puzzled Heisuke staring at them in the midst of his thoughts.

'Heisuke! Sorry, but bite your nose and forget that idea now!' Shinpachi scoffed between peals of laughter, slapping his friend on the back.

Heisuke stared at his shorter friend and frowned, thinking for a moment. 'I know! HE'S GOOD IN BED!' He proclaimed loudly all of a sudden, his index finger up in the air, eyes shining in realisation.

Both Sanosuke and Shinpachi stopped laughing, and scrunched up their faces as such a scenario floated into their minds.

'You're free to shout it out loud, but if Hijikata-san hears this, he'll turn you into sliced meat.' Shinpachi pointed out, narrowing his eyes. 'Anyhow, the correct answer,' he held the boy Heisuke had seen lying on the ground previously, out. 'is this.'

'…' Heisuke was bewildered, his jaw wide open. So much for his prediction.

'Heisuke?'

'..Ka.. Ka.. KAWAII! He's extremely cute! He's just like a puppy!'

'… …' Both Sanosuke and Shinpachi were even more stunned.

'Of course Shinpattsan is small and cute too.' Heisuke added, grinning at his friend while patting the new page on the head. He then turned to the other two, furrowing his brows. 'Well anyway, was Hijikata-san's taste always like this?'

'Seriously, get away from that idea...' Seeing the look on page's face, Shinpachi immediately apologized. 'Oh sorry Tetsu-kun, this guy doesn't have bad intentions or anything. It's just that his words are subconsciously dirty.'

'Huh! No, that depends on how broad-minded the listener is.' Heisuke argued, trying to uphold his own dignity.

'… How rude.'

'Anyway, where's Takara and Yamanami-san?' Sano asked, looking around, breaking them from their previous topic.

Patting Tetsunosuke on the head once more, Heisuke replied, 'Oh, Yamanami-san is somewhere around, probably avoiding the demon vice-commander. And as for Takara, the demon sent her off to Shimabara to pick something up. Wonder why he wouldn't let me go though.'

'I'm not surprised.' Shinpachi muttered, shaking his head disapprovingly at his friend.

'I heard that Shinpattsan.'


	2. Captain?

Takara stepped out of Hijikata-san's room and closed the door gently behind her.

After returning to the Shinsengumi headquarters, she had been sent to Shimabara to collect a package for the Vice-Commanderm almost immediately. By now Takara was exhausted having had to run from place to place on errands for Hijikata, considering she had just returned from a long trip.

Just then, she heard a familiar voice calling her name.

That was probably the millionth time that day someone had called her. She shut her eyes tight and crossed her fingers, hoping that it wasn't another errand she had to run. What she felt like now, was a page. Running on errands, doing this and doing that. Sheesh.

Turning around slowly, her shoulders relaxed and she broke into a grin when she saw that it was just the comedic trio. This time, they had an unrecognizable redhead with them.

'Hey Shinpachi! Sano!' Takara replied, waving back at them.

Takara was slightly shorter than Shinpachi though she often claimed that she had grown taller than him. This made her the shortest member of the Shinsengumi and she was awfully glad when she saw that the red-headed kid was shorter than her by a few centimetres.

'Hey kid, you must be Hijikata's page right?' Takara asked ,looking down at the redhead who seemed to be sulking. She guessed that he wasn't enjoying the company of the comedic trio.

Tetsu glared at Takara, trying to straighten himself up to full stature. 'I'm NOT a kid. I'm fifteen!'

'Eh?' Takara looked at Tetsu with a surprised look and laughed nervously. This was a surprise. She had expected him to be say, twelve?

'Well, guess what? I'm fifteen too…..'

Tetsu's face turned blank and his head drooped, a vein forming on his forehead. To think that she was taller than him despite being the same age. Refusing to lose out to her just because she was taller than he was, he quickly retorted, 'What's a girl like you doing in the Shinsengumi anyway? Are you working as a kitchen helper for Ayu-nee?'

The comedian trio stood at a side, sweat drops forming on their foreheads as they waved their hands to try to signal for the new page to zip it.

'Tetsu.. Actually Takara's…'

'Or are you visiting from Shimabara? Or a page as well?' Tetsu continued, completely ignoring the three men.

Takara laughed again and scratched her head.

'Ehh actually, I'm the fourth unit captain.'

'WHAT?' The page's reaction was huge, considering that it came from such a small person.

'We tried to tell you, puppy-kun' The trio mumbled, looking at Tetsu's shocked expression.

'She's a girl, the same age as I am, and the fourth unit captain? While here I am stuck as a page serving that demented vice commander! I don't believe this!' Tetsu sobbed, as the crocodile tears ran down his face.

'It can't be that bad right?' Takara said, trying to comfort the devastated boy. 'I'm sure if you practice hard enough you'll become a captain too. Besides.. If it makes you feel any better, I'm turning sixteen soon anyway.'

'That's right puppy-kun, you might even be as good as us!' Shinpachi stated, rubbing his nose. 'Highly improbable though.'

'What?!? You wouldn't know how it feels like to be restraint as a page to a demon! A demon you hear me!' Tetsunosuke leapt up, tugging at Shinpachi's kimono. 'He'll make my life a living hell! I'll be forever pouring and serving tea to a man like him...' Tetsunosuke shuddered slightly at the thought of this.

The second unit captain tried to pry the page clutched to his kimono, free. 'Oh come now, puppy-kun. There's still free time like now for you to relax and have fu-'

Shinpachi's voice was cut off by another.

'TETSU-KUN! Would you bring some tea to Hijikata-san?"

-

* * *

Susumu stared at his reflection in the gleaming blade of the knife.

He had failed the warrior's code. Turn tail and run like a coward from those kunoichi. It was a complete disgrace. There was no way he would be able to face the vice-commander anymore.

Taking in a deep breath, he raised the knife without flinching. The only fate left for him was to commit seppuku afterall.

'Don't fool yourself.'

Susumu heard the familiar voice of his elder sister, in a stern tone.

The doors slid open and Ayumu stepped in, taking the knife from Susumu's grasp. Without looking at him, she slid off the top of his kimono and took a look at his wound without another word.

'It's a back wound.' She continued, taking a bottle of medicine from her kimono and began to dress his wound.

'I don't need any medical treatment.' Susumu replied coldly. 'According to the warrior's code, mistakes…'

'Who cares about the warrior's code? Do you plan to let Hijikata-san down? ' Her harsh voice cut him off, as if reprimanding him accusingly. "Hijikata-san is putting his trust in you. To think you were going to throw your work aside and commit seppuku? There's even a limit to shamefulness. If you're going to die, do hundreds and hundreds of jobs. Then once you are an adult, you can die.'

Susumu lowered his head as his sister spoke, feeling more and more shameful. Her words stung more than the medicine on his wound.

'You are different from a Samurai. Don't be mistaken.' she continued, her tone softening considerably, and her hand was placed on his shoulder.

'You're a shinobi.'

* * *

Tetsunosuke sat opposite the fourth unit captain, gobbling his food quickly and staring intently at the teenage girl.

'I still don't believe it! How can you possibly be the captain of the fourth troop?' Tetsunosuke exclaimed in exasperation, wondering how a _female_ had even managed to get into the Shinsengumi while he had such a hard time. Needless to say, how she had became a captain while he was restricted to the duties of a lowly page.

'Believe me, it's not easy.' Takara answered, waving her chopsticks at him. 'For example, it took a while to win respect from the squad.'

'But how did you even get chosen in the first place!'

Takara tapped her fingers on the table and looked up thoughtfully. There were certain things that she couldn't tell him of course, so she had to be careful with what she said.

'Well, Hijikata-san _was _reluctant to let me in at first. But since I had joined the queue like everyone else when the Shinsengumi were recruiting people, it was only fair that I was given a go at sparring with the rest to test our skills. Emerging as one of the top few despite being a well, kid, I was offered the position of one of the squad captains by Kondo-san, which I was happy to accept. It wasn't like I had anywhere else to go. Both my parents were long dead and joining the Shinsengumi meant food and shelter. But of course this was strongly disapproved by Hijikata-san.'

'But you're standing here today as one of the captains.'

'Well Hijikata-san made me agree to certain terms of course. Firstly, I was to be treated like the rest of the men at the Shinsengumi. Which was probably one of the reasons that spurred me to be a captain. After all, every captain gets their own room instead of being stuck with the rest of the men in that sleeping hall. Secondly, like every captain, if I wasn't up to the job, I'd eventually have to commit seppuku. Thirdly, respect from my squad members had to be earned on my own.'

'_A kid? This is outrageous! There's no way I'd let myself be led by some fourteen year old kid.' One man growled, raising himself to full stature._

_Takara merely raised her head and stared at the man, stating simply, 'Apparently I've qualified as your captain, and that means you'd have to obey my orders I believe.'_

'_Why you little runt…' He drew his sword and charged at the teenager who almost a good two heads shorter than him._

_In a split second, Takara's sword was unsheathed, it's end pointed to the man's throat. He trembled as he dropped his own sword to the floor and dared not to make a move._

'_Unless you think you can beat me and do a better job, I believe that it is only right you give me the respect I deserve.' Takara sheathed her sword and looked up at him with dark eyes. 'Is that understood?'_

_He looked away embarrassed as the rest of the other men around him stood shocked and bowed their head in respect._

_Through gritted teeth, the man bowed his head in respect and answered, 'Yes Captain.'_

* * *

'It wasn't easy of course. And people do tend to underestimate a fifteen year old' Takara said.

'Tell me about it.' Tetsu grumbled.

'Especially if you're a _girl_.'


	3. Kunoichi

Susumu kept his head bent low as he handed his report to the Vice-commander. Usually it was out of respect that he would bow, but this time it was perhaps more for the shame of failure.

Hijikata took the pipe out of his mouth and breathed out a mouthful of smoke. His expression remained the same. 'How many of them were there? The kunoichi.'

'Three sir. Of which one is known as the wind demon.' The shinobi answered, wondering what the vice-commander would really be feeling. Angry with him perhaps?

'Three on one. Disgraceful.' Came the monotonous reply.

'I will accept any punishment you give sir, for failing the mission you have entrusted to me.' Susumu added, feeling more than worthy to be punished.

'There will be no need for that Yamazaki.' Hijikata answered, giving a wave of the hand. He took a long puff from his pipe, while furrowing his brows thoughtfully.

'Don't worry. Next time, things are going to be different.'

-

'Hah! You think you can win with a pathetic push like that?' Shinpachi scoffed, blocking Takara's attack. He pointed his bokken at her, targeting her right shoulder and ran towards Takara swiftly.

Takara dodged his attack and made another swing, this time aiming for Shinpachi's neck. To her surprise, he countered with a second block and his bokken swung towards her waist. Immediately, she flipped backwards and pushed herself upright again with her left hand.

Panting in exhaustion, Takara felt her sweat dripping profusely down her face and her training outfit was almost soaking wet with sweat. Shinpachi too looked just as worn out, even though he'd never admit it.

'I have to give it to you though. You're pretty agile, Takara.' Then he added before lunging at her, 'Of course that isn't enough to win.'

Takara braced herself to counter the blow and struck his bokken out of its designated path, her own wooden sword slammed against his left arm.

'That's gonna cause a nasty bruise!' She laughed triumphantly.

WHAP.

The next thing she knew, Shinpachi's bokken had come down on her right shoulder. Hard. Takara winced, dropping her bokken and falling from the impact of the blow.

'Who's getting the nastier bruise now?' Shinpachi mused, stretching out his hand to pull Takara up.

'Ow ow. That hurts Shinpachi.' Takara groaned, hoisting herself up.

'Sorry. Nothing serious though.' He apologised, before adding with a smug look, 'Well, looks like over confidence does leads to a downfall.'

'As usual, you never fail to entertain with a feisty performance eh?' Heisuke grinned, walking towards the both of them with Sano next to him. He wrapped an arm over Takara but pulled away almost instantly. 'Sweaty.' He commented.

Takara rolled her eyes, still embarrassed how the second unit captain had trashed her. 'I guess I need loads more practice.'

'Now now, don't be so hard on yourself. After all it's not that easy to defeat me.' Shinpachi patted her on the shoulder, in an effort to make her feel better.

'… And you were talking about over confidence?'

'Come on! Let's get going for lunch already. I can smell Ayu's cooking from here and watching the both of you spar has made me hungry.' Sanosuke bellowed excitedly, sniffing the air. Grabbing Shinpachi tightly by his bruised arm, he pulled the short redhead towards the kitchen, oblivious to Shinpachi yelping in pain while trying to break free of the giant's grip.

'OW! SANO! OW! LET GO!'

* * *

'You wanted to see me Hijikata-san?' Takara asked, poking her head into the vice-commander's room.

'I need you to do something for me Takara.'

'Another errand I bet. Shouldn't you be asking Tetsunosuke Sir? After all he IS your page.' Takara complained, sitting down in front of the vice-commander.

'You mother. She was a kunoichi wasn't she?' Hijikata asked her, completely ignoring whatever she said.

There was an awkward silence and Takara immediately averted her gaze, shifting uncomfortably in her place.

_You don't understand. Your death is my ultimate goal. I cannot love a target. That is the way of the kunoichi._

She couldn't say no. After all, Hijikata already knew that she had been trained as a kunoichi before, and that was the main reason why he allowed her into the Shinsengumi.

With her eyes still downcast, Takara finally replied in a voice barely above a whisper. 'What is it that you need me to do sir?'

'The Choshuu clan has apparently been using kunoichi, up to three or four of them. No matter how skilled or experienced he may be, Yamazaki can't handle all of them at once. As for Ayumu, if all else fails, she will be sent to spy on the Choshuu by working as a hairdresser. So we will not send her out for fear of her being recognised. As for you, I know your mother was a kunoichi so with the skills you've learnt from her, you'll be able to help Yamazaki. You will follow Yamazaki every night until we think it unnecessary.' He paused for a few moments. 'Understood?'

It wasn't like Takara had a choice. This was an order. And order's had to be obeyed.

'Yes sir.'

'Very well. You may go.'

Takara bowed before she got up and left.

She loved to run freely on the rooftops in the dead of the night, to jump and land silently from one place to another. But she hated them. The kunoichi. Because that was what her mother was.

And Takara never wanted to be anything like her.

-

* * *

'_7 Years? Have you really been undercover all this time? Working for them?' He hissed in anger his hand on the hilt of his katana._

_She stayed silent, staring intently at the men gathered in the room. Then she turned to him, and saw his eyes flaming with fury. It had taken her many years to fulfill her mission. Her own clan would arrive soon. The people seated in this room were her enemies, she thought, all of them. Even him. And tonight, they would all die._

'_Okaa-chan? What's going on?' a young girl cried in desperation._

'_Get behind me Takara,' he said protectively, pulling the young girl behind him, 'that woman is your mother no more.'_

'_Otou-chan!' Takara cried out again, hiding behind her father._

'_Not even your own daughter? You wouldn't give a damn about your own daughter?' He asked her, the one who had been his wife for the past 7 years, yet now seemed a complete stranger._

'_You don't understand. Your death is my ultimate goal. I cannot love a target. That is the way of the kunoichi. I only strive to destroy your clan.' She finally said, looking away from her daughter. _

_At that moment, the doors burst open and another group of men stormed in, their swords drawn. Those originally in the room immediately unsheathed their katanas as well, charging at their attackers. Takara's father pushed her aside to a corner as he himself drew his katana to attack. _

_Takara watched as they killed one another, their bodies fell lifelessly to the ground. One man was injured and he staggered away, to where Takara was crouched, before he was sliced in half and fell, dead. His blood splattered all over Takara, staining her kimono. His arm fell outstretched next to her, his katana still in his hand. Takara sat still, her expression blank. She picked up the dead man's katana and held it close to her in defence._

_Takara saw her mother, now no more the sweet and loving woman she had been. She held a neko-te, slashing and killing those who opposed her. Without blinking, Takara watched. Watched the blade of her father's katana pierce through her mother's stomach. Watched him draw his katana from her mother's body, his eyes filled with pain. _

_She saw another man approach her father from behind, his katana raised. _

_Takara had screamed out for her father, but her voice was drowned out by the battle cries all around._

_She had watched her own parents die before her very eyes, and suddenly, there was an emptiness in her that she couldn't comprehend. She shook as she gripped the katana tightly and stood up. That man who had killed her father, he was now injured from a battle, and he crawled on the ground, blood gushing out from his wound._

_Takara walked up to him, the katana still in her hand. _

_The man looked up at the girl who stood before him, and felt the blood drain from his face. He pleaded out to her, and Takara saw the immense fear in his eyes, his fear of death._

_She watched his pitiful pleas for mercy, but her face remained expressionless._

_Then, she drove the blade of the katana into his neck. And he never moved again._


	4. Race around Mibu village

Takara awoke to the sun shining in her face. Stirring from her sleep, she immediately bolted upright in realisation and scrambled to get ready. Sunlight was not a good thing. It only meant that she had overslept and Hijikata-san would probably find some way to punish her.

Still struggling with the sash of her kimono, Takara stumbled rather ungracefully out of her room, only to face the rest of the members of the Shinsengumi clad in their training outfits casually choosing padded spears. There wasn't the usual sense of urgency and discipline around that morning. Instead, the atmosphere was casual and relaxed, and she sensed that something was rather amiss.

Takara stood stunned and frowned. 'I'm sorry. Did I miss something? What's going on?'

'Takara!' She heard Kondo-san's voice boom. 'You came at just the right time! The first event is just starting.' He walked to towards her, waving a piece of paper between his fingers.

'….Event Sir?'

'That's right! Toshi's out on an errand today so I thought the Shinsengumi should take a break today. So we're having a friendly events competition. And you're just in time for the spear fighting event! So go grab a spear and get ready!' The head commander said excitedly, probably the most enthusiastic among all the soldiers. Takara wondered what Hijikata-san would do when he found out.

The vice commander would never agree to such things. But what he didn't know wouldn't kill anyway.

Takara shook her head and grabbed one of the padded spears. She hardly fought with spears, as it was hard enough for her to lift it up, considering her short stature. Although she was still slightly groggy, she took her stance, and turned to face her first opponent.

-

'Hah! Take that!' Sanosuke gave his opponent a finishing blow and twirled his spear triumphantly. Around him lay a few other men groaning after getting trashed by Sanosuke.

'And the winner of our first event, Harada Sanosuke!' Kondo-san announced, which was met with moans from the soldiers all around

Everyone had already expected the outcome of the competition anyway. If they had a choice, they wouldn't even had entered in the first place. Both Shinpachi and Heisuke had surrendered before Sanosuke could deal them a finishing blow. As for Takara, she had been knocked out in one of the first few rounds by another one of the squad members. It was rather embarrassing really, for a captain to be knocked out by a soldier. Of course she gave the excuse on the pretext of her having just woken up.

Just then Tetsunosuke walked by, picking up all the spears discarded on the ground and carrying them to the training hall. He said nothing, and carried out his page duties without a single complaint. It was arguable that this was a good thing, but the change from the lively page to the now dead one, was way to extreme for many of them to take. Stranger still, since the demon vice-commander was no where to be seen, Tetsunosuke would normally have taken the opportunity to shirk his duties.

'What's up with puppy boy?' Sanosuke asked, concerned about how the usually noisy boy was extremely quiet instead. He had looked forward to having fun sparring with the feisty page. However, this time the puppy had shown no interest in partaking in such events, despite the fact that the commander had made it clear it was open to anyone, and everyone in the Shinsengumi.

'Who knows.' Shinpachi shrugged, looking at the page sulking off. Sighing, he turned to the scroll in his hand, and squinted as he read the following events. 'They've got a long distance race at the next event. Around Mibu Village.'

'That'll be fun.' Takara commented, still feeling quite sore from getting beaten so easily in the spear competition. 'At least I'll have a fair chance in that event.'

Shinpachi looked at Takara and rubbed his chin thoughtfully. 'Are you sure? With your short legs…OW!'

Shinpachi immediately regretted what he said.

* * *

'Have you heard? Winner of the race gets to eat Ayu's special Okoa!' Heisuke said, closing his eyes and picturing himself indulging in Ayu-nee's custom dish. 'This is one race that I'm going to win.'

Everyone was lined up for the race, raring to go. They were doing last minute stretches, gearing themselves up for a long sprint. However, Shinpachi merely stretched his arms and said casually, 'I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm not going to strain myself in this race. After all, it's just a friendly competition isn't it? No point in taking it seriously.'

Heisuke and Sanosuke looked at each other uneasily, unsure of what they should do. True, they wanted to be the one to get Ayu's cooking, but after all, it was just a friendly race, there was no point in straining themselves.

'I agree with Shinpachi.' Yamanami said, smiling. He held his abacus in his hand as usual, and Takara wondered if he brought it for luck. 'This is nothing more than a friendly race. Don't you?' he said, looking directly at her.

'If you say so Yamanami-san.' Takara answered, trying to suppress a grin. Of course, she had other plans. If all of them were going to take it easy, there was no way she was going to pass up a chance like that. Once she started off with a rapid sprint, she could get an easy lead. By then none of the others would be able to catch up with her.

'Alright then, the first person to reach the finish line wins the race, and Ayu's Okoa!' Kondo shouted to the soldiers lining up. A few of them, after hearing Yamanami and Shinpachi's comments, began to have doubts if they should strain themselves.

'Ready?' A few of them had relaxed considerably by then, deciding to take the race casually.

'GO!'

There was a large cloud of dust as they set off, blurring the vision of many. When the dust had settled however, three figures stood out in the lead. Takara had immediately sprinted for her life at the starting signal, and found herself in the lead. However, to her surprise, she was tied down with Shinpachi and Yamanami. Apparently those two had the same ideas as well.

'Don't let Nagakura-san get away!'

'Why you little cheat Takara! Come back here!'

'Catch up with Yamanami-san!'

'The three of them are too far ahead! There's no way we can catch up!'

The voices of the other men from behind rang through the air, between their huffs and puffs as they tried to catch up with the the sneaks in front.

'So much for taking it easy huh?' Takara said shortly between breaths.

'Look who's talking!' Shinpachi snorted back.

Yamanami merely gave an innocent smile, and pushed the glasses up the bridge of his nose. He had already gotten a clear lead from the rest of the soldiers, and hence was not taking it as hard as both Takara and Shinpachi. Instead, the two short captains were almost killing themselves trying to outrun each other.

Just then, the three of them heard footsteps nearing them, and turned around to see Sanosuke and Heisuke close behind, catching up. The 8th and 10th unit captains sprinted as fast as they could, their expressions annoyed from being fooled by three of the sneaks. They overtook Yamanami, and closed in on Takara and Shinpachi.

'Uh-oh.' Takara muttered, pushing herself to run faster as well.

'You cheats! We're not going to let you win!' Sanosuke yelled, he and Heisuke falling in line with Takara and Shinpachi. The four of them kept going, each refusing to slow down. There was a lot of cursing and swearing as they all tried to overtake each other.

Just as she thought her lungs were going to explode, Takara saw the finish line ahead of her and an invisile source of energy made her sprint all the way to the finishing line. Of course, this was along with Shinpachi, Heisuke and Sanosuke, who each were driving hard to win as well. It was an awfully tense moment, each of the four had their minds bent on winning the race.

20 meters away from the finishing line, Sanosuke, with the longest legs out of all four, pulled himself forward and took the lead.

15 meters away from the finishing line, Heisuke, motivated by the thought of Ayu's mouth-watering Okoa, dashed ahead, overtaking his taller friend.

10 meters away from the finishing line, Takara, determined not to lose, willed her legs to push her as fast as possible. She lunged for the finishing line, overtaking Sanosuke and Heisuke in the process.

5 meters away from the finishing line, Shinpachi broke out with sudden speed, getting a clear lead from the other three, who were already panting and running out of energy. He gave them a grin as he overtook each one of them, confident of winning the race.

Just as he thought nothing could stop him, a blur passed him, and he heard the sound of abacus against concrete.

'What the!' Shinpachi stared bewildered at the blur, which made out to be Yamanami-san himself. All four of them stopped dead in their tracks with their jaws hanging wide open. Yamanami was gliding on his abacus! The vice-commander gave them a friendly wave, and glided towards the finishing line. He passed the line, and stopped next to Kondo-san, removing the abacus from his feet.

'AND THE WINNER… YAMANAMI-SAN!' Kondo announced, holding up the vice-commander's hand.

'…..' The captains were speechless, staring hopelessly from Yamanami-san, to his abacus, then to the tub of Ayu-nee's Okoa rice. Only Shinpachi broke into a rage, furious at how close he had come to winning.

'THAT...THAT CHEAT! COMMIT SEPPUKU DAMMIT! THAT'S NOT FAIR! I DON'T CARE WHO YOU ARE!"

Takara, Heisuke and Sanosuke tried desperately to hold a very, very angry Shinpachi down, while watching Yamanami enjoy an entire tub of Ayu-nee's speicial Okoa rice.

All by himself.

-

The night was still, the moon overcast by dark clouds. Two figures ran silently and swiftly, leaping from the top of one roof to another.

Slowly, three more figures slinked out of the shadows, approaching the younger two.

'I see you haven't learnt your lesson have you spy-boy?' Her voice cut through the silence like a knife. The blond ninja turned to the unfamiliar figure that stood beside the young boy, taking note of her appearances. The new spy wore a hood which covered her hair, while the bottom part of her face was entirely covered with a sash, revealing nothing but a pair of deep brown eyes. Despite that, given her short stature, the blond ninja estimated her to be a kunoichi of no more than 17.

'And this time, you've brought a friend as well.' The blond laughed icily ,'Does the Shinsengumi really think that sending a couple of inexperienced kids will be enough to take on full fledged spies?'

The blond ninja and another one of her companions lunged at the young man, while the other ninja went for his companion.

Susumu leapt quickly out of the way, the enemies' ten-point stars missing him by a hairline. He drew his sword just in time to block their attack. Susumu grimaced. He knew that fighting with two full-grown kunoichi's was no easy task. However he was determined not to allow a repeat of the last time.

On another rooftop, Susumu's companion dodged attack after attack from the third ninja. Although her attacker was much stronger and skilled, she was agile enough to avoid any injuries.

Susumu saw one of the ninja's launch a kick at him and he responded quickly by grabbing her ankle. Then using the momentum of her weight, he sent her crashing down into a few boxes lying outside the houses. He was prepared to go for the second ninja but she leapt down to her injured ally instead. Signaling to her third companion, the three of them ran off, almost disappearing into thin air. Susumu then heard noises coming from inside the house and he motioned to his companion for them to leave as well.

The two of them then disappeared into the night.

-

Takara pulled her hood and her sash off, letting her brown hair fall freely down.

'No spying tonight I guess.' She commented.

'We attracted too much attention. We would've been able to listen in on the Choshuu if those kunoichi hadn't spotted us.' In response, Takara got nothing more than a cold answer from Susumu.

'Oh right. So now it's my fault is it? Well I happen to think that I did a good job.' She got the vibe that somehow he was accusing her for screwing up.

'You slipped.' Came the monotonous reply.

'Only one time!'

'More than that.

'Fine! I haven't been running about on rooftops for a long time so I'm not exactly used to it.' Takara replied exasperated. She hated to argue with him. Firstly, his calm and cool composure pissed the hell out of her. And secondly, he was so void of all emotions that she couldn't help but feel she were talking to a wall.

Susumu looked at her with another icy glare. 'I'm only accepting your assistance because Hijikata-san has said so. Even though I've insisted that I don't need any help.'

By now Takara was furious by his comments. She picked up her night wear and walked out of the room. Before she slid the door shut, she turned back to Susumu. 'Well, then, I believe I will prove you wrong Yamazaki-kun. Goodnight.'


	5. Kill, or be killed

'He what?' Takara burst out into peals of laughter, after hearing about what the page did.

'No kidding. I can't believe puppy-kun actually dared to ask the demon vice-commander for a katana. Must be a death wish or something.' Shinpachi said, shaking his head and chuckling as well.

'I don't blame Hijikata-san for refusing. Looking at what happened to Souji, I'd say the vice-commander's trying to avoid making the same mistake.' Heisuke commented, drying his face with his towel.

'He's right though. Once puppy-kun is allowed to be a soldier of the Shinsengumi, he's got no choice but to kill.'

There was an awkward silence which followed Shinpachi's comment. All of them knew clearly that killing never stopped at one person. Soon the hesitation would pass and the urge to kill would come easily. He would learn to be an oni.

'But still, there can't be any harm in giving Tetsunosuke a katana. I mean, look at him. He's been moping around for ages.' Takara said, breaking the silence. 'Having a katana is one thing, but of course the skill, well that's another. Besides, look at him! I can't imagine him having the nerve to kill anyone.'

'Well,' Heisuke started, his eyes lighting up. 'I think I've got just the idea!'

-

'That's right puppy boy! It's for you!' Heisuke grinned, handing Tetsunosuke one of his katanas. Tetsunosuke immediately took it, overjoyed that he had finally gotten a katana. He grabbed the katana and tried to pull it out. Heaving and tugging, he was unable to do as the katana was much too long for him. Takara, Shinpachi and Sanosuke were standing around him, trying their best to stifle their laughter.

Giving one last grunt, Tetsunosuke tried once more to pull the katana out.

SNAP.

The katana broke into half, leaving the page dumbfounded. Looking closer at the katana, he noticed that it was actually a bamboo sword. The four captains were rolling on the ground laughing at him, tears rolling down their cheeks as they clutched their stomachs.

'… So… is that your idea of a joke……?' Tetsunosuke looked at them, red in the face, his breath short and heavy, a vein threatening to pop on his forehead.

The four of them immediately shut up and slowly stood up. Suddenly that chibi seemed very, very intimidating indeed. 'Now now Tetsu, it was just harmless joke.. you're overreacting really..' Before Shinpachi could complete his sentence, Tetsunosuke lunged at them with the bamboo katana in his hand, chasing them around the Shinsengumi headquarters.

The four captains ran as quickly as they could, away from the raging puppy. No matter what they said, the page refused to listen, only satisfied probably once he got his hands on them.

Just then, someone poked his head out of the room to see what the commotion was, only to get hit by half a bamboo katana that was flung by Tetsunosuke. It stuck with deadly aim, catching its victim right in the middle of his forehead.

Everyone stopped dead in their tracks when they saw what happened, the colour drained from their faces. Suddenly Tetsunosuke didn't seem very scary anymore.

'Kondo-san!' Takara gasped, when she saw that the commander had gotten hit by the bamboo katana. 'Are you alright?' She pictured them all being sentenced to seppuku. This was the commander himself after all.

'I.. I'm so sorry Sir!' Tetsunosuke stammered, afraid of what might happen. Or worst still, if Hijikata-san found out.

Kondo massaged his head and instead of bursting out in anger, he laughed. 'It's alright Tetsunosuke-kun. Let's see, you can make it up by getting me some candy from the festival that's taking place.'

Not only did Tetsunosuke stand bewildered, but Takara and the comedic trio could hardly believe their ears as well. That was his form of punishment? What happened to manual labour?

'Well?' Kondo looked at Tetsunosuke. 'Off you go then!' he said waving Tetsunosuke off.

Tetsunosuke nodded and ran off to the festival to get the candy, still slightly stunned from the light sentence he received. Of course he knew better than to question the commander, and who was to argue at such a punishment?

'What was that all about Kondo-san?' Sanosuke asked surprised, scratching his head as he watched the disappearing figure of the page down the road.

'Poor Tetsunosuke. Always stuck in here doing chores. He needs a break, to catch a breath of fresh air don't you think?' Kondo replied, looking at the figure of the page boy running into the distance. 'Besides, if Toshi found out I got hit by a bamboo sword, he'd never let me live it down.'

The four of them stared at each other, sweatdrops forming at the back of their heads. Of course, no one ever expected their brave and fearless commander to have been taken down by a bamboo sword, no less flung by a page.

'Ahhh I guess so.'

-

'I don't want it.' Tetsunosuke answered, handing the wakizashi back to Shinpachi. That evening, when Tetsunosuke had returned from the festival, Shinpachi had given the page one of his old short swords to cheer him up. However, to their shock, he had refused.

'You're not still angry about this morning's incident are you?' Takara asked him, wondering if he hadn't forgiven them yet. Why else would he refuse a real wakizashi?

'It's slightly rusted, but it's still in good condition you know.' Shinpachi argued, emphasizing how he kept his things in good condition.

Tetsunosuke shook his head. 'Of course not. It's just that. I guess today I learnt what it means to hold a katana. I don't need it just to prove I'm strong. I don't even think I'll ever be able to kill anyone. So I think I'll just wait.'

Earlier that day, the page had gotten himself caught up in a tangle. At the festival, he had met his two friends, Saya and Hana, (Sanosuke and Shinpachi had made it a point to annoy the page about his 'girlfriends') and the three kids had gotten into quite a tangle. Bumping into a few drunken ronin, they were in for a big mess, when thankfully Shinpachi and Sano had showed up to save the day. Better still, both the captains had taken the ronin out without drawing their swords at all.

Shinpachi, was the most taken aback by the sense of maturity coming from the page. He opened and closed his mouth, but no words came out. For once, the 2nd unit captain found himself speechless without any witty cracks.

Sanosuke, stunned by how his short friend had nothing to say, held his head in slight panic as he fussed over the flabbergasted Shinpachi.

'Well done Tetsu. You've made a good choice.' Heisuke said, patting him on the head, who obviously thought the page had made the right decision. Tetsunosuke replied with a smile.

And for that moment, a part of Takara wished she could be like Tetsu. Free from being tainted by the scent of blood and death.

-

That night, Takara crouched hidden in the shadows while Susumu was perched on the window sill of Masuya, listening in on their conversations. Just then, the board at the window slid open, leading Susumu staring straight into the eyes of Yoshida. Susumu froze for a moment but immediately regained his composure and leapt swiftly to the roof.

Then four figures stood around them, the moonlight casting their shadows on the rooftops. Immediately, Takara and Susumu were met with a handful of shuriken flying towards them. Both of them evaded it easily and drew their kunai, throwing it in return. The four kunoichi split, two of them attacking Susumu, while this time the blond kunoichi and another one went for Takara. The blond had drawn her katana and ran for Takara. Takara drew her own katana in return, blocking her attack. As Takara was better trained at swords, she launched one attack after another, easily pushing the blond back.

Just as Takara leapt into the air, about to deal a heavy blow, she felt a cold metal chain twirl around her ankle and pull her crashing down on the roof. The other kunoichi held a tama attached to a long chain in her hand. Takara stood up immediately, as the blond's katana stabbed right into where she had been lying.

'Damn it.' Takara muttered to herself, leaping again as the tama came flying towards her, its blade slicing into the wooden planks on the roof. She could hardly keep up with the fast pace of the battle as the blows came continuously one after another. The blond's katana came into contact with hers again and Takara looked up, staring into a pair of blue eyes that were staring back at her. That kunoichi, with her unique eyes and blond hair, Takara was positive she was a foreigner.

At that moment, they heard a loud crash and both kunoichi's immediately jerked up their head. Susumu had managed to knock one of his attackers out and sent her crashing to the ground. The blond one signaled to the one holding the tama and sprinted off in the other direction. The tama came flying towards Takara catching her off guard, but she managed to deflect it with her katana. However, she was too slow as the chain that the tama was attached to snapped itself around her wrist causing her to lose her grip on her katana.

The next thing Takara knew, she was hurtled to the ground and sent crashing into a pile of boxes lying in an alley. The kunoichi leapt down from the roof, landing silently in front of her. Takara jumped into the air and grabbed the last of her kunai, flinging it at the kunoichi as the tama cut into the boxes, slicing the cardboard into shreds. However the kunai missed their target and she was left weaponless. This time, there was another rattling of chains and Takara's eyes widened in shock, as the impact pinned her against the wall. The tama was pierced through her right shoulder, and she fell on her knees gasping for air. Her blood dripped slowly, down the blade and handle of the tama, to the floor and her entire shoulder had gone numb. The kunoichi let go the end of the chain she was holding and walked towards Takara, drawing a katana and pointing the tip of the blade at the 15-year-old's neck. Takara refused to flinch, looking the older kunoichi back in the eye.

'You're brave for a young one.' The kunoichi finally spoke, the blade of her katana still at Takara's throat. 'But you'll learn that courage can't always save you.'

Takara looked up at her and scoffed. Takara had her hand on the handle of the tama, which was still pierced through her shoulder. 'And you'll learn never to leave your weapons lying around.' Takara pulled the tama out of her wound, and flung it swiftly at the kunoichi who was caught off guard. The tama hit the kunoichi, causing her to drop her katana.

Ignoring the searing pain in her shoulder and the light-headedness that she was feeling due to the loss of blood, Takara swung her fist at the kunoichi and landed a punch on her, making her stagger back. Without stopping, Takara threw a kick as well, causing the kunoichi to get flung back and hit her head hard, leaving her semi-conscious.

Takara picked up the tama that lay on the floor, her shoulder bleeding profusely and staining her entire top. She walked towards the kunoichi lying on the ground and lifted the kunoichi's head up, with the tama in her hand pressed against the kunoichi's neck.

That night, Takara's outfit was stained completely with blood. Stained with blood that wasn't only hers.

-

The kunoichi's had retreated when they found out their companion was dead. Susumu had looked at Takara in shock and then fury. She was so soaked in blood that he could hardly tell if she was fatally injured until he noticed her clutching her shoulder and wincing in pain. Instead of saying anything else, he had just asked the bleeding girl if she was alright and she had weakly insisted she was fine, struggling to keep herself walking.

However Susumu knew that she wasn't when he caught her just in time as she fell unconscious to the ground.


	6. Worth

Takara awoke, jerking up in a start, only to experience a sharp pain in her shoulder. She immediately lay back onto a soft pillow breathing heavily.

'You really should take more care Takara.' A gentle voice told her, and wet towel was placed over her forehead.Takara looked up to see a lady leaning over her, with her fringe pinned up at the sides of her face.

'Ayu-nee..' Takara muttered, 'What happened?'

The older woman sighed as she helped Takara up to a sitting position. 'You nearly got yourself killed, that's what happened. Susumu brought you back unconcious last night, and i have to say, that was one of the nastiest wounds i've ever seen. Considering the amount of blood you lost, if you hadn't been treated in time, I highly doubt you would have made it.'

'You make it sound like it was my fault i nearly lost my life.'

'You should know better than to act so recklessly. There's nothing wrong with retreating when you're outnumbered.' Ayu-nee said sternly ,'Or you could have at least got help from Susumu.'

Takara rolled her eyes in response. 'Like THAT guy would ever help me. I'm sure he would've been happier if I died anyway. After all I'm just an obstacle in..' She stopped in mid sentence and covered her mouth. 'I'm sorry Ayu-nee! I know he's your younger brother .. and I didn't mean it.'

Ayu-nee's expression softened and she nodded in understanding. 'It's alright. He's not really like that, although he appears so cold and unfriendly, sometimes, it's just that he... Nevermind. Anyway I almost forgot. When you're feeling better, the vice-commander would like to see you, with your report ready.'

'He's going to have my ass for this isn't he?'

Ayu-nee laughed. 'I don't think so. He seemed pretty calm when he heard you were okay. The others besides Okita-san, Susumu, and all three commanders, have been told that you were wounded in a surprise attack launched by a few Choshu members when you set out at night on a quick patrol with Hijikata and Okita. No one is actually supposed to know that you're working as a spy, so apart from these few, keep it to yourself alright?'

'Sure. Not like I've done anything to be proud of anyway.'

---------

'Yamazaki has given me his report on the previous nights' incident. I expect the same from you Takara.' Hijikata said, blowing out a trail of smoke.

Takara drew her report from her kimono, her head still bowed, and handed it to the vice-commander. He took the report it and studied it, his expression unchanged. After he was done, he folded the report again and placed it beside him.

'You need not accompany Yamazaki anymore.' He stated simply, taking another puff from his pipe.

Takara looked up and frowned. 'Why not?'

'He has requested it so, for reasons of his own.'

'There's no way he can deal with them himself! He's just being selfish and unreaso..'

'That's an order. Your assistance is no longer needed.'

Takara felt her temper rising. Susumu had probably told the vice-commander lies about her screwing up the job. What other reasons would he give to get her removed?

'But sir!' She protested.

'You may leave.' Hijikata told her in a stern voice, not even throwing her a glance.

'Yes sir.' Takara bowed her head and answered through gritted teeth before taking her leave.

Her fists were clenched until her knuckles turned white, her mind racing as she quickened her pace to Susumu's room. She felt her own cheeks burning in embarressment and anger. Had he told the vice-commander that she had failed as a kunoichi? Did they really see her as nothing more than a useless obstacle, someone who would never be fit to be a part of the Shinsengumi? Takara only felt anger building up inside of her, furious with Susumu.

She reached his room and slid the cardboard door open so hard, she was liable to rip the entire door out.

'What did you tell him? What did you tell the vice-commander!' Takara said, her voice raised and her tone sharp.

The young man sat calmly in his navy blue kimono without even acknowledging her presence.

'Just because you see me as a fifteen-year-old kid you think I'm unworthy? Don't forget Susumu. You're hardly even a year older.'

Susumu immediately got up and walked towards her, towering over her by almost a head. 'Age isn't a concern.' He replied coldly.

This time, Takara felt herself flare up and she lunged at the shinobi opposite her. She yanked him by his kimono and her right fist was still clenched tight. 'Then what the hell is your fucking problem?' She was practically yelling at him while he merely remained still, his icy glare fixed on her.

He grabbed Takara's wrist and slowly twisted it, forcing her to let go of his kimono. Instead, she stared back into his dark eyes without even wincing, and yanked her hand out of his grasp.

'The problem doesn't lie with me Takara.' Susumu finally hissed, 'It lies with you.'

Her eyes widened in shock before she relented. ' What the hell do you mean...'

'You know what I mean. You have a problem Takara.'

'What are you..'

'You don't understand how to appreciate life do you? To you, it's nothing.'

'Appreciate life? We're taught to kill in the Shinsengumi, not to hestitate..'

Susumu cut her off again. 'I'm not talking about killing. I'm talking about getting yourself killed. You don't value your life at all. Last night against the kunoichi. You darn well know that it's impossible for you to match up for the two of them yet you pushed on recklessly, refusing to call for help, or to retreat. Do you really want to die that easily? What do you take life as, really? You think that by looking death in the eye, it'd mean that you're brave enough to take on anything?'

'Wh.. I..' At that moment, Takara found herself at a loss for words. She was angry at how he had made it seem that she brought this upon herself, that it was her fault that she nearly got herself killed. 'Since when do YOU care? You don't take life for anything either as a shinobi. You're the last person who should be telling me to appreciate life.' She shot back at him in fury.

Susumu raised an eyebrow. 'Appreciate life?' He scoffed. 'I don't give a damn who dies or who lives. But if you die, your death will only pose an obstacle in my mission, and all because of your insolence and carelessness.'

She gaped, flabbergasted with nothing to say. _T..That bastard._

Takara looked up at the shinobi. His usual cold and expressionless face was now glaring angrily at her. As if he was the one who should be angry. In her rage, she swung her right fist towards him, throwing him a punch that would have caught him square in the jaw. However, her fist was instead enveloped into Susumu's palm, his expression unchanged. Immediately, she threw him a hard slap instead with her left hand, which landed on his right cheek. Susumu released her fist in surprise, taken aback by her quick reflexes. Takara immediately avoided his stare and looked away, embarressed with her childish behaviour.

'So it's best that you're removed. Then you won't get yourself killed.' He said after a long silence, before stepping out of the room as if nothing had happened.

'At least not in front of me.' He added, before closing the doors shut.

-------------------

'He said I didn't know how to appreciate life.' Takara said, taking out her anger on the wooden spoon that she was using to stir the rice.

'I see...' Ayu-nee replied, chopping vegetables beside her.

'Hmph. As if he knows how to appreciate his own life.'

The two women were in the kitchen preparing dinner for the Shinsengumi. Takara chose to keep herself reserved in the kitchen to try and cool down, at the same time lending the cook a hand.

'Ayu-nee...'

'Yes?'

'Do you think so too? About me not appreciating life that is.'

Ayu-nee continued chopping her vegetables without answering. Taking a deep breath, she put her knife down and turned to the young unit captain.

'I've seen the way you kill, Takara. All the lives you've taken with your hands and your sword alone. After every raid, you come back soaked in blood of the people you've killed. Yet, you never hestitate to draw your sword just to get rid of anyone in your path, no guilt, no remorse. Why Takara?'

Takara felt the same churning feeling in her stomach that she had felt before, when Susumu had asked her almost the same thing. 'I've given up my humanity Ayu-nee. To become and Oni, like the rest of the Shinsengumi. Isn't that what I'm supposed to do?'

'To kill?'

'Death comes naturally to everyone. I merely see myself as bringing it to them more quickly.'

'And that gives you authority to take the lives of others, or worse still, throw away your own?'

'What worth is life?' Takara shot back, uncomfortable with their discussion. 'They deserved to die.'

The older woman turned her attention back to the vegetables she was cutting, and placed them into the pot of boiling water.

'Is this what you really think? Do you want to live your life this way?'

'Yes. I believe so.'

Ayu-nee shook her head and sighed. 'Very well Takara. Maybe one day, when someone close to you dies, you'll realise what the loss of life means.'

The two of them stayed silent for the rest of the time, and Takara never forgot what Ayu-nee had told her, keeping it close to her heart amidst all her confusion.

---------------------------

Three lone figures stood atop a roof, two standing on each side looking down at the one sitting in the center.

'We've decided to leave. To start over with a new life instead of risking our necks.' The one standing on the left said, the end of her scarf blowing in the wind.

'Cowards.' The middle one hissed, looking at the other two through her deep blue eyes, with her blond fringe covering a part of her face. 'Have you no loyalty?'

'The Choshuu are hungry for blood. It won't be long before they launch a full-out attack. Haven't you seen what happened to Mai? We refuse to put our own lives on the line for a trifle matter as such.' The third one answered, her arms crossed across her chest.

'And what about the Shinsengumi and what they've done to our families? What about your revenge?' The blond said again, her tone getting colder.

The first kunoichi waved her hand and chuckled. 'We can choose to live like dogs, hounding our past and let it haunt us. Or we can choose to move on and start a better life, letting go off the desperation that clings on to us.'

At this point, the two standing at the sides gave the blond kunoichi a last glance, and leapt off into the night.

The blond remained seated on the rooftop and lowered her head down. 'Then I'll achieve this alone.' She muttered, the sides of her mouth curving to form a smirk.

Then, she threw her head back and laughed, a laughter which rang through the stillness of the night.


	7. Grocery Tragedy

The afternoon sun was high in the sky, its warm rays casting dark shadows on the ground. The Shinsengumi training hall reeked of the smell of sweat and men were clad in their training outfits with the sounds of their bokkens clashing against one another.

'You're never going to get me at the pace you're going you oaf!' Shinpachi scoffed at Sano, who was red in the face and swinging his bokken angrily at the shorter man. However it was to no avail, as the short redhead dodged each attack swiftly and simply.

'Stay where you are you cheater!' Sano huffed, swinging his bokken more and more ferociously each time.

Heisuke stood aside, watching the two of them in amusement when he saw the fourth unit captain approaching the training hall. Takara was dressed in a white kimono instead of her training clothes, and her hair was kept up in a loose ponytail. Heisuke called out to her and she responded with a wide smile when she spotted them. As he looked at her walk towards them, his mind couldn't help but start wandering.It was hard to imagine that Takara was a good four years younger than he was, yet she was like any member of the Shinsengumi, cold and merciless when it came to killing.

_And we were the ones who killed the child in her. _Heisuke shook his head sadly. Takara would actually be rather pretty if she bothered to dress up.

'Hey there!' He greeted her cheerfully, 'Any sparring for you today?'

Takara shook her head in reply. 'No can do. The shoulder's still screwed from that darned attack by the ku.. choshu.' She said quickly, trying to cover up her slip.

'Oh.. that bad eh?' Heisuke muttered and made a face. 'I guess I'll have to entertain myself by watching those two goofballs,' he pointed to Shinpachi and Sano, 'spar the whole day.'

'Hey! Who're you calling goofball!' Shinpachi snapped. 'Oh! Hey Takara! Havent seen you for quite a while.' He said, his expression immediately brightening, as he leapt out of the way of Sano's attacks while talking.

'Yea..' Takara replied with a small wave.

'I can't believe you're not even concentrating!' Sano shouted in fury, and let out a load roar, frustrated with Shinpachi.

Shinpachi merely replied with a snort. 'Are you kidding? I don't even need to. How's the shoulder coming along anyway?'

'Not good enough to train. Well, I think I'll make my move first. See you guys later or something.' Takara added, deciding to leave them to continue with their sparring.Her own hands were getting itchy to pick up a bokken and start sparring but Ayu-nee had warned her not to aggravate her injury. It sucked to be injured.

As she walked out, she heard Sano fling his bokken on the floor and yell something like a 'I'm going to get you!' before Shinpachi's worried voice came to sound.

'Sano? Uhh Sano.. Relax.. I was just joking around! Come on Sano, put the spear down.. YAAAGH!'

-

Tetsunosuke scuttled out of the kitchen with a bag of coins in his right hand. As he tried to recall what instructions Ayu-nee had given him, a voice from behind him broke his thoughts.

'Tetsu!' Takara strolled breezily towards him.

'Niigata-san!' The page replied in return, amazingly finding his manners. However he still found it difficult to look up to her as a squad captain.

Takara made a face. How did he learn her surname anyway? Hardly anyone called her by her surname anymore. 'No need for the formalities. Just stick to Takara. I'm hardly any older than you anyway. Taller, but not much older'

'Very funny.. Takara.'

'Where are you off to anyway?'

'I'm off on another errand. Getting ingredients for Ayu-nee to cook dinner.' Tetsunosuke replied somewhat sadly, tired of running back and forth with his page duties.

'Oh oh! That's great! I'll come with you. Since I've got nothing better to do anyway. Besides, you look like you could use some help.' Takara replied cheerfully, seeing it as an opportunity to take a break from her dull day.

Tetsunosuke looked up at the young captain as if she was mad. Who would willingly want to run an errand on such a hot scorching day? But having company would definately be better than going alone. Before he could answer, Takara had already hopped off to her room, emerging later with her katana in its hilt, swinging loosely on her waist. Whilst she seemed happy to get out of the Shinsengumi headquarters, Tetsunosuke himself would rather stay back to watch the men train in the hall instead of running around like a dog.

He shook his head as he walked out with the strangely happy captain. That girl was nuts. Completely nuts.

-

'Vegetables, beancurd, fish... Hmm did we forget anything?' Takara walked along, studying the piece of paper Ayu-nee had handed the Tetsunosuke intently. The shorter boy walked alongside her, carrying a large brown paper bag full of groceries in his arms.

'We need eggs too.' Takara concluded, looking up from the paper. 'I think I'll carry that for you.' she said, motioning to the paper bag.

'It's alright.' Tetsunosuke answered quickly, moving the paperbag out of her reach.

'You can hardly see where you're going.' She tried to snatch for the bag.

'What! Anyway I bet you won't even be able to lift it up with that injured shoulder of yours!.' He dodged.

'Says who! Stop fooling around and hand it over!.' In one swift motion, she nabbed the paper bag clean out of his grasp.

'Fine. Take it.' He grumbled.

'Oh stop whining. You're acting awfully childish.'

'I am not! You're the one who started it anyway.'

'Me? Since when?'

'When you started snatching for a paper bag from me. Who's the immatu-'

Tetsunosuke's sentence was rudely cut off by a third voice.

'Well well, what do we have here?' A tall burly man walked up to the two youngsters, followed by another two behind him.

Takara studied the men who had interrupted them. All three of them had straggly hair and their clothes were quite worn out. At their waist, each carried a katana and had coarse hands. Their accent suggested nothing of the locals either.

_Inexperienced wandering ronin. _She mused to herself. They were nothing more than bullies, picking on the locals, but turning tail and run like cowards whenever they ran into anyone stronger than them, namely the Shinsengumi.

'Kids like you shouldn't be wandering about alone. And what do you know? Carrying a katana too.' The ronin continued, then drawing the katana from Takara's waist.

Her reflexes immediately told her to attack or defend, but she restraint herself, holding on calmly to the paper bag and looking back up at the ronin. Tetsunosuke on the other hand, was red in the face in fury and was yelling at the ronin to return the katana.

'Quiet, brat.' He studied the blade of her katana carefully and sneered. 'Where'd a punk like you get such a good katana?'

'That belongs to my father. My brother and I are on our way back from the shop to return it to him.' She lied.

_Stay calm. Don't draw attention to yourself. That's what Hijikata-san would have said._

'Brother? We're members of the..OW.' Takara stomped hard on Tetsunosuke's foot before he could complete his sentence.

'Anyway' she continued, 'I would appreciate it if you returned the katana so my brother and I can be on our way.'

The three ronin laughed in return and the tallest one snorted, 'I don't think so. In fact we'll be keeping this for ourselves. Run along now little girl, and we won't give you and your brat brother any trou-' At this instance, the page had reacted by kicking the man hard from under the chin. The man dropped the katana in surprise and grabbed his chin in pain.Tetsunosuke then bent to pick up the katana quickly. 'Bastards.' Tetsunosuke muttered.

'Now you've done it.' Takara sighed exasperated.'There's only one thing to do.'

'RUN' She yelled, grabbing Tetsunosuke by his shirt with one arm and the other holding tightly to the groceries.

'WHY YOU... COME BACK HERE!' The ronin shouted, drawing their own katanas and charging after them.

The both of them ran as fast as their legs could carry them, but were unable to shake the furious ronin's off. Takara could see that the page was wearing down as he began panting heavily.

'Tetsu,' Takara said between breaths, 'Take the groceries and get back to the headquarters. I'll shake them off and head back later.'

Tetsu thrust the katana to Takara, who handed him the grocery bag in return. 'Are you sure?'

'Don't worry. I'll outrun them for sure.' She assured him. He nodded before making a sharp turn into on the the alleys. The ronin continued after Takara pushing and shoving the people who were in their way.

At the next bend, she turned into one of the alleys with them on her tail. Instead of finding another lane, she found herself cornered at a dead end. Turning around, she faced the three of the approaching men. She let out a sigh and raised both her hands in surrendur. 'Alright, I'm sorry. Let's not have any trouble here.'

'It's too late for that girl.' One of them spat angrily, sweat dripping from his brow.

'Oh well.' Takara shrugged and smiled.

'We've got you now kid. You and your brother made a big mistake.' The tallest one of them snarled, his katana raised as he walked towards her.

'No.' She slowly reached for the katana which was now back resting on its hilt. Avoiding the use of her right arm in case she aggravated her injury, she decided to use her left arm instead. As she watched the oncoming man with amused eyes, her position shifted to defence mode, but altered from her usual position to suit her left side.

'You did.'

The ronin's eyes widened as the girl brushed past him swiftly. Standing frozen in his place, he let out a choked curse before his body fell limply to the ground. There was a deathly silence except for the soft 'tch' Takara had let out, rolling her eyes at the man lying on the floor.The other two stared in disbelief before lunging at her with their katanas, only to end up the same as their companion, face down on their floor. It was all over in a few seconds.

_Easy. All too easy. _She mused again, wiping off the blood on her blade on the shirt of one of the dead ronin. _Fools. That's what you get for letting your guard down._

Sheating her katana, she quickly stepped out into another alley, taking a detour back to the Shinsengumi headquarters to avoid any furtive stares from passer-bys.

-

Tetsunosuke was pacing back and forth nervously, looking up every now and then at the entrance door of the Shinsengumi headquarters.

_Where was Takara anyway? _

She was taking much longer than he had expected. This wasn't the first time he had gotten himself stupidly involved with ronin. The last time it happened, Shinpachi, Sanosuke and Okita-san had come to his aid and the three of them had easily knocked the ronin of their feet. But this time Takara was alone on her own.. What if something had happened to her? He swallowed the lump in his throat but found that his mouth was completely dry.

_Maybe I should inform the vice-commander about this. _

Against his better judgement, Tetsunosuke decided to wait a while more to see if Takara would return, instead of shooting his mouth off to Hijikata-san. As if his thoughts had been read, the vice-commander stepped out of his room, causing Tetsunosuke to jump, startled.

He stared curiously at his page before taking the pipe out of his mouth. 'What are you up to this time? Shouldn't you be doing your duties, brat?'

'I..You see sir, I'm..'

A movement at the entrance caught Tetsunosuke's eye. 'Takara!' The short boy yelled, not completing his sentence.

He ran towards the fourth unit captain to see if she was alright, but as he approached her, his steps slowed down until he came to a halt, a short distance away from her. His eyes clouded and he looked at the ground as he began to feel the same sick feeling he had felt in his stomach days before. The same feeling when he had seen Okita-san slit the throat of the ronin who had followed them the other day. Takara was totally unharmed, untouched, but her kimono was completely stained. Blood-red.

'No.. Don't tell me.. All of them?' Tetsunosuke whispered, still refusing to look at her.

'Tetsu.. I..' Takara stopped short as she found herself for a loss of words. There was nothing she could say to justify herself.

_Why does it feel as if I've betrayed him? It's not like I've done anything wrong._

'I can't explain.' She said helplessly in the end.

Tetsunosuke merely nodded. He knew he shouldn't be surprised that she had just killed them all like that. She was an _Oni._ All of them were. All except him. If Takara could kill so easily, then why? Why was he an exception? Why couldn't he kill? The sight of Takara covered in blood, as a murderer, it made him sink deeper and deeper into his thoughts and confusion.

The vice-commander stood silently at the back, watching the scene before him. Finally, breathing out a mouthful of smoke, he broke the awkward silence by motioning to Takara.

'Come with me.'

She nodded in response and walked past the page, who remained standing in his place, left in his own thoughts.

-

Ayu-nee was cleaning the fish in the kitchen when Takara walked in, her used clothes in her hands.

Takara had been reprimanded by the vice-commander to have followed Tetsunosuke to get the groceries, and nothing else. Unlike Tetsunosuke, he found no fault in her for doing what she had done. Sometimes she wondered if deep inside the vice-commander was actually pleased. Pleased that she had learnt well. Takara thought of Okita-san and shuddered. The first unit captain was lethal and deadly. He had a certain look in his eyes when he killed, almost the look of death itself.

_Is that what I want too?_

Takara had decided to wash her own clothes instead of troubling Tetsu to wash them for her. She had troubled him more than enough that day.

She walked silently through the kitchen towards the washing area when Ayu-nee looked up from her fish to Takara. However, the cook said nothing as she cast a glance at the blood-stained kimono that Takara held in her arms, but just shook her head sadly and went back to her cooking.

Takara stopped in her tracks, and looked back at Ayu-nee, expecting her to say something. Instead, Ayu-nee's head remained bent down, concentrating on the cleaning of the fishes. Takara opened her mouth to say something, but then closed it again. She knew the older woman was upset with her, but for the second time that day, she had no idea what to say. Seeing that Ayu-nee had no intention of saying anything to her either, she continued to walk out of the kitchen and into the washing area.

As she walked out into the washing area, she felt the warmth from the rays of the evening sun. Grabbing a pail which was already filled with water, she found her own thoughts rising.

_'And that gives you authority to take the lives of others, ..?'_

Ayu-nee's words from the other day rang in Takara's head, as if accusing her. She became frustrated with herself. What had she done wrong? Why couldn't she kill them? They were no more than wandering ronin.

_'Is this what you really think? Do you want to live your life this way?'_

She threw her stained kimono into the pail and added soap inside, watching the bubbles form on the surface of the water. Letting the kimono soak for a while, she picked up a wooden scrub and lifted her kimono half out of the water, running the wooden scrub roughly along the cloth of her kimono. She scrubbed furiously at the bloodstained cloth, soaking it alternately in the water.

That was when Takara realised that she had never really thought about what she was doing, or how she was living her life. She made a mental note to sort out her thoughts one day. If she ever lived to see it.

_'Maybe one day, when someone close to you dies, you'll realise what the loss of life means'_

Like red threads, the colour of the blood spread in the water, dying the water in the pail completely red.

-

The two ninjas danced silently upon the rooftops in the moonlight.

Susumu was suprised to see that tonight, only one kunoichi was left. However that one wind demon was already a handful. Her attacks were swift and powerful, giving Susumu no time to attack as he was only able to defend. His chance came when she launched at him with a high kick. He grabbed her ankle and flung her back. Instead the blonde ninja backflipped and landed gracefully.

She gave cold laugh as she looked at Susumu. 'You've got to do better than that,'

His worst fears were confirmed when he heard her icy voice, her words cutting through him like a knife.

'Susumu Yamazaki.'

That was when he knew he had been a shinobi for the last time.

-


	8. Heisuke and a pocketknife

It was hard to get any sleep that night. Takara got up and proceeded to the kitchen, boiling herself a pot of jasmine tea. After pouring herself a cup, she stood leaning against the door frame, staring out into the rain, which had started barely a few minutes ago. The wind picked up and blew her soft hair across her face, the pit-pattering of the raindrops, the only sound filliing the emptiness of the silent night.

As the tea cup warmed her cold hands, a silhoutte of a young man appeared outside the kitchen. He was completely drenched and was panting heavily as he sat on the floor, burying his face into the palm of his hand.

'Susumu?'

The young man gave Takara a quick glance before he turned his back to her once again, leaning back against a pillar. Remembering the tiff they had earlier on, and the slap she had given him, Takara opened her mouth to say something to get back at him, but closed it immediately, deciding against her own actions. She could sense that something was wrong. The colour was almost drained from his face and his eyebrows were knotted into a frown. For the usually calm shinobi to be worried, something must have had gone very, very wrong.

The wind picked up again, chilling the both of them to the bone.

Susumu's mind was racing as he thought back on what happened. Now that the Choshuu knew his identity, he didn't know what could possibly happen next. He would definately be unable to spy on the Choshuu anymore, and it made him feel awfully helpless. What use to the Shinsengumi could he be? They were in a vital situation, preparing to take down the Choshuu and here he was, unable to obtain anymore information about them. The vice-commander would definately be unhappy about it. In addition, his own sister would have to...

Susumu shook the thoughts out of his head. Tilting his head slighly up, he noticed Takara was no longer standing behind him. At first, he had expected her to be shooting her mouth off or starting a fight with him, but she had instead stayed completely silent, which he was rather grateful for. In addition, her presence had been strangely comforting and now that he noticed she was gone, he started to feel the cold biting into him through his wet clothes.

_I don't need anyone. Not even my sister._

That was what he had lived by almost all his life, ever since he started his job as a shinobi. Bending his head back down, he closed his eyes shut. He was alone in this world, he needed no one. But sometimes, just sometimes.. There were occasions where he often doubted his own beliefs.

A sudden movement beside him caused Susumu's eyes to dart open. He turned to see the young girl kneeling next to him and holding out a cup of steaming tea. Takara's hair was let down instead of tied up in her usual ponytail. Susumu often saw her only as the fourth unit captain of the Shinsengumi, treated her like one of the other men, and it was one of the rare chances that hesaw her as the young girl that she really was.

'Drink up.' She said, handing him the cup of tea.

'No thanks.'

'You're going to fall ill if you don't warm yourself up.'

'Why should you care?'

'Why shouldn't I?'

Neither said anything or made a movement for the next few moments.

Finally relenting, Susumu took the cup from her and drank up the tea. He was immediately thankful for the warmth that spread through every part of him, expelling the cold. He murmured a barely audible 'thanks' before turning away and looking out at the dark sky.

The two of them sat in silence along the corridor, the light rain drops falling on them everytime the wind blew in their direction.

'So.. What happened tonight?' Takara finally asked, fiddling around with the tea cup.

Susumu was too lethargic to even try to be rude to her. There was an inevitable load on his shoulders at the moment, and it would only take some time before it brought him down.

'I can't spy on the Choshu anymore. They know my identity.' he replied flatly and straightforward.

The shorter captain didn't respond. She knew how awful it was, having your identity revealed. It was almost like losing a part of yourself to an enemy, leaving yourself open and vulnerable. There was nothing she could think of at that moment to comfort him either.

The spy gave a short, cold laugh. 'Gloating over it aren't you?'

'You always think that I'm out to get you, don't you?'

'Isn't that so?'

Silence.

Quietly, Takara got up, picking up both their teacups and placing them back in the kitchen. Then she walked back to her room, passing Susumu, who was still sitting with his back facing her. Stopping, behind him, she bit her lip nervously and bent down behind him. Placing her right hand on his shoulder, she spoke softly, but clearly near his ear.

'That isn't true. I do admire you Susumu, for being the spy that you are, for having achieved much more than anyone could expect out of you. And I know you won't let such a small matter bring you down, because you too know it yourself, there's so much more that you're still capable of doing.'

For once that entire night, Susumu turned and looked at her straight in the eye, his expression in slight surprise.Getting up again, she walked towards the door to her room.

'Goodnight Yamazaki-san.' She said as she walked off, without turning her head back to look at him.

This time, it was to her surprise that she had heard a reply in return.

'Goodnight... Takara.'

-

Takara's shoulder had healed over the past few days and soon she was back sparring with the rest of the members.

'Glad to..' puff 'have you back' puff 'Takara!' Heisuke panted, blocking every attack that Takara was throwing at him with the wooden sword.

'Yea..' whack! 'My hands have been itching,' whack! 'to start sparring again. And from the looks of it,I'mthrashing you pretty well eh?'swoosh!

Her last attack had missed Heisuke completely when he dodged to the left. Immediately, she turned around just in time to block what would have been a nasty blow to the back.

She stumbled back, shocked by his sudden aggresiveness. 'Whoa. When did this become a...' Before she could complete her sentence her bokken was hit clean out of her hands, landing with a noisy clanging sound a few metres behind her.

Heisuke grinned.' Hah. You were saying?Anyway since you'd been missing out on so much practise, I thought I'd speed things up a little for you.'

'Very funny Heisuke! You cheater! You caught me off guard. I would have beaten you fair and square.'

He raised an eyebrow. 'Oh really?' Then he swung the bokken at Takara for a finishing blow.

Thinking fast, she did a swift backflip and landed next to her bokken on the floor. 'Beat that!' She proclaimed, picking up her bokken and pointing it at him.

'Not bad.'

She lunged at him this time with much more aggressiveness, each blow becoming more and more powerful. The attacking and defending went on for a good five minutes and neither had the intention of letting up. Takara felt her energy draining her eventually and her arms were already aching from sudden intensive practise.

'That's enough.. ' Heisuke said finally,lowering his bokken. 'I think it's best we..'

This time, Takara had taken the opportunity to hit his weapon away and pointed the bokken to his chest. She was prepared to give him a bad bruise on his shoulder, but when she swung it at him, he dodged the wooden sword once againand grabbed her wrist. Twisting her arm that was holding the bokken around her back, he pulled her back against him, while the other hand flicked out a small knife, pressing it against her throat.

Takara stood frozen against him, feeling the cold metal blade against her. Was he insane! Her own back was against the front of his body and she could smell the stench of both their sweat-soaked outfits.

'Remember this?' He laughed after a while, pulling the knife away and releasing Takara.

'Dammmit Heisuke!' Takara cursed. 'That wasn't funny! You scared the freaking shit out of me.'

'Well, it just goes to show that you can never outdo me in tricks. And besides, since you like that knife so much, I decided to let you have the feel of it. It's a pretty good move don't you think?'

'... You think you can pull that stunt on anyone? Don't be nuts.' She said, rubbing her neck, 'Unless of course, you enjoy pulling other men close to you.' She said teasingly.

Heisuke pulled a face in disgust.'No thanks. I'll save it for using it on other pretty girls like you.'

'Heisuke!'

'What?'

Takara's face turned a slight shade of red. 'What on earth do you mean by that?'

'I'm only stating facts! Using you as a hypothetical example, that's all. What are you getting so paranoid about?'

Takara rolled her eyes. 'Nevermind.'

Heisuke gave her a puzzled stare in return.

'Tch. Sorry. I'm just not used to people saying that to me.'

He gave a shrug, dropping the topic.'It's alright.'

Grabbing a towel, he sat down on the floor at starting wiping his face. Takara sat across him, her face still a little flushed from his previous comment. She knew it was nothing personal, but it made her uncomfortable. All her life spent in the Shinsengumi, she had been treated as one of the other men, training with them, suffering with them, being one of them. And yet it was always Heisuke that treated her differently, who still saw her as a what she really was. A girl.

So maybe he was a bit of a pervert. She wasn't exactly sure if it was a good thing that he treated her like how he treated the other girls outside. But still, oh well.

'I wonder where Ayu-nee is going. Some errand of the commanders i heard. And when she came back last night, she said it was going to be her last meal. I'm going to miss her cooking.' Heisuke said, sighing.

Takara nodded her head thoughtfully in agreement, even though she knew very well where their cook had gone. Since Susumu had been found out, the vice-commander was preparing to send Ayu-nee undercover as a hairdresser for the Choshu.

'Who's going to provide our meals anyway?' Takara suddenly came to realise that there was absolutely no other cook in the Shinsengumi.

Before Heisuke could answer, they heard someone from outside clearing his throat.

The second unit captain and the tenth unit captain walked into the training hall.

'Ahem,' Shinpachi started, 'that would be by yours truly.' He said, gesturing to himself.

'YOU?' Takara and Heisuke chorused in unison.

'I still think it'd be better if we ordered from the shop around the corner, safer too.' Sanosuke said, rubbing his chin thoughtfully.

'Very funny Sano.' Shinpachi growled. 'Anyhow, you should be grateful that you're all in for a treat tonight.'

Heisuke leapt up and put an arm around Shinpachi's neck, the other one ruffling his hair. 'You never told me you could cook Shinpattsan! All the way buddy!'

While Shinpachi was struggling to break free of Heisuke's grip, Sanosuke turned to Takara. Looking down at her, he suddenly said, 'Hey, shouldn't you be preparing to go already?'

'Go where?' Takara frowned, puzzled. Suddenly she darted up in realisation. 'OH SHIT. I'm supposed to lead the unit out on patrol today!' Grabbing her things, she stumbled clumsily out of the hall to change into her uniform

'Thanks Sano! Bye guys!'

-

Takara wore the standard uniform of the haori over the hakama and the kimono, with a white cord crossed over the chest and tied at the back. The headband around her forehead, together with the standard high men's ponytail and baggy uniform, made her look like a short teenage boy, but the seriousness in her face told people that she was indeed worthy of being a captain.

Apart from a few shopkeepers whose shop she often visited, few knew that the 'feminine young man' was really a girl. Those who got close enough in battle to find out, ended up dying under her sword anyway. Once or twice, the imperial court had questioned the Shinsengumi about their fourth unit captain, but Hijikata-san had managed to explain things to them. That man always had a knack for getting things his way.

The people in the streets cleared the way, making a path for the men clad in their haoris, following behind the younger captain.

She hated patrolling. It was awfully boring, walking through streets and having people staring wide-eyed in fear at you.Besides, the town was calm and quiet, without any trouble brewing. In addition, her sparring from earlier left her aching and tired. Takara wasn't sure how many hours they had spent patrolling and her stomach was growling in hunger.

Looking up at the sky, she noticed that the sun was going to set and turned to her squad.

'Alright. We'll be heading back to the headquarters now!'

Some of the men grunted in response while the rest nodded their heads, trudging back to the headquarters. They still were hardly comfortable in taking orders from a kid.

When the gate of the Shinsengumi came into view, Takara raced at full speed to the mess hall for dinner, famished from patrolling the whole day.

To her delight, the bowls were already placed on each person's tray, waiting to be uncovered and for them to dig in. Shinpachi stood in the front of the hall, and upon seeing Takara enter, exclaimed, 'Takara! You're just in time for dinner!' Then to everyone, he said 'Alright everyone, enjoy your meal of the day. The secret recipe Nagakura's steamed vegetables!'

Takara uncovered her bowl to find it filled with steaming vegetables, in strangely odd shapes. Suddenly, dinner didn't exactly look the most appetising.

'Why are the vegetables so oddly shaped?' Someone commented from the back.

'Ahh well..' Shinpachi said nervously, 'You see, the vice-commander stepped on a few of them earlier this afternoon. So they kinda got out of shape.'

_Oh well. Maybe it tastes better than it looks._

Taking a deep breath, she picked up one of the vegetables with her chopsticks and placed it into her mouth, chewing slowly. The vegetables were rather bland and not very tasty. Edible, but definately not gourmet material. Gulping down her green tea to wash the taste of the vegetables down, she heard Saito-san, who was seated next to her, commenting on the food.

'Dinner is indeed untouchable tonight.'

Takara could not help but laugh at his comment.

'Oh come on Saito-san. I'm sure it can't be that bad.' She added, picking another vegetable up and trying it again, only to find it just as hard to swallow as before.

The third unit captain got up from his seat, saying to Shinpachi, 'I shall be going out to get soba for dinner instead.'

'What!' Shinpachi gaped at the insult to his cooking. 'So much for appreciation!'

'Saito-san...Wait...' Takara said to the captain who was on his way out,

Getting up from her seat, she quickly added,

'I'm coming with you.'

'WHY YOU! COME BACK HERE YOU SQUIRT!'

Takara ran off trailing behind Saito Hajime, quickly getting away from their new, and angry, chef.of the Shinsengumi.


	9. Ayunee

It had been almost a week and a half since Ayu-nee had 'mysteriously' left. Not only did Takara miss Ayu-nee's cooking, she missed talking to the cook as well.

Unfortunately, their last conversation had ended on a cold note, and she made it a point to apologise to Ayu-nee immediately when the older woman got back.

Shinpachi had been feeding the Shinsengumi during the absence of their original cook, and all they got everyday were Nagakura's special boiled vegetables. If not, it was either fried or steamed. It wasn't that Shinpachi's cooking was inedible, Takara had to admit his skills had improved. However, everyone was pretty much sick of the lack of variety in the meals, even Sanosuke. Of course not that anyone dared to voice it out.

The kitchen, which used to be such a vibrant place before, was now cold and empty. When Ayu-nee had been around, the comedic trio would never fail to barge into her kitchen looking for whatever food they could find. It would be one big hassle where she would try to stop those jokers from finishing everything. The comedic trio still joked around, trying to liven the atmosphere, but they weren't oblivious to their surroundings. They were all the same, their eyes duller than before, furrowed with worry about their favourite cook.

Even the page-boy quietened down, doing his chores silently and lifelessly. Once or twice he had questioned Susumu of Ayu-nee's whereabouts, only to get shot back down with a cold answer.The shinobi, on the other hand, was just as cold and indifferent as he ever was. He seemed the least concerned despite the fact that she was his own sister. If he was worried, he concealed his feelings from the rest of the Shinsengumi very well. Occasionally however, Takara had caught him staring out into the rain, as if yearning to see Ayu-nee come back.

The weather the past few days seemed to express the depressing mood of the Shinsengumi, as well. The air was dense and humid, the raindrops falling heavily and continuously. With everyone hidden away in their rooms, the Shinsengumi looked like an abandoned building, silent and dead.

Takara had woken up to the same miserable weather that greeted them everyday. She forced herself out of the comforts of her own blanket, the cool weather merely making her want to sleep even longer. However, her unit was on patrol that morning, and she dreaded the day even more.

After freshening up slightly, she walked to the hall to pick up her haori, only to find it still hanging on the clothesline, damp.

'Great.' Takara muttered, feeling the damp cloth between her fingers. None of the other haori's fit her as they were all much too big for her size.

Eventually she decided to borrow Shinpachi's haori, as he was the only one who was only a tad taller. She slid the cardboard door open when she found his room, letting the sunlight stream down on the second unit captain whom she assumed to still be sleeping. Takara reached into his cupboard, taking out the light blue haori.

'What's wrong with yours? Not dried out yet?'

She turned round to see Shinpachi lying on his stomach, his head rested on hands, looking up at her.

'Yea. Sorry. I thought you were sleeping or I would've asked you first.' She replied, shrugging.

'Alright. Just make sure it's freshly washed and dried when I get it back. I don't want it to be smelling like you.'

'What! I don't stink like the rest of you guys.'

'Shmure Shmure.' Came the muffled reply.

'You really going to be patrolling in such weather?' Takara heard him ask again just before she was going to leave his room.

'I don't have much of a choice do I?' She laughed. 'Unless you want to do it for me.'

Shinpachi merely replied with a yawn.

-

The fourth unit trudged through the heavy falling rain, their heads held high despite being drenched by the awful weather.

Takara felt every drop of rain beat onto her (or rather Shinpachi's) light blue haori, turning it a darker shade of blue. The rain made her hair wet, causing it to stick to her face and the droplets of water on her eyelashes blurred her vision. Suddenly she realised that if she had taken her own damp haori, she would have returned to the headquarters in the same condition anyway. Drenched.

She hated the feeling of the layers of soaked cloth weighing heavily down on her body and the wetness making her feel even colder. All the ladies around were clad in dry kimonos, carrying flowery bamboo umbrellas to shelter them from the rain. Takara had a right to be holding an umbrella at the moment, to shelter herself as well. However, the thought of a squad of Shinsengumi members carrying flowery bamboo umbrellas, it was ridiculous.

Once or twice, the unit pushed open the doors of local teashops, looking out for any suspicious characters, only to be met with surprised and stunned eyes staring back at them. It turned out the only 'suspicious' characters around were the Shinsengumi themselves.

It took Takara almost an hour of patrolling in the rain until she finally decided to call it a day. With their haoris soaking wet, the fourth unit made a stop at the nearest tea house. Takara ran to the entrance of the teahouse and shook herself as dry as she possibly could before pulling the curtains open. The warmth from the tea and food made her feel much better from the cold clothes sticking to her body, despite the cold glares that they received when they entered. The fourth unit was relatively small, and they merely took up a maximum of three tables of around 6.

They motioned to the innkeeper and placed their orders for anything to warm them up.The other customers in the teahouse had either left the place, or continued with their previous conversations, trying to hide their uncomfortability of the presence of the Shinsengumi. Takara tried to ignore the strange stares some of the others had given her, as she acted oblivious to the comments they were passing.

'What's a chibi doing leading a unit?'

'Who's the kid?'

She rolled her eyes and was thankfully distracted by the sight of the waiteress approaching with her tea. The murmuring around her soon grew louder as the others got more caught up in their own conversations. However, a particular conversation caught her ear and her eyes immediately darted up in alert, looking at two men at the table nearby who were talking.

'Didn't you hear? They were laughing about it all the way, mocking her. The pretty hairdresser that attended to them. I heard they did her pretty badly.'

'Well they deserve it. Those cheap ones who just go sleeping around with..'

The second man hadn't completed his sentence before someone grabbed his yukata in the front and jerked him up. He let out a few curses in shock before he found himself looking up into a pair of dark and very angry, brown eyes. The sight of the white headband and the light blue and white haori were like warning signals which immediately made him feel as if his knees had gone weak.

Takara had grabbed him with one arm and snarled at him. 'How dare you! You low down worm! Where are these men now? Where have they taken her?'

The man waved his arms in defence, panicking and stuttering.

'I d..don't know.. I just heard.. heard them. They were t..talking at the top of their voices about.. what.. what they had done.'

She let go of him in fury, thrusting him roughly back into his seat. He immediately bowed his head down, trembling in fear. Takara walked back to her table and picked up her katana that she had set down.

'We're going to Masuya. To find Ayu-nee.'

'Captain..' One of her fellow squadmates called out after her. 'We can't go there without any permission. We have to inform the headquarters first.'

Takara stopped in her tracks and breathed out in exasperation. She knew what he had said was right. They had no right to just barge into Masuya to look for Ayu-nee. Not only would they be disobeying the rules, it would mess up the plans the Shinsengumi. Hijikata-san would not tolerate such unreasonable actions and it only meant seppuku for them.

'You're right.' She admitted bitterly. 'We'll head back to the headquarters and see what we can do then.'

Not forgetting to pay for the food and drinks, she took out a sack of coins, worth slightly more than enough for what they had bought.

'Keep the change.' She said, tossing it to the shopkeeper before walking briskly out of the teahouse with the rest of the squad behind her. She could feel panic rising in her as her thoughts ran wild, the different scenarios of what could have happened to their cook, popping up randomly in her head.

_Please Ayu-nee, please be safe._

-

The Shinsengumi was in a chaotic rush. Whatever available men left, namely the 2nd and 10th squad, were dressed in their uniforms, grabbing weapons and banners.

'Is that all the reinforces we have!' Cursed an angry Sanosuke, his spear resting on his shoulder.

'The fourth unit is out on patrol sir!'

'Forget it Sano. We'll head out first. Heisuke's staying back to to inform the commanders when they get back.' Shinpachi said, before yelling out to the rest. 'Alright! Let's go! And remember that we've got to find her as quickly as possible!' '_Before anything happens to her.'_ He added under his breath.

'Yes Sir!' The two units chorused in unison, their expression hard and determined to find her.

Shinpachi and Sanosuke led the squads out, breaking into a slow sprint with the Shinsengumi banners raised.

Tetsunosuke watched in the background, gripping the wooden pillar until his knuckles were turning white. He felt his chest had knotted up, ever since that man had arrived minutes go, informing them of a group or ronin carrying a lady beaten up. His gut feeling immediately told him it was Ayu-nee. And for once, he wished his feeling was wrong. Apparently the rest of the Shinsengumi had thought the same way, and swiftly made preparations to look for her. All of them were worried. All except one.

Her very own brother sat calmly in the comforts of his room, his face clear of any lines of worry. The thought made Tetsunosuke sick. The callused, cold-hearted shinobi, how could he not even care about his own sister? The page quickened his pace to Susumu's room, throwing himself at the shinobi and grabbing his kimono in fury.

'Why aren't you looking for her? Aren't you even upset or worried for your own sister?' The redhead spat out angrily.

Susumu towered over him, and clamped his hand around Tetsunosuke's throat. There was a long silence as the shinobi's hand trembled as he tried to stop himself from strangling the page.

'Why..' Susumu looked up angrily for once, at the page that he held above the ground. 'Why is it you always make me feel so angry.. I've never lost my temper.. Until you came along...' His normally calm voice now raised a notch, his tone sharp and furious.

Susumu seemed to be fighting an inner conflict, as held the page by the neck trying his best to control his temper

Tears began to brim in the page's eyes and he finally broke down, not in fear for himself, but fear for Ayu-nee. 'Please..' he cried, 'You can hit me, or do whatever you want. But please go look for Ayu-nee now. A man said he saw some ronin carrying a bruised and battered woman. I know it's her.' Tetsunosuke tightened his grip on the older boy's wrist. 'Please go look for her!'

Susumu expression flickered for a moment before he released the page. Instead, he turned his back to the redhead and walked out of the room.

'Why should I? Why don't you go look for her. I'm sure she'd be happier to see you than me.'

At his comment, Tetsunosuke lashed out at him, grabbing him by his kimono again and pulling him onto the ground in the rain. He sat on the shinobi and raised a clenched fist, as if threatening to hit the stunned spy. Instead, the page began to sob and lowered his fist.

'You know what she told me? She told me to look after you! She told me to teach you things that you would never learn, she told me to teach you how to enjoy life! That's what she said before she left!'

Susumu lay on the ground, the rain drenching his kimono and the drops falling straight on his face. But he was numbed to the coldness or the feelings of the raindrops. Every word the page said only made him realise what he should do, as the memories of Ayumu flashed past his eyes. Tetsunosuke got off the shinobi slowly, regaining a control of himself. He turned to give Susumu a final glance before running off after the 2nd and 10th squad in search for Ayu-nee.

Susumu sat up in the rain, his mind in a whirl. He shut his eyes tight for a while before he got up to his room.

-

_Susumu.._

In the rain, a shinobi clad in black raced on, leaping from on rooftop to another, his black shawl billowing in the wind.

_What kind of face is that? _

_What kind of ninja laughs and cries all the time?_

He fell buried in his own thoughts, oblivious to his surroundings as they passed him in a blur.

_How can you still say, 'I'm scared' or 'I'm embarrassed'? _

_Forget those things right now._

Kept inside, maybe. But never forgotten. Susumu never forgot anything. He kept it within him, hardened his heart and covered his emotions with a mask, often pretending everything was alright. Was it alright now?

_No one's going to help you. _

_You have to survive on your own. _

_You're not a samurai, you're a ninja._

There was no one. He was alone. Ninjas needed nobody, but now she needed him.

_Do not think of me as your sister,_

_I do no think of you as my brother._

Yet she was the one, the one who created the distance between them. She taught him to be cold and emotionless.

_Listen, when you get older, _

_you will dress up as I do, and go to work._

Susumu felt as if he was snapped back to reality, the slippery roof tile causing him to lose his footing. He landed on the top of the roof and buried his face in his arms. His breath was short and heavy, his shoulders moving up and down with each raggard breath.

_Then even if you make mistakes every day,_

_Even if I die,_

Suddenly he found his emotions once again, worry and anxiety that caused such a searing pain inside of him. Something that had been buried for years, finally came back to haunt him in the worst way possible.

_You'll survive._

-


	10. What is, Death?

Heisuke leapt to his feet when he saw the fourth unit run through the gates of the Shinsengumi headquarters. Takara was leading the squad, her brown fringe was plastered to her face by the wetness of the rain, her eyebrows knotted in a frown.

'Takara! Shinpachi and Sano have...'

Before he could finish his sentence, Heisuke was rudely cut off.

'The commander! Where is the vice-commander!' Takara demanded, panic in the edge of her voice.

'They're out on errands for the emperor, they're not going to be back until much later.'

'Damn it.' Takara cursed. 'Ayu-nee's in trouble. I'm going to Masuya to find her.'

Heisuke made a reach for the young girl as she turned out of the Shinsengumi and pulled her back.

'Don't you dare. Ayu-nee's not in Masuya anymore. A man came by earlier reporting the whereabouts of a few ronin carrying the body of a woman. Shinpachi and Sano have already set off in search for her.'

'But you can't expect me to just sit around and wait!'

'You were given strict orders to stand guard of the headquarters. You can't just go running off like that.'

'But..'

'Stay. Here.' Those were the final words he gave.

Takara slumped her shoulders in defeat and crossed her arms like a stubborn child. What else could she do but wait? Heisuke was right. She couldn't go out blindly on her own to search for Ayu-nee. She walked over and sat on the wooden flooring of the building, next to Heisuke.

She sat restlessly, crossing her legs, then uncrossing them again, running her fingers through her wet hair, trying her best to contain herself before she screamed out in impatience and worry. Was she the only one who was worried for Ayu-nee?

However, when she looked to her right, she saw that Heisuke was seated silently, but his head was bent low and his hands clasped tightly, as if in prayer.

Ayu-nee's life was hanging on a line, and everyone was well aware of it.

-

The rain had thinned to a slight drizzle, bringing a sense of serenity to them. Takara hadn't spoken a word for the past hour or so, anticipating the return of the 2nd and 10th unit. She and Heisuke had no idea what was going on. If they had found Ayu-nee yet, or if she still was alive, or worst still...

Takara's thoughts were interrupted by the outline of a few figures at the entrance of the Shinsengumi, drawing the attention of those in the Shinsengumi. They got up, startled, walking awkwardly to the group to see what had happened.

It was as if the world fell silent and she found herself frozen in time when she got a clear view of the people. Her head began to spin and she felt numb, as if she was dreaming, like she wasn't really there, but merely watching the scene pass her by.

It wasn't the sight of Shinpachi, Sano, or Tetsunosuke's sad expression, but the sight of Susumu carrying a lifeless body in his arms.

One that looked identical to that of their cook.

From the corner of her eye, she saw Heisuke, his body stiffened and tensed up when he saw them. He then lowered his head in respect, following behind them sadly while Takara could only look on in horror as they brought Ayu-nee's body in, to prepare for the funeral rites. Yet despite the big commotion about the matter earlier, this time, no one said a thing. The silence was deathly, the atmosphere still.

The last raindrop fell lightly from the sky as the sun emerged from the behind a cloud, lighting up the sky, and the cheerful sound of the chirping of the birds could be heard. The irony of the weather in contrast to her death. Takara stood rooted to the ground and watched them walk off, until she was the only one left in the courtyard. It was strange, how she felt a weird feeling inside of her, the same kind of pain she felt when she witnessed the death of her parents. At first her shoulders began to tremble as she bent her head down, unsure to laugh or to cry. It was all some kind of a sick joke. It had to be.

Then the tears began to form at the corner of her eyes. One drop, then two, then they rolled down her cheek so naturally.

It shocked her. All along, the sight of death had pleased her. Now, she was crying because of the death of someone.

_No.. I can't..._

She told herself to stop. But instead she let out a choked sob and finally broke down, falling onto her knees, the bottom of her haori soaked on the wet ground. She placed her hand over her mouth as she cried for the loss of someone so dear to her.

And those words Ayu-nee had said, ever so familiar, came back to her as clearly as a bell.

_Maybe one day, when someone close to you dies, you'll realise what the loss of life means._

Ayu-nee had been right. And Takara wished she hadn't at all.

_­_-

Takara paced back and forth outside the training hall. She had excused herself from the preparation of the body for the funeral rite.

Usually it was a natural thing, but this time the sight of blood only made her want to hurl The fumes from the incense smelt like death, lingering in the room to haunt them. There was no way she could touch the body of Ayu-nee, cut and bruised, her bones broken. It was like a sacred relic, now ruined and broken. It pained her everytime she thought of what had happened.

But even as normal acquaintences with the cook, she felt such sadness, then how would Susumu feel? He had been the one to pick up Ayu-nee's body, bruised and broken beyong recognition.

She realised that she hadn't seen the shinobi since he carried his sister's body back. Where could he be? How was he feeling? Takara assumed that he would be on the roof, and she scaled the walls up to the roof, looking around for him.

Then she spotted him, sitting alone on the roof opposite, hunched over. His hair was soaked and let down, the top layer already of his uniform off as he had used it to cover the body of his sister.

Takara leapt silently to the opposite roof and knelt beside him.

His head remained bent down, not even giving her a glance. She bit her lip and placed an arm around him. Comforting was definitely something she was clueless about.

However, her arm around his shoulder made him feel much better, even though he would never admit it. It made him forget about the coldness he felt, both inside, and outside from his wet clothes. Susumu convinced himself it was just her body warmth.

'Susumu...' She started hestitantly. 'Do you want to talk about it?'

Takara gave herself a mental kick. That was a stupid question. Obviously he wasn't going to,

The older boy didn't even stir from his position, and mumbled a simple, 'I'm fine.'

Takara sighed. 'Come on, you can't keep bottling up your feelings. If you're feeling upset, then why can't you just show it? If you keep this up, you're going to..'

'Going to what?'

'I don't know. You're going to explode. Break down.' She exclaimed in exasparation. This conversation wasn't getting them anywhere.

'You're not exactly the right person to be telling this to me are you?' He answered curtly, this time looking up back at her. Strangely, his expression was the same, emotionless. But the pain in his eyes were more evident than before.

Susumu did have a point. Both of them were taught the same things as watchers, to never show her feelings. After all that was one of the weaknesses of a shinobi. And here she was, telling him to let it all out.

'That's true.' She admitted, 'But are you really going to stay like that? Look at the state you're in now. How are you even going to carry on? You may be a shinobi, but you're still human. We all are. Everyone is mourning her death, all the captains, even the commander himself. What makes you any different?'

There was a long silence. Apparently all the conversations Takara had with Susumu, a large portion of it was filled with silence.

This time, the silence was broken by the sound of Shinpachi calling for her. 'Takara.. The funeral rite's about to begin.'

Even the usually cheerful comedic trio was upset, the life in their voices gone. It was obvious that they were trying their best to hold back the tears as well, seeing that they were probably too, one of the closest to the Shinsengumi cook.

Takara took her arm off the shinobi's shoulders. 'You're not attending the funeral?'

'No.'

'Alright...' She said disapprovingly.

Before leaping off the roof, she gave Susumu a quick, awkward hug. The kind that her mother used to give her, when she still _had_ a mother that was. It wasn't anything personal. Takara just felt the urge to do it, as if it were her reponsibility to offer him some sisterly affection because he had lost Ayu-nee's.

At that moment, Susumu wanted so badly to return the hug, to hold Takara tightly like he always wished he could hold his sister. He realised everything that he always wanted to do, to show his affection for Ayumu, but he never did.

She wasn't his sister. She wasn't allowed to love him like a little brother.

And now, she wasn't even alive.

The images of her flashed quickly through his mind, like pages of a torn and tattered book. Strangely, he could hardly even remember Ayumu, as if he didn't even know her. And to think that she was his sister.

It was painful to even try to remember.

-

Nagakura Shinpachi led Takara back to the training hall silently, his eyes downcast all the time. Neither spoke. The 2nd unit captain noticed that the younger girl's eyes were red and slightly puffy, and he guessed that she had been crying previously. It was funny. He had never seen her cry, but if three quarters of the other men in the Shinsengumi let out silent sobs when they found out the devastating news, why shouldn't she? Shinpachi himself felt the same way, but refused to let himself cry. He was strong, emotionally and physically. Ever since he was young, he never cried. Instead, he was the one to comfort others, to take away their tears. But he himself didn't need tears.

As they walked, they passed the red-headed page. Tetsunosuke spotted Takara and ran up to her, 'Have you seen Susumu?'

'He's on the roof.' She replied, trying to give a small smile. If there was someone who could feel the shinobi feel better, Tetsunosuke was probably the best person to do it.

The page nodded and ran off, probably to get a ladder to climb to the roof. The two captains continued on to the hall, sliding the _shoji_ open and seating themselves silently in the second row among the rest of the captains. The first row consisted of Souji, Kondo-san, Yamanami-san, and an empty space belonging to Hijikata, who was not there yet.

Ayu-nee's body lay coverd with a white cloth in the front of the hall, incense burning beside her body. The entire room was silent, except for the restless shuffling of the men and the sound of stifled sobs. They sat in silence and bowed their heads in respect.

'If only... If only we had gotten there earlier.. This wouldn't have happened..' Takara heard Shinpachi cursing under his breath, whispering to Sanosuke angrily. His furious voice although soft, still broke the silence in the hall.

'Both of you, please. We're in the presence of Ayu-nee.' Souji turned around and told them off. Shinpachi nodded in understanding and bowed his head in apology. However, his hands gripped his knees tightly, creases forming on the surface of his garment.

Just then, the _shoji _was slid open again, this time forcefully and noisily.

'You're late Toshi.' The Commander addressed him.

The vice commander stepped in, seating briskly at his place in fury and bowing his head in respect for a few moments. Then he looked up again, and turned to everyone in the room.

'Saito and Takeda will deal with the captured ronin. We'll search the 4th and 3rd street.'

'Be prepared. We might have to move out soon.' He said curtly, getting up from his position and stormed out of the hall again. Takara watched as Hijikata-san came in, and left almost as soon as he arrived.

Not only was he angry, he was awfully upset.

Souji immediately got up and left as well, going after the vice commander. The rest of the men murmured silently to each other in reference to Hijikata's words. They knew the time was near. It was all coming down to the final battle with the Choshu.

-

'Hijikata-san!'

The soft and sad voice called out to him, but he kept on walking, his footsteps quickening in pace and getting heavier with each step.

'Hijikata-san!'

He heard it again, but chose to ignore the person who followed behind him, trying desperately to catch up with him. He was avoiding the sick churning feeling he felt inside, weighing down upon his chest. Failure. He told himself. It was the feeling of failure that made him feel horrid inside. He hated the fact that they had not succeeded.

The footsteps behind him came to a halt and the figure stood still, waiting for him to stop.

The vice-commader finally slowed down his steps and stopped walking. He refused to turn round to face the first unit captain that stood behind him, and remained in the same position, his back facing the younger man.

'Souji..' He started. We're going to drag that Masuya bastard out. So prepare yourself for the attack. Everything is prepared. Once i send Takara out to get the last bit of informa-'

'Hijikata-san!' The voice came out stronger this time.

The vice commander kept silent.

'It's.. It's not your fault.'

Souji's voice rang in Hijikata's head, as if the captain had read his innermost thoughts. Suddenly Hijikata realised that it wasn't the pain of failure.

It was the pain of guilt.

He lashed out at the nearest pillar, his fist swung against it, sending the vibrations throughout almost the whole building.

-

There was a soft 'plunk' against the roof.

Susumu looked up to see the tip of a ladder resting against the rooftop. Then there was the sound of someone grunting as that person climbed the ladder, before there was finally the sight of flaming orange hair.

Susumu bent down his head again and buried his face in his hands. Just what he needed. .

Tetsunosuke climbed on the roof, and balanced himself before walking over to the shinobi.

'Don't come.' He said coldly.

The page stopped in his tracks. There was silence and soon Susumu thought he had left, closing his eyes.

Suddenly, he felt someone sit down behind him, the other person's back leaning against his own. His eyes immediately darted open in surprise, and he saw that Tetsunosuke had not left.

Susumu half looked up and gave a painful smirk.

'Did the puppy come to laugh at the whipped dog? Or did he just come to observe my pathetic state?'

Tetsunosuke remained silent, ignoring the shinobi's comment.

'That day,' the page suddenly said, 'I had alot of stuff on my mind so I didn't finish my dinner. Let's see... We had grilled fish, boiled and seasoned food.. I didn't eat all of it.'

'I didn't eat all of..' Tetsunosuke continued, 'Ayu-nee's last meal. AND I didn't eat it when while it was hot...'

'I'm sorry Ayu-nee.. I'm sorry..' The page began to sob.

'Don't apologise.' Susumu finally said, trying to stop the puppy's sobs.

'...I'm sorry..sorry..'

'Quit apologising! You're so damn annoying...'

'I'm sorry...' The page brawled on.

Susumu sighed in exasperation and closed his eyes. After a while, Tetsunosuke finally got a hold of himself and dried his tears, controlling his sobs and quieting down.

This time, it was the shinobi who started talking. 'I.. need to apologise too.

She sacrificed herself, in order for me to become a full-fledged ninja.'

Susumu gave a cold laugh. 'What was I thinking? Running after her like that?

If I'd gotten killed like that, wouldn't it all be wasted?

Dammit... So what if I'm told now, I don't qualify as a ninja, I don't qualify as a brother...'

I feel like an idiot. And I'm pissed.

So pissed that it hurts..'

'That's not anger.' Tetsunosuke finally said, 'It's called sorrow.'

The page felt the older boy's shoulder begin to tremble, as Susumu covered his face, tears now flowing freely down. He bit his lip hard, trying to stop the tears, but they refused to stop.

'Not once..' The shinobi sobbed, gripping tightly onto the tile of the roof, as if wanting to break it, 'Not once did I call her sister...'

His hand grew white as they grasped hard at the tile. Tetsunosuke placed his small hand over that of Susumu's, and found it held in a tight grip. Susumu gripped tightly, crushing Tetsunosuke's knuckles in fury, crying tears that were kept inside for too long.

Tetsunosuke looked up at the older boy.

_I'll bear the pain, until the crying behind me stops._

-

'You'll be sent to undercovre to Shimabara tomorrow, for a day or two, until you obtain the information we need.'

'Shimabara? But Hijikata-san! I can't-'

'I'm asking you to simply get information. You don't have to sleep with them unless it's the only way you can get it out of them.'

'But fukuch-'

'Are you implying that you're incapable of such a simple task? We won't make the same mistake of sending you right into Masuya, Takara. But Shimabara is sure to have frequent visitors from Masuya, and we need you to confirm that most of the ronin are hidden in Masuya, instead of raiding the place and causing an uneccesary commotion only to find that we've made a mistake. And the fact that they haven't seen you before, plays to our advantage.'

Takara remained silent as she sat opposite the vice-commander in his room. The vice-commander was in a bad mood, his patience wearing thin.

'Takara..' Hijikata said, breathing out a mouthful of smoke. 'Have you forgotten the reason why I agreed to let you stay in the Shinsengumi?'

She bowed her head down avoiding his gaze.

'Because you're trained enough to be a kunoichi..' He continued, 'Do you think that if you were not capable of being a watcher, I would have let you stay?'

'No Sir.'

'That's right. And so I expect you to live up to your expectations. I will tell Yamazaki about it and he will be sent to keep an eye on you. You are dismissed.'

'Yes Sir.'

Takara got up and left without any furthur arguments. The vice-commander's tone had been harsh, probably affected by the death of Ayu-nee. He had called her after the funeral rite to his room, and told her of her new assignment.

She detested it.

Shimabara, was a red-light district, and the fact she was sent undercover there, to work as one of the women there, it made her sink lower than she ever could. But what could she say? There was no other woman left in the Shinsegumi, now that Ayu-nee was.. dead.

As she walked with her shoulders slumped and her head tilted down, upset with her mission, and almost bumped into Yamazaki.

'Sorry..' She muttered. 'Anyway, the vice-commander wants to see you.'

He nodded in silence. Although he still seemed distant and cold, he looked like he felt much better, probably thanks to a miracle called Tetsunosuke.

Takara was walking off when he suddenly grabbed her wrist lightly and held her back. She was rather suprised by his actions, as it was out of his nature. The only time he would do that, was probably when he was angry enough to bash her up.

Instead, this time, he walked up to her and looked straight down into her eyes. Susumu never bothered to look her in the eye as he had always disrespected her, that she was unworthy. But this time, Takara felt intimidated when she actually made eye contact with him. It wasn't that he was glaring at her or anything, but she had never looked deep into his eyes, the way she did when she tried to read what people were thinking of feeling.

'About just now,.' He said, hestitating slightly, 'Thanks.'

Then he let go of her wrist and walked off to the vice-commander's room. Takara stood still for a moment and blinked. She could swear her eyes and her ears were playing tricks on her.

But it did feel good, to hear something good come out from him, to her.

That guy was finally opening up.


	11. Shimabara

Shimabara.

That was it alright. The simple but large building, reeking of sake and the fragrance of the women.

Takara pulled uncomfortably at the kimono that hugged her body. Her footsteps were restraint to small steps by the tight frame of the kimono.

This time there was no more Shinsengumi uniform to hide her. No more katana or wakizashi hanging loosely at her waist for defence.

And how bare and vulnerable she felt at that moment.

Takara walked slowly up to the young girl that sat near the entrance. The girl looked up and her eyes widened in surprise. She had expected it to be another man, one of the customers. Instead, a young woman stood before her. This was Shimabara. What was a woman doing here?

Takara lowered her head in respect and began in a meek voice.

'Excuse me miss, I'm sorry, but I've just arrived and I need to find a way to support myself for a few days...' Takara's voice drifted off.

The girl nodded in understanding. That was the only reason why women turned up at the doors of Shimabara anyway. She studied Takara's features carefully, noticing that Takara was probably around the same age as she was anyway. The brown hair that was tied up in a neat bun, the fringe pinned to keep from falling in front of her face, the deep eyes and the smooth complexion, it was perfect for the job. With a little work done on her, Takara was sure to be a hit with the men. They would come swarming, hoping to be the first to be _the one. _

Without ever realising that beyond the pretty face, was something much darker and ominous.

_Shinobi. _

That's what her job was anyway. Identities were a sin.

'Please come this way. I'll see if you can start right away...' The girl looked at Takara expectedly, unsure of what to call her.

'Takahashi Nyoko.'

'Takahashi-san.' The girl continued, leading Takara up a stairway.

Takara followed obediently, walking through the corridor. She looked at the doors she passed, barely making out faint outlines of the silhouettes of women entertaining the men. There were many of them, and she could hear the coarse language of them, laughing drunkenly as they watched the women.

So many men. Yet all Takara needed was one of them, to slip on information about the Choshuu at Masuya, and her job would be done.

And she would be able to leave this place. Leave the desperation that clung on to the women here like mould.

The Shoji slid open and Takara stepped into a small room, decorated with shelves of accessories. An elderly woman sat in the middle of the room, pinning up a younger girl's hair with a beautiful flowery pin. The elderly woman looked up questionably at them as they entered.

'What's the matter Akina-chan?' Then she looked up at Takara. 'Who is this?'

Akina bowed her head in respect and Takara followed suit.

'Her name is Takahashi Nyoko, Uma-san. She has come to offer her services as well.'

Uma finished doing up the hair of the other girl. 'There all done Hana-chan. Akesato-san will be waiting for you.' She told her, motioning for her to go off to her duties.

Hana answered cheerfully and walked out of the room, smiling at Takara as she walked out. It was like a 'Welcome' smile, which made Takara shift uncomfortably. She didn't belong with them.

Uma looked back up at Takara and closed her eyes. 'Nyoko is it?' The older woman gave a sad sigh. 'I see beautiful girls like you come to Shimabara everyday, to work as a geisha. Why you have come, the reasons may differ. But ultimately, you must understand that as a geisha, you will never be accepted as any man's one woman. They only see you as toys, as a form of recreation and nothing more.'

Takara looked straight back into the woman's eyes. She felt sympathy, sympathy for the women who had to work there.

_If you only knew. I am nothing like you._

''I understand.' Takara answered. 'When can I start work, Uma-san?'

'Can you play the shamisen?'

Takara shook her head. She was clueless on how to play that musical instrument. The only instruments her hands had touched, were that of death.

'I see.' Uma said thoughtfully, 'Then you will only be able to serve drinks for now, or give the men what they ask of you.'

Takara flinched at her statement.

'Akina-chan will show you your room. You may place your belongings there, then come back to me to get your make-up and your hair done. Then we will see how educated you are on your etiquette and the necessary procedures you need to know.'

Akina led Takara to her room. It was a simple and relatively large, with Shoji windows that were easy to slide open. Her room was on the higher floor, and she noticed that the windows were not barred like those on the bottom floored. That made getting in or out much easier to do.

'This will be your room for now Takahashi-san. I hope you will feel welcomed here, even though the job isn't exactly the best... But at least the women who work here are all like sisters.' Akina smiled.

'Thanks..' Takara replied, forcing another smile. The longer she spent at Shimabara, the more she felt awful for the women and girls there. After all, she was only going to be there a few days, but the girls here, they worked for a lifetime.

_Hijikata-san had better appreciate what I'm doing for him._

-

Uma had taught Takara all she needed to know. It was simple really. The basic etiquette.

Bow your head low when you enter, keep your movements graceful, smile all the time, cover your mouth with the sleeve of your kimono when you laugh, make sure the sake is poured properly without any spills,

and most importantly, ensure that the men get what they paid for.

Uma did Takara's hair and face carefully, making her look as exquisite as possible. The make-up was thick, like a mask, but nevertheless made her look beautiful like a geisha should. The accessories dangled from the pins and clips in her hair, with every movement of her head. The kimono, covered with elaborate patterns and designs, were bright and attractive.

And when Takara looked into the mirror, she could hardly believe what she saw.

Uma had done wonders, and it was almost like a perfect disguise. She was beyond recognition, even to herself.

The older woman braced Takara's shoulders. 'Are you ready Nyoko?'

Without really waiting for a response, Uma led the young girl out of the room to one of the main rooms. Two other geishas were already there, dressed and made up. An woman in her 20's knelt in front, with a younger girl about 15 behind her.

'Akesato, I have brought the new girl to serve with Hana.' Uma said, addressing the woman.

Akesato turned back to give Takara a small nod, and motioned her to sit behind in line with Hana. Takara did so obediently, and knelt beside Hana.

'Nyoko, I hope you will do your best to serve these men. They are important customers to us.' Akesato said to Takara in a gentle voice.

'I will, Akesato-san.' Takara replied. She got a good look at Akesato, and noticed that even through the light brown fringe that covered both sides of her faces, shone a pair of bright blue eyes.

'I'm glad Nyoko. These are highly respected Samurai, from the Shinsengumi.'

Takara immediately was taken back. 'The Shinsengumi?' She exclaimed in slight panic. What if one of them recognized her? Hijikata had strictly given her orders not to reveal her mission to anyone. Instead, he had told them that she was off on some errand for the emperor.

That man was a full-scale liar.

Before Takara had time to react any further, the Shoji in front of them slid open, forcing Takara to bow her head down as instructed.

'Yamanami-san, we are pleased to serve you this afternoon.' Akesato's voice rang sweetly through the room.

Takara's heart gave a lurch as she looked up and saw two very _very_ familiar men. The 2nd vice commander and the 8th unit captain sat casually in front of them.

_Heisuke!_

Takara gave herself a mental kick. How could she have forgotten? Heisuke was probably one of the most frequent visitors to Shimabara, along with Yamanami-san.

Her heart raced in anxiety as she watched Heisuke's eyes gaze from Hana to her, and watched his expression as he raised an eyebrow.

'You're new aren't you?' He said in a friendly voice to her.

'Yes.' Takara replied, trying not to look him in the eye. Apparently, Heisuke didn't have a clue who she was.

'Any sake for you, Todou-san?' Hana approached him, with a bottle of sake. Heisuke broke his gaze at Takara and looked down at the young and vibrant girl before him.

'That would be fine.' Heisuke replied with a smile, making Hana blush slightly.

-

Takara's job was simple enough. She took turns with Hana to refill the cups for Yamanami and Heisuke. The rest of the time, Heisuke, Yamanami and Akesato engaged in casual conversations, like old friends.

After a while, Heisuke got up and said to the other two, 'Yamanami-san, I think I'll leave the both of you to have some private time.'

The 2nd vice-commander grinned. 'Are you sure Heisuke?'

Heisuke laughed. 'Sure sure. I know you want to.' He picked up his katana and walked out of the room, giving a short wave on his way out.

Hana signaled to Takara to leave as well, and the both of them got up, clearing the cups and sake bottles as they left.

They had placed the things in the kitchen and were on their way to their room, when Takara was pulled roughly by a coarse hand, belonging to a middle-aged man, whom Takara guessed was a ronin.

'You're a new face..' He said loudly, pulling Takara towards him. He was red in the face, and his breath reeked of sake. The man was obviously drunk and staggered in an unstable manner, needing to even grip the door frame to steady himself.

Takara's instinct was to punch that man square in the jaw, but she knew that would raise suspicions. She tried to pry herself loose from the man's grip but his fingers were clamped tightly around her arm, and she could feel the blood stop circulating.

'I'm sorry sir, but please let me go.' She said as politely as possible, struggling to break free of his grasps.

'I don't think so.' The man bellowed loudly, laughing and pulling Takara into one of the nearby rooms. 'Do you think I'd pass up a chance like this? A woman like you is a rare chance to get. Either they're too young, or they've already been taken. But you.. Hah! It's a perfect opportunity for me.'

Takara stared horrified and revolted by the uncouth man. God. How she wished she could slit his throat there and then.

'Let Nyoko go!' Hana yelled angrily at the man, trying to pry his fingers loose as well.

'Hana!' Takara said to the younger girl, 'It's alright.. Don't get yourself into any trouble.' She didn't want the ronin to beat the young girl up in a drunken rage.

Just as the ronin was about to pull Takara into one of the rooms, the Shoji slid shut in his face.

'Huh?'

Another man stood beside the doorway, holding the end of the Shoji shut.

'I don't think you're going anywhere with that girl.' He said in a serious tone. The voice was familiar, and Takara looked up to see that it belonged to Heisuke.A wave of relief rushed over her.

'Who do you think you are? This one's mine.' The ronin said, yanking Takara by her arm towards him.

'I'm afraid not. She's already taken.' Heisuke answered, staring darkly into the ronin's eyes.

It might have been the confidence that Heisuke exerted, or the sight of a katana hanging at the captain's waist, that intimidated the ronin to let go of Takara.

'Oh really?' The ronin stuttered slightly, trying to put on a brave front.

'Yea. And I'd advise you to leave if you don't want to get yourself into trouble.' Heisuke answered, taking a hold of Takara by her hand and leading her into the room.

'So make yourself scarce.' he added, before sliding the Shoji shut, in the ronin's face once again.

Takara could hear the ronin mutter a string of profanities as he walked off into the distance, furious, yet afraid of the young man who stood up to him.

Takara knelt down immediately and bowed to the man in front of her.

'Thank You, H.. Todou-san.' She said, correcting herself when she realised her mistake.

Heisuke sat down and waved his arms frantically. 'No no, there's no need for that. I was just doing what's I ought to do.' He said sheepishly.

'I am still grateful to you Todou-san.'

'Really, you don't have to be.' He repeated. Placing his arms casually behind his back as he leaned against the wall, he began casually, 'So.. What's your name?'

Takara was trying her best to control herself from laughing. Here they were, close friends yet strangers.

'Takahasi Nyoko.'

'Nyoko.. I see. First time?'

'Yes.'

'You'd better be careful. Since it's your first time, and the men around here, well they can be pretty rough.'

Takara gave a small laugh, and immediately covered her mouth with the sleeve of her kimono, remembering what she had been taught. 'Like you, Todou-san?'

'Eh no.. I'm not like that. I'm only saying that because you're such an attractive young lady..'

There Heisuke went, going along with his flirting tactics. He gave a short yawn and ran his fingers through his hair.

'You must be tired Todou-san.' She said politely.

'A little.'

'Would you like to lie down?' Takara asked, according to what Uma had told her, even though she didn't want to.

Heisuke looked at her and raised an eyebrow. 'Uhh..' He said unsure, 'If you insist I guess.'

He stretched his arms and lay his head down on her soft lap. Strange. He wasn't even supposed to be with this girl in the first place. But he was afraid that she might have gotten offended if he turned her down.

The two of them stayed in their position in silence. Heisuke felt awkward at first, but soon found her lap to be rather comfortable and slowly couldn't help but drift off to sleep. Takara felt awfully uncomfortable in the beginning as well, but grew accustomed to the warmth of his body on her legs.

When she noticed he had fallen asleep, Takara couldn't help but give a small smile.

_Older brother._

That was what Heisuke reminded her of. An elder brother. She never had one, but Heisuke was like one to her. He was always the one there for her, playing a fool and joking around, making her cringe in embarrassment everytime he teased her for being a pretty girl. But still, she was comfortable to be around him.

She stared at his calm and serene face as he slept and suddenly remembered the little pocket knife in his kimono. If there was a best time to try to grab it, now would be it.

'_Would I dare?' _Takara thought to herself, remembering what happened the last time.

She pondered for a while, before deciding to take the risk.

Her hands crept slowly into his kimono, but in a split second, Heisuke was up and had grabbed her wrist, pinning her against the wall.

_Shit._

His hand snapped the pocket knife out and held it against her throat.

Takara found herself caught in the same position she had been a few days ago. The same cold blade, the same body warmth. But this time, she knew that he wouldn't hesitate to slit her neck.

'Who are you? You're working for a spy for the Choshuu aren't you?'

'Heisuke! Let me go!' Takara yelled, struggling to inch away from the blade as much as possible, but to no avail. So much for the calm and sweet geisha she was supposed to be.

'...Takara?' Heisuke's eyes widened as he staggered back in surprise and disbelief. Suddenly the voice, the brown hair and brown eyes began to look all so familiar to him. 'What.. What the hell are you doing here?' He finally managed to stutter out, convinced he was probably in some bad dream.

Takara slid down with her back against the wall, breathing heavily from the previous shock.

'Asshole.' She muttered, feeling sick in the stomach. Once again, she'd nearly gotten herself killed, and stupidly screwed up her mission. Part of it at least.

Heisuke sighed in exasperation. It was Takara alright.

'Dammit! You nearly got yourself fucking killed.' He said angrily at her foolishness. 'What are you doing here anyway?'

'I'm working undercover.' Takara said bitterly in a low voice. 'Hijikata sent me to get last bits of information. And you're not supposed to know.'

'...What the..'

Heisuke covered his face and massaged his temples, trying to calm himself down.

'Promise you won't tell?'

'You just scared three years out of my life.'

'Heisuke! You won't tell right?'

'Don't worry.' He assured her, 'I won't tell anyone.'

'Thanks. I owe you one.'

'You sure do.' He gave a slight chuckle. 'Anyway, I would never have guessed it was you.'

'Really?'

'Yea. You don't look like yourself.'

'The make-up does wonders.'

'Does it?'

'I can hardly recognise myself either.'

'You should dress like that more often.'

'What?'

'Then we wouldn't have to come all the way to Shimabara to see beautiful women..'

'Very funny.' She said, rolling her eyes.

Heisuke smirked and reached out to touch Takara's hair.

Takara's breath caught short in her throat, as Heisuke inched his face closer to hers. 'What are yo-'

'You're beautiful Takara..'

He was now staring deep into her eyes and she felt her heart race again. Her mouth opened but suddenly this time the words refused to come out.

_No.. This isn't right.._

'And I'd gladly go for you, anytime.' This time, she could feel his warm breath on her face, and their noses were almost touching.

She closed her eyes shut tight, waiting for him to close up the distance between them. Her mind was already racing, but her body seemed like it was paralyzed. She stayed still, unable to say a word or push him away. This situation was worse than any other. At that moment, she wondered if she'd rather be ambushed by the Choshuu..

His warm hand cupped her cheek gently his forehead touching hers. She expected it, anytime soon.. And then...

'But you're not my type.'

Takara's eyes fluttered open and she saw that Heisuke had pulled away, giving her a comfortable distance to start breathing again. She saw him grinning from ear to ear, as he leaned back watching her every expression.

'You.. Idiot!' Takara finally managed to say, still trying to catch her breath.

'Scared out of your wits weren't you?'

'Yes! And I hope you're happy now.' She said indignantly. She wasn't sure if her heart could take anymore shocks.

'Don't worry Takara,' Heisuke said casually, 'You know I'd never do that to you. We're just not very compatible. And besides, I know what kind of guys you go for.' he laughed.

'Wha..at?' Takara exclaimed, 'Stop spouting nonsense Heisuke.'

'I'm serious. Hmmm.. Let's see. You'd go for a guy like...'

'Like?'

'Like Susumu.'

'Heisuke!' Takara's face flushed at the young man's statement. 'That's not true!'

'If you say so.'

Irritated, Takara crossed her arms and turned away from Heisuke.

'I don't know whatever gave you that crazy idea.'

'Wild guess?'

'Forget them. You shouldn't even be bothered with matters like these.' She paused for a while. 'Shouldn't you be going anyway?' She said with her back to him.

'I guess so.' He said, getting up and adjusting his kimono. 'Well, come on then.'

Heisuke extended a hand to Takara. She hesitated for a moment but finally took it. He pulled her up and as they walked out of the room, Takara saw Hana running up to her.

'Nyoko-san!' Then she saw Heisuke, who was standing beside Takara.

Hana's face immediately turned beet red and she became flustered. 'Todou-san! Thank.. Thank You for saving Nyoko-san.'

Heisuke waved it off with a smile, 'It's no problem.' he said, 'Anyway I've got to be going.'

Both geishas gave a polite bow as the young man walked off.

When Heisuke was out of sight, Hana immediately turned to Takara and squealed in an excited voice.

'Nyoko-san! How lucky you are! So did he do anything to you?'

'What!' Takara said aloud, taken aback by the younger girl's, straightforward statement. 'Don't be silly Hana-chan. We didn't do anything at all...'

Hana tilted her head to a side, and looked up at Takara, her eyes shining.

'You really are amazing. How you can resist the gallant Todou-sama, I truly respect you Nyoko-san!'

'... gallant...?..' Takara found herself at a loss for words to answer the young Heisuke admirer. She was trying her best not to burst out in hysterical laughter.

_Sigh. If only you knew how that man really is like, Hana-chan._

But for now, Takara decided not to say anything more.

-

Akesato stood at the doorway, waving longingly to the vice-captain who was taking his leave.

'Come back soon, Yamanami-san.' She said with a sad smile.

Takara stood beside her, watching him leave. Apparently the 2nd vice-commander hadn't noticed anything amiss at all. He was too engrossed in his woman anyway. He never looked so happy back at the headquarters, and Takara was pleased to see that he was at least able to enjoy himself in Shimabara.

'You really like him, don't you Akesato-san?'

Akesato turned round to face Takara and gave a light chuckle. 'Even so, what can I do about it? Would a man like him want to take a woman like me? From this place?'

Takara wanted to say 'yes' but decided against it. She looked back at the older woman and took note of her pretty features properly this time. Her blueish eyes contrasted greatly with her hair, as if they didn't belong together. There was something that was awfully striking about those blue eyes, but Takara could not figure out where she had seem them before.

'It's late Nyoko-san,' She continued, leading Takara inside. 'We should get some rest. Tomorrow will be another long day.'

Takara nodded in return, walking back to her room. There were still many men left in Shimabara, but none of them mentioned anything about the Choshuu or Masuya. Even if they did, they were careful not to let anyone overhear them. She was left completely empty-handed, with no information of any sort.

_I only hope I'll have more luck tomorrow._


	12. Yamazaki Susumu

That morning, Takara was woken up by the sunlight streaming through the half-open shoji window. She slowly got up and rubbed her eyes, expecting to see the scene of her own room back at the Shinsengumi.

Unfortunately, she was met with an unfamiliar scene of a small and rather empty room.

Her eyes shot fully open in alert and her senses immediately warned her to be wary of the unfamiliar surroundings. It took awhile before reality finally sank in and Takara remembered she was in Shimabara.

She gave a sigh and closed her eyes again, running her fingers trying to untangle her hair.

Just at that moment, she heard a soft shuffling of feet outside the shoji door.

'Takahashi-san? Are you awake?'

A soft voice called from outside the room. Takara assumed it was Akina.

'Yes.. I am. What's the matter?' Takara answered, getting up and walking towards the mirror nearby.

'We have to go down to prepare for work. Uma-san is ready to do our make-up and hair. Saya has prepared breakfast for us if you're hungry.'

'Alright. Thanks. I'll be down in a minute.' Takara called back, giving her hair a quick brush before she went down.

She stared back at her reflection and the mirror and found herself longing to be back at the Shinsengumi. She missed her katana, her haori, and everyone else back at the headquarters.

_Today. _Takara thought to herself, _Today's the day when I get the information I need. And then I'll be able to leave by tomorrow morning._

_-_

Takara let out a huge sigh and leaned against the wall, the teacups on the tray almost slipping off when she slumped back.

It was almost evening and the day had passed by in a blur. The entire day, she had spent it serving tea, sake, asking the same darned question over and over again. Her face felt like it was frozen with that sick smile she gave everytime she poured the men drinks.

Honestly, who knew serving in Shimabara would be so much more tiring than training back at the Shinsengumi?

It was standing up, and kneeling down again, back and forth just to pour them tea or sake. The customers that day were plentiful, and there were so many to be served that Takara forgot completely about her mission. She would have missed anything about the Choshuu even if it was said right in front of her face. After all, the only thing on her mind was how long the bottle of sake or pot of tea was going to last before she had to rush off to get another one.

After a whole day of bustling about, it was definitely a relief to hear Akesato tell her to take a break.

Balancing the cups on the tray again, Takara took a slow leisurely stroll to the kitchen to put the things down. Just as she turned the corner, two men bumped into her, causing her to drop the cups on the straw-matted floor.

However, the impact was great enough to cause the fragile china cups to break into fragments with a muffled "clang".

"I'm sorry!' Takara exclaimed, bowing her head profusely in mock apology. _Bastard. Watch it._

'Watch where you're going woman!' The taller man said, obviously drunk. He lashed out at her in a fit of anger, swinging his fist angrily at her. 'You could've cut us with those pieces of broken gla-'

'Forget her. Let's go.' The other man quickly cut off his friend, completely ignoring Takara.

'What? Let her get away with this?' The drunkard said, looking as if he were about to strangle the girl who stood before him.

Takara looked back up at him and arched an eyebrow. The last time she remembered, he was the one who bumped into her, as he was too drunk to see where he was going. That man was getting under her skin.

'Come on..' The shorter man urged, getting irritated with his companion. 'We've got to head back to Masuya quickly.'

The taller man gave a snort and turned away reluctantly, refusing to tear his cold gaze away from Takara initially, before he followed his friend down the corridor.

'Masuya?' Takara echoed under her breath, her eyes widening in alert. Ironically, these were exactly the men she was looking for. Quickly bending down to pick up the broken china, she pretended to be preoccupied with cleaning up, but strained her ears to listen to them as they walked off.

'Furutaka said that Yoshida sensei's got the plans laid out for the Choshuu, so we've gotta get back in time.'

For goodness sake. That guy was asking to be stabbed.

For a moment, Takara could hardly believe her ears. That man had foolishly given himself away as a Choshuu member. To think it turned out to be all so simple. Takara had to admit, she had expected to overhear one of the men's conversations when they spoke in low whispers, or sit on the windowsills of one of the rooms, spying on a group of men discussing the Choshuu plans in the midst of the night. Or perhaps trail these men who dropped a hint about Masuya.

Not for him to just say it to her face. How disappointing. There went the thrill in her assignment. Personally, she had hoped to hand in a report full of exciting information and the risks she had taken just for Hijikata-san. Maybe he'd show his gratitude for once.

_Oh well._ She gave a shrug. _At least I'll be able to head back first thing tomorrow morning._

_-_

The pins were pulled out one by one slowly, each releasing a lock of brown hair to fall freely down. The tight bun which her hair had been pulled into, now left her scalp slightly sore and her head felt so much lighter when the highly ornamented pins were finally taken off.

Takara sat cross-legged in the middle of her room, the flickering of the candle sending soft shadows on the walls. The silence was deathly, yet calm, only the crackling of the candle flame in the lantern and the sound of crickets in the night.

The sky too was cloudless, only the full moon shone brightly by its lone self. The air was still.

So still, that when there was a soft scraping wall on the walls of Shimabara, it immediately caught Takara's attention.

She got up quickly, and peered out of the window, sliding her shoji fully open to get a full view. There was no mistake. A shadow crept quickly but gently, scaling up the wall and onto the roof. The figure was slender and no doubt that of a woman.

_A kunoichi._

And this kunoichi was from Shimabara. If the kunoichi was working for the Choshu, following her would definitely lead to their hideout.

On impulse, Takara leapt silently out of her own window and grabbed the nearest wooden pillar, scaling it and landing gently on the ground below. Hijikata-san had warned her, or rather, he had specifically _ordered_ her NOT to leave the building. Apparently, Susumu was to handle the spying. However, Takara hadn't seen the shinobi ever since she arrived, and she doubted he was anywhere nearby at the moment.

The kunoichi was leaping quickly from one roof to another, making it hard for Takara to keep up with her. Takara kept in the shadows, straining her neck to keep an eye on the kunoichi, at the same time making sure she wasn't being followed herself.

The allys were winding and there were a large number of obstacles in her path. It was almost impossible to keep up with the kunoichi, who was conveniently leaping from one roof to another. Making a sharp turn behind one of the houses, Takara looked up, only to see an empty rooftop with the clear backdrop of the night sky.

_Damn it. I've lost her._

Scanning the rooftops quickly, it was to no avail. By now, the kunoichi had been long gone. Takara let out a frustrated huff as she kicked the ground with her sandal.

All that running gone to waste, and now she wasn't even sure how to get back to Shimabara.

_This is going to take a while. _She sighed, trying to retrace her steps.

A soft rustling of movements nearby alerted Takara's senses. Her eyes darted up, taking note of her surroundings. Her eyes told her that there was no one around, but her other senses told her a different story.

Tugging at her kimono nervously, she continued walking back, trying diminish her unnecessary fear.

Just then, there was a soft clinking of metal, like that of a katana. Takara spun around startled, but before she could run or yell, a rough hand covered her mouth and an arm wrapped around her neck, strangling her and lifting her off her feet.

Instinctively, she reached for the katana that usually hung around her waist, but found this time there was none. There were no shuriken hidden in her kimono either and Takara felt the panic began to rise in her.

_Think Takara! You're going to get raped for goodness sake._

She pulled her body weight forward, getting her feet back on the floor. Her fingers grasped desperately at the big arm that clamped around her neck. Struggling slightly, she tried to use her momentum to flip backwards over her attacker. Her feet kicked off from the floor, and her body flipped back. The move stunned her attacker, who released his grip slightly.

Taking the opportunity, she pulled his arm away from her neck and landed behind him, panting slightly as she felt her throat throbbing with pain.

'You could have chosen the easy way out, foolish woman. We would've spared your life.'

It wasn't until now that Takara realised how much trouble she was in. There were four of them standing around her, and they were well armed, while she, was left defenseless. They were well-built men, their faces contorted in anger with her for breaking free.

In a split second, they had drawn their katana and were lunging at her. Takara dodged the first attack unsteadily, and tried to run away, only to find her wrist grappled by the second man, who yanked her back. She bent down, swinging a kick from the back of his knees. As expected, he lost his balance and fell backward, pulling her down with him. Takara sprang up immediately, .but the first one lunged at her a second time, and this time his katana would have hit its target if she hadn't moved her head. Takara could feel the wind as the the blade stabbed deep into the wooden wall, sending splinters flying out. Launching out her right fist, it made contact with the man's nose and he staggered back giving a painful cry, swinging his katana blindly at her. She made a desperate attempt to run away, her feet pulling her as quickly as possible.

However, her route was blocked by the other two men, the katanas unsheathed and pointed at her. Takara's shoulders slumped in defeat but her gaze remained strong at them, glaring in anger.

_This is it. _She thought. She had come close to death before, sure, but at those moments, she always had a plan to eliminate her opponent. This time, she was cornered on all sides, and there was no way she could fight back, or even escape.

She looked on, and watched, awaiting her death. Watched as the one on the right lunged forward at her. He raised his sword, preparing to slice her in half from head to toe. He ran two steps forward, and gave a gurgled cry as he stumbled to the ground, his katana falling a mere few inches in front of Takara, but slicing nothing but the air.

The other man on the left fell face first to the ground, just like his companion a few seconds later. Takara stood stunned, unsure of what had happened. She noticed two Shuriken's standing half out of both men's neck.

This time, a dark figure landed in front of her silently. As the person in front of her stood upright, she recognised his face as the moon cast a soft light on his face.

'Susumu..!' Takara exclaimed, extremely relieved. She was glad that she was saved, even if it were by him.

The older boy didn't reply, but drew his katana, just as another one clashed with his. There were still two men alive, and they weren't showing any mercy to the shinobi who had just attacked their companions.

Susumu drew back, leaping away from the man's attack. He drew another shuriken from his uniform and flung it swiftly at the enraged man. It caught him in the face, cutting into his right eye. The man screamed and dropped his katana, his hands covering his face as the blood flowed down his face. Takara quickly picked up the katana he dropped and stabbed him in the stomach. The man fell to the floor in pain but in silence.

Susumu looked up at her and shook his head, unaware of another ominous figure that rose behind him. 'Didn't Hijikata-san tell you to-'

'Behind you!' Takara yelled as she saw the gleam of the katana come down at the shinobi.

Susumu leapt aside, but not in time to completely avoid the attack. The katana sliced a small cut on his back, near the shoulder blade. As the man staggered forward with the momentum of his katana, Susumu took his own sword and stabbed the man quickly from the back.

Takara ran up to Susumu quickly, stepping over the bodies of the men which lay on the floor.

'Are you alright?' She asked, reaching to check his wound.

'It's nothing. Just a scratch.' He said, brushing the matter off as if it was nothing. 'Aren't you supposed to be back in Shimabara? The vice-commander strictly told you not to leave.' He said immediately, staring hard at her.

Takara lowered her head guiltily, but protested, 'I saw a kunoichi leav-'

'I know. I've been keeping an eye on you.' He cut her off, sheathing his katana.

'You have?' She asked curiously, 'But I didn't see you at all.'

'Obviously you didn't. Would I be a shinobi if you did?'

Takara merely rolled her eyes at his comment. She began to make her way back to Shimabara, but turned round to face the shinobi when he remained in his place.

'Aren't you coming? You need to get that wound of yours treated.'

'I don't need it.'

'Hijikata-san always said to get wounds treated. Or you'll get gangrene.'

'I'll do it myself.' He argued, refusing to let up.

'Susumu,' Takara sighed, slightly frustrated, 'You're going to make it worse trying to even _reach_ for the wound in your back, and I know you'll be to proud to ask for help from anyone. Come on. Let's go.'

He gave a short 'hmph' before hesitantly following behind the younger girl, trying not to wince as the pain of the wound stung on his back.

-

Back at her room in Shimabara, Takara had manage to retrieve a pail of water and a bottle of medicine from the kitchen downstairs. Susumu sat upright and silently in the middle of the room, the top of his uniform slid off to reveal his upper body.

Taking her own bloodstained kimono off, she soaked it in the pail together with Susumu's uniform, leaving her still clad in her nagajuban. Seating herself behind him, she took the bottle of medicine and poured it on his wound, before picking up a piece of dry cloth to clean the excess medicine and blood off.

As she pulled the bandages tightly around his wound, she felt his shoulders tense up when her arms went around his body to pull the bandages. Not that Takara herself felt very comfortable either.

They had taken all precautions to avoid suspicion. The shoji windows were slid completely shut, as with the door. The lantern sat in a far corner of the room, causing the room to be nothing more than dimly lit. The both of them were as quiet as possible, so as to ensure others would not hear voices or noises from her room.

'So have you gotten what we need?' Susumu finally said, trying not to look down at the girl when she dressed his wounds.

'Yea. They're definitely at Masuya. So I guess we'll be heading out the day after tomorrow.'

'Perfect.' He said, clenching his fist slightly, 'Then we'll be able to crush that Masuya bastard.'

Takara tied the bandages into a tight knot and got up from her position, walking to the pail to wash her hands.

'Ayu-nee...' She said softly, sitting down again this time in front of Susumu, 'Ayu-nee wouldn't like that. I don't think she'd want you to kill him.'

Susumu gave a short snort and looked away. 'You're starting to act like the puppy.'

She replied with a laugh, 'That's only because we're concerned about you.' This caught the shinobi off guard, and his eyes widened in surprise slightly.

'I'll think about it.' he said quickly, trying to change the topic.

'Oh, and about earlier, ummm...' Takara hesitated, unsure of how to phrase her statement. 'Well, could you not include it in your report to Hijikata-san?'

Susumu raised an eyebrow. 'Why not?'

'You know I'll get into trouble.'

'So how are you going to explain four dead bodies?' He questioned her slyly.

'Please?' She sincerely hoped that from the bottom of his emotionless heart he'd at least take pity on her.

Looking up at her, he titled his head to a side and closed his eyes, a smirk forming on the corners of his mouth. 'I guess I'll cover for you this once. Shouldn't there be something else you ought to say anyway?'

Takara breathed out a sigh of relief and made a face. She took in a deep breath this time and looked away. 'Thanksforsavingmylife.'

The older boy's eyes opened slowly and moved his head closer to her, staring a long bored stare at her. 'What'd you say?'

She turned back round to face him, irritated.'Very funny.. You heard me and I'm not going to rep-'

Takara froze when she saw how close the both of them were to each other. It made her heart almost stop when she found herself staring back into Susumu's dark brown eyes, once again. Yet, neither of them moved.

It was hard to describe the shinobi in front of her. He was like a contradiction himself. He smelt fresh, yet still, like the cold night air that would sweep past, the coolness of the air tickling your skin yet making you feel warm inside. The way he looked, like an adult, yet a child at the same time. A subtle vulnerability deep inside, that she had noticed. He was well-built, there was no denying, and he held himself high and confident, matured with experiences. Cold and calloused on the outside, but his eyes told a much different story. Ironically, he was probably the only one out of all of them, who had experienced the most emotions in his life, and still at a younger stage of his life. It was amazing how he managed to conceal it all, to hide it from everyone.

Everytime Takara had gotten into a fix, he had been the one to pick her up, whether both of them liked it or not.

He was like a protector, that was his duty. But Takara knew. She knew that he needed to be protected too, especially now that Ayu-nee was.. gone.

She averted her gaze, her body too paralysed to move. 'Th..Thanks.' She managed to stutter out nervously, only to feel like a complete idiot.

_What's wrong? What're you afraid of anyway? _Takara asked herself, feeling her face starting to get slightly warm.

Instead of a cold reply, she felt his fingers touch her chin lightly, tilting her head upwards and forcing her to look back at him.

There was a quick moment of silence, but it was ended almost immediately, when the both of them closed up the gap that existed between them.

And that was what she was afraid of. Not afraid that it would happen, but afraid that it _wouldn't_. Because even though she refused to acknowledge the fact, she had wanted it to happen.

Never in her wildest dreams had Takara ever imagined she fall for a man, nevertheless someone from the Shinsengumi. She wasn't even allowed to. But Heisuke had been right, and it was funny how he understood Takara so much more than she understood herself.

She placed her hands on Susumu's bare shoulders, while his hand had already found its way to the side of her head, holding it gently while his lips were still touching hers. It wasn't forceful and there were hardly even any movements, even though the want, and the need they both felt was there. Instead, the both of them were relaxed, and they savoured the sweet moment shared for a few moments, before breaking apart and looking back up at each other in slight embarressment.

Takara raised her own hand to where Susumu's hand carressed her face and entwined her fingers in his, resting her head under his chin.

This guy made her awfully confused.

'Susumu..' Takara finally managed to say meekly, her head still buried in his chest, 'This.. This wasn't supposed to happen.'

The older boy ran his fingers through her hair, and closed his eyes as he held her tightly. 'I know.'

'At least we're in Shimabara. So it isn't that bad.' Takara joked, trying to convince herself that it was okay.

'But I don't regret it. Not one bit.'

Pulling Takara up to face him again, he leaned forward until their foreheads and noses were touching. He didn't know why either, but what he did know, was that this was exactly what they wanted.

'And I know you don't either do you?' The shinobi had placed his arm securely around her waist, holding her close to him. Takara could feel the top of her nagajuban sliding down slightly, revealing her own bare shoulders.

'Well, You're not going to include this in your report to Hijikata-san are you?' The younger girl said, looking up at him with a smile.

Susumu gave a soft laugh and closed in with another kiss.


	13. The Masuya Raid

'Thankyou for everything, Uma-san, Hana-chan, Akina-chan, Saya-chan.' Takara said politely, bowing to each of the women one by one.

'Do take care Takahashi-san, we will miss you.' Akina said, pushing a bag of coins towards Takara.

Raising her hands in protest, she turned down the money she had earned the past few days. 'It's alright. Please keep it with you. I merely needed a place to stay for a while, and you have graciously provided me with it, together with your warm hospitality. There is no way I will be able to repay you. Where is Akesato-san? I would like to give her my wishes.'

'Akesato-san sleeps in late. She is often tired in the morning from her late nights, serving customers I believe.' Hana replied, slightly sad that her new sister was leaving so soon.

Late night? There weren't any customers the night before... Akesato must've really worn herself out serving customers in the day.

'I see. Well thank you all very much. I must be on my way then. Take care!' Takara said again, waving her goodbyes as she walked up the road. The other women gave friendly waves as well, wishing her a safe journey, until they could no longer be seen or heard in the distance.

It would just be in a few minutes time. A few minutes more and she'd be home.

-

'OKITA-SAN!' Takara yelled, overjoyed at the sight of the first-unit captain. This time it was her who ran up to the older man and gave him a tight hug.

'I miffefd yoo sfo mufcth' She said into his kimono, refusing to let go of him.

The first unit-captain laughed cheerfully in reply. 'I'm glad you're back Takara! You're always away from the Shisengumi lately.. Hmph. Hijikata-san shouldn't send you on so many missions.' He puffed up his cheeks in mock anger, before bursting out into a light peal of laughter again.

Takara let go of Souji and crossed her arms. 'Where is that man anyway? He didn't even come out of his room to celebrate my return did he? Anyway he should be pleased that we'll be able to head out to Masuya tomorrow.'

'Oh well. The he's probably drowning himself in a room of smoke again. Come on, I think you've got to go see him.' Okita ushered the young girl quickly as they walked to the vice-commander's room.

Occasionally, one or two squad members would give a cheerful greeting when they saw their fourth unit captain had returned from her supposed visit to the Aizu, or the Emperor, or some important meeting she was sent off to of some sort. No one was really sure.

However, Takara noticed that the usually jovial first-unit captain wasn't his bubbly self. Even his pet pig, Saizou, was no where to be seen lying in his arms. She wondered if it was possibly the death of Ayu-nee that he was still saddened about, or something else. It worried her even more, when Okita suddenly stopped short in his tracks and turned away from her. He then began to cough violently, placing his hand over his mouth desperately trying to stop himself.

'Okita-san! Are you alright?' Takara hurried towards him, horrified.

He merely shoo-ed her away, still coughing, his arm wrapped around his waist as if he was in awful pain. It was terrible, and Takara was utterly afraid he was going to cough out his lungs or something.

Okita pulled himself upright, and cleared his throat, wincing slightly in pain.

'Sorry bout that.' He said with an apologetic smile, continuing to walk to the vice-commander's room.

'What was that all about? Are you ill, Okita-san?' Takara asked, concerned.

He gave a small chuckle and waved it off. 'I'm alright! There's nothing to be worried about. It's just the nasty wind, it tends to dry out my throat sometimes.'

Takara looked at him in slight disbelief. She wasn't sure to believe him or not.

As they reached Hijikata's room, Okita slid the door open and Takara stepped in, the scent of pipe smoke evoking her senses immediately. She choked slightly and scrunched up her face. Suddenly cheap perfume seemed like heaven.

'Fukuchou! I'm finally back..' She said happily, only to be met with a dark glare and a mouthful of smoke.

'It's only been two days. And you took long enough.'

So much for a warm welcome. Takara plunked herself down in front of the vice-commander and bowed a quick bow before sitting upright again.

'You may leave Souji.' Hijikata said to the captain who stood by the door. Okita made a face and slid the shoji shut, leaving other two in the room.

'Yamazaki has given me his report, and according to him, you've obtained the information we need. Although it's not up to my standard, at least you managed to complete your job without screwing up.' The vice-commander said, closing his eyes and concentrating on his pipe.

Takara gave an annoyed huff.

'Prepare to head out first thing tomorrow morning. I'm sending the first and fourth unit to raid Masuya. You may go.'

The younger girl's face immediately lit up and she leapt up from her seat. 'Are you for real Hijikata-san? Thankyou so much! You're the greatest!' She said excitedly.

He didn't return the enthusiasm, but breathed out another mouthful of smoke again. Takara gave a wide small and walked out of the room, not before giving another bow.

'Oh and Takara,' She heard him call after her as she walked out, 'You'd better make sure you don't oversleep, or I'll personally make sure you commit seppuku.'

-

1864, First year of the Genji Era. June 5th.

The morning wind was chilly as it picked up, causing the Shinsengumi banners to flap proudly in the air. The first and fourth units marched through the empty streets, silently but grandly, their headbands and their haoris flowing behind them in the wind.

The young man leading the group of them strode in front, strains of his violet hair blew across his face. He shoulders hunched for a moment as he bent over, giving a fit of coughs, but he picked himself upright almost as quickly as it had started, holding a gloved hand over his mouth.

The streets of Kyoto were silent, their residence still in a deep slumber, unawoken by the sound of the shuffling of feet through the coarse road.

The shuffling stopped when the troops reached Masuya building, and there was complete silence, before it was interrupted by the sharp sound of loud knocks on the large wooden door of the building.

The servant in the Masuya building got up, opening the door to find a beautiful woman standing outside. He froze, the blood draining from his face. His hands trembled and his mouth opened and closed, but no words came out. Then he threw himself face first on the floor, bowing to the woman who stood in front of him, pleading desperately.

The woman walked in with a coy smile on her face, a shawl covered her hair and the top of her head, falling down to her shoulders. It flowed gracefully with every movement she made, against the dark blue kimono that was clad around her body..

Furutaka got up from his bed, woken from his sleep by the racket going on outside. He rubbed his eyes only to feel a sharp pain on his right arm. Lowering his arm slowly, he looked at his bandaged arm and winced.

That damned spy had injured him when she threw her kunai in an attempt to assassinate him. She had failed, but the kunai caught him in the arm. Foolish woman, thinking that working as a hairdresser in the Choshuu would prevent her from being suspected.

'Who is it so early in the morning?' Furutaka called out, expecting his sensei to be the one who had arrived at Masuya. There would be no other reason for his servant to be bowing and pleading to any other customer.

Instead, when Furutaka emerged from his room, he was met with the sight of a young lady. A very familiar lady.

There was no mistake. This was the woman who had served as a hairdresser in the Choshu. This was the spy. The spy.. that they had killed.

'It's early in the morning...' She said, strolling in casually. 'Sorry to disturb you.'

'My my, what a well-planned joke' Furutaka mused, although slightly nervous, but positive there was no way that spy could still be alive.

'I've come to get a kimono.' the woman said delicately, her accent clear and exactly like what it was supposed to be. 'It's the pretty one hanging in your shop. I was soaked in the rain...' She looked up at him and smiled, lifting her shawl slightly off her shoulders to reveal a dark blood stain on the right shoulder. 'It cleansed by body, but this stain just doesn't want to come out.'

Furutaka felt his blood rising, and answered angrily, trying to hide his fear. 'I'll have to ask you to leave, at such an early hour, your tasteless humor is beyond me and I have no intention of tolerating such harressment.'

'If you'll excuse me.' Turning around to walk back to his room, he was stopped short when she ran up behind him, gripping his hand like a vice.

'Masuya-han... How is your right arm feeling?' She asked smirking, lifting it up and undoing the knot on the bandage. The bandage unrolled itself from his arm, falling onto the floor, revealing his arm covered with purple blotches.How.. How could she possibly have known?

Furutaka felt cold sweat forming on his palms and his forehead. The woman spoke again, her voice cold, like death. 'Don't worry. I didn't coat it with anything fatal. Rest assured.. I still need you to talk. I've made certain you'll suffer for a while, then eventually become a corpse covered in purple blemishes'

This time his expression changed to one of fear. 'Why are you still alive? With so many men... they couldn't have failed.. There's no way you can...'

'Be alive?' She asked, her eyebrows raised.

'What.. What are you?'

The doors of the Masuya were violently kicked open as a number of troops burst in. The woman let go of Furutaka, and threw the shawl off her head, revealing herself to be not Ayu-nee, but her brother.

'We are the Shinsengumi! Antique dealer Masuya Kiemon, also known as Furutaka Shuntarou, your aiding and abetting of rebels against his majesty is well known. Confess now or you'll be interrogated in the barracks! Come quietly!' Okita Souji said sternly, looking down at the man who stood frightened in front of him.

Realising he had been foiled, Furutaka made a desperate run back to his room, waking up the Choshuu members who were still asleep in their beds. The men grimaced and were immediately alert. They grabbed their katanas which lay on the floor beside their bed, prepared to defend themselves from their enemies.

'Kill any who resist!' Okita yelled to his troops, as they gave a roar and surged after the retreating Choshuu members.

'Don't let a single man escape the building! Block all the exits!' Takara shouted, running to the back door with Okita to block anyone who tried to escape.

As the two captains stood at the back exit, the troops charged after the Choshu, easily overpowering them as the ronin were groggy and unprepared.

'Okita-sama.' A different female voice suddenly called out, causing Okita to turn around alert, stunned. However, he was met with just an empty rooftop, the blond kunoichi who was earlier seated there now disappeared without a trace.

'Okita-san,' Takara looked up curiously at the first unit captain.

'What is it?' He replied light-heartedly.

'Nothing.. It's just that, you usually lead the troops in. Why aren't you doing so today?'

'Just for today,' Okita replied, looking up at the clear blue sky, thinking about the shinobi disguised as his sister. 'I want to let him do whatever he wants.'

-

'It's fortunate sensei was out.' Furutaka gave a sigh and closed the trapdoor above him, climbing down from his ladder. 'We have no time to waste.' He told the other men who were lucky enough to be in the underground room. Or so they believed.

They were interrupted by a loud sound of bodies falling, and a figure emerged from the shadows. Susumu stepped out, holding up the bleeding bodies of two men by each of his fists clenched around their kimonos. Furutaka's eyes widened in fear as he watched the shinobi drop the bodies and walk towards him.

'Her body..' Susumu started, in a low and cold voice. 'It was horrible, raped by those bastards. Sword wounds and bruises all over..'

'SILENCE!' One of the ronin yelled, lunging at Susumu with his katana. The shinobi dodged it easily by bending down, his leg shot upwards with a hard kick to the ronin's chin, causing the man to fly back with a groan.

'Tossed into the pouring rain.. discarded with less care than garbage.' His eyes grew downcast with every word, his fists clenched tightly around the kunai he pulled out from his kimono. 'Her face, with one of her eyes ruptured, was truly a horrible sight.'

'Dammit!' Another one of the ronin raised his katana ready to slice the younger boy. Instead, Susumu lunged forward first, using his kunai to slice of the fingers of the ronin. The katana dropped to the floor, and the man grabbed his fingerless hand in horror, screaming in anguish and pain.

'Her left arm had come off.. and the broken bone poked through.' Susumu continued, crouched low and his kunai held up, casting a dark shadow to fall over his face.

'_At this rate, I'll be killed.' _Furutaka began to panic, climbing up the ladder again to open the trap door to escape back up.

'STOP' The tip of the kunai was pointed straight at his throat before he could climb another step.

'Instead of me killing you, you'd rather be captured. Is that it?' The shinobi hissed, staring darkly at the man who caused the death of his sister.

Furutaka was frozen in his position, his hands trembling as they clung on to the ladder. 'I.. I only followed superior orders and killed a spy.. Don't you do the same?'

At his comment, Susumu kicked the bottom of the ladder, causing it to come crashing down with Furutaka on top. The antique dealer fell hard on the floor, and groaned in pain clutching his stomach. He crawled away from the shinobi, cringing with every movement.

'Not yet.' Susumu replied. 'None of that yet.'

'Of what?'

'Begging for your life. That comes much later.'

Furutaka picked up a katana lying on the floor and stumbled up, aiming for the shinobi as he ran towards the young boy disguised as Ayu-nee.

In response, Susumu charged forward, enveloping the old man's face in his palm, the force pushing Furutaka down, headfirst against the gravel. He clenched his fist, giving the old man a straight punch in the face.

'I know my sister didn't beg for her life. Even at the end.' The shinobi said angrily, giving him another punch, and his kunai raised and ready to stab Furutaka.

'Don't kill me...' The man pleaded, raising his arms in defence as he cowered beneath the shinobi. 'Did they tell you to kill me?'

'They didn't. Fool. I know my sister.. She didn't beg for her life till the end did she? She just accepted all the pain and humiliation and went with pride accepting her fate as a ninja.' He looked down at Furutaka, who was bleeding badly from the nose and the injuries on his face. 'Yes. Enough pride for me too.'

Susumu closed his eyes and scoffed. 'The truth is, I'm not suposed to kill you..'

'Please...'

'But I can't be a ninja anymore.'

With that, the kunai he held up came down forcefully.

-

'How many did we get?' Takara asked.

'Almost all Captain! Except for a few who managed to escape. However, Yoshida Toshimaro was no where to be found in the building.' One of the soldiers replied.

'Damn it. Alright nevermind. Bring those we've captured back to the headquarters. Hijikata-san will interrogate them. Don't hesitate to cut any of them down if they try to escape!' She ordered the men.

'Yes Sir!' They answered, moving out.

Okita Souji held a map in his hand and was studying closely. He looked up to Takara and laughed. 'I don't think I'll ever get used to them calling you 'Sir''

Takara merely shrugged her shoulders. 'I can't imagine them calling me anything else can I?' She replied grinning. 'Anyway that's what Hijikata-san wants them to call me anyway.'

'True. Alright, I'm going to divide the units to patrol these streets,' He said, pointing to different areas on the map. 'We've got to find those ronin who escaped. You head back to the headquarters first with Susumu.'

Okita handed the map to Takara and led his troops down a street to look for the men who had escaped. Susumu emerged from one of the back alleys, still in Ayu-nee's kimono. His hair was styled just like hers, and he looked identical to his sister.

'What did Puppy-kun say?' Takara asked him as he approached her, cleaning his bloodied hands with a cloth.

'He said he was happy.' The shinobi replied, looking up at her. 'And he said that Ayumu would be happy too. Just like what you said.'

'I told you she'd be happy if you didn't kill him.'

The shinobi kept silent, taking a sudden interest in his bloodied and bruised knuckles.

'Anyway I sent that brat back to the headquarters. That fool ran out in his pajamas in his excitement.'

Takara wasn't the least bit surprised. That was exactly the kind of things that Tetsunosuke would do. The page was originally supposed to follow the first and fourth unit on their raid at Masuya, but he didn't realise how early they had to head off. For her part, Takara had taken extra pains to ensure she would wake up in time, if not, much earlier. The vice-commanders warning had sounded threatening. Very threatening indeed.

'So I hope you're satisfied, now that you've vent your anger on Masuya... Or rather Furutaka.'

'Hardly. It took me a hell lot of control to stop myself from killing him. However,' Susumu looked up and gave a smirk. 'I take comfort in knowing the fukuchou will be interrogating him in the barracks.'

The thought sent shudders all the way down her spine. God bless Furutaka.

The streets began to fill up slowly, men and women strolling casually from shop to shop, many passing stares from the corner of their eyes to the Shinsengumi captain, and the lady in her bloodstained kimono. Many of them started whispering to each other, wondering what could have caused such a huge commotion at the Masuya building, but pretended to be minding their own business when Takara turned round to look at them.

Sighing, she folded the map and kept it inside her kimono. 'Let's go back to the headquarters and you can get changed. I don't know how much longer I can take looking at an Ayu-nee in front of me.'

The two teenagers trudged slowly back to the Shinsengumi. Surprisingly, despite leading the unit on a raid, Takara's haori was surprisingly clean of blood stains. She had made it a point to kill as little of the men as possible, as a way to avenge Ayu-nee's death. It was a little strange, but since she had always upset the cook due to her reckless and merciless actions, Takara decided that this time, she wanted to make Ayu-nee happy. Even if it was a little too late.

As they walked back into the Shinsengumi building, Shinpachi called out to Takara and Susumu. 'Hey! How did the raid go?'

Susumu excused himself politely, and walked off to his room to change.

'Pretty well. We got Masuya, and he's probably hanging upside down from his ankles in the barracks right now. Only Yoshida Toshimaro was no where to be seen.' Takara answered.

'We'll catch that pyromaniac the next time. I'm wondering if the Choshuu are actually planning to launch an attack on the day of the Gion festival itself.'

'The Gion festival? Isn't that two days from now?'

'Yep. The fukuchou said he guessed they're already making preparations. So the sooner we get them, the better.'

Before Takara could open her mouth to reply, Shinpachi asked again, 'Where's puppy-kun?'

'Tetsunosuke? I thought he came back to the headquarters?' The fourth unit captain tilted her said to a side and looked quizzically at Shinpachi.

'No.. He ran to Masuya immediately after he woke up. Didn't you see him?'

'He did talk to Susumu for a while, but Susumu sent puppy-kun back here because he was still in his nightwear.'

Shinpachi gave a slight chuckle. 'I noticed.' He raised his arms and placed them behind his head, tilting his head backwards. ' I bet he ran off to Shimabara. Hah. Well, as long as he isn't getting himself into any trouble as usual. This time I'm not there to save his ass.'

The shorter girl laughed, at the same time pulling off her haori. 'Nah. He should be alright.'

Little did they know that just at that moment, at a building not far away, Tetsunosuke was facing a losing battle for his life, and his sanity.

-

It was later in the afternoon, that Tetsunosuke arrived back at the Shinsengumi. It wasn't the usual scene of the page running into the building in a hassle to rush to make tea for the fukuchou. This time it was different. Different enough to make every member in the Shinsengumi get up and run towards the young boy in worry.

Tatsunosuke had walked into the building, carrying a young boy in his arms. The short redhead was now curled up and clung on tightly to his elder brother's kimono, clutching the fabric until the creases and wrinkles looked as if they would never be removed. Both the Ichumura brother's clothes were singed and torn, their hair frazzled and their faces black with soot. The older brother's eyes were wide and he looked as if he were in shock, his tear-stained face more evident due to the soot on it.

But nothing stood out like the fear in Tetsunosuke's eyes.

They were big, staring a glassy look into no where in particular. His face was pale, his body curled into a foetus position as he whimpered in his brother's arms. There wasn't the usual life and vibrancy in his eyes anymore. Instead, they were replaced with the look of death. The page looked dead inside, the fire in his eyes gone, like lanterns on a ship gone underwater. The young boy looked hysterical in fear, stammering out for his parents in soft whispers repeatedly.

He wasn't affected by the physical injuries he had sustained, but his emotional pain had already driven him insane.

Everyone was shocked; devastated by the sight of Tetsunosuke being carried pathetically in, while his older brother's face showed a slight trace of anger. They flooded the Ichimura brothers with countless number of questions only to get no reply. Tetsunosuke was dead to the world, as if he were trapped in a nightmare of his own, oblivious to his surroundings. Tatsunosuke on the other hand, completely ignored the men who approached him. He walked on unsteadily to the hall, staggering from the weight of his younger brother. The bookkeeper's eyes were dark and downcast, as if he had seen the face of death itself.

Tetsunosuke was cleaned up by his elder brother, who quickly changed him into his nightwear. The page was still hysterical, yelling like a maniac and struggling to break free as Tatsunosuke tried to clean him up. Tatsunosuke kept silent, repeatedly trying his best to change his brother, taking in any pain or blow that was inflected by the insane boy.

When Tatsunosuke was done, his younger brother immediately broke loose from the tight grip around him and dashed to the closet in a desperate madness. He leapt in grabbing on to one of the pillows and slammed the shoji shut, locking himself in the small dark closet. He held it tightly shut everytime anyone had tried to open it, screaming hysterically in anguish for them to go away. No amount of coaxing from Tatsunosuke, or even orders from the vice-commander himself, could bring the page back to his normal self.

He was caged and trapped in the midst of the dark closet, the small space like a vacuum to cut himself off from the outside world. Chained down by scars of the past that appeared everytime the shoji was slid open; memories that scared him, that made him so afraid. So very afraid that his fear coiled itself around him, slowly tightening bit by bit and choking every last drop of sanity.

And there was no one who could set him free.

--

**footnote:**

For those who didn't watch the series, I apologise because there were many unmentioned scenes, which may leave a few wondering, 'what the hell happened?'. So it may seem that the story is kinda, well, jumping around. THUS, FYI: Ayumu was sent to Masuya undercover as a hairdresser, and even had to resort to sleeping with the men to get information out. However, she was eventually found out, and captured. In a last ditch attempt, she attacked Furutaka (the owner of the Masuya house) with a kunai, which caught him in his arm. She was eventually taken away by the Choshu men, ordered to do 'whatever they want' by Furutaka. Hence she was brutally raped and beaten up, her body later disposed on the streets in the rain.

Tetsunosuke, on his way back to the Shinsengumi after meeting Susumu at the Masuya raid, ran into Suzu. (or rather Suzu intentionally ran into him) Suzu's job was to lead Tetsunosuke to a nearby abandoned house, upon orders from Yoshida, and eventually kill him. However, the white-haired page could not bring himself to do so, and eventually Yoshida emerged, grasping his own page by the neck, then tossing him aside to kill Tetsunosuke himself. Tetsu, recognising Yoshida's eyes, was terrified and ran to hide in the abandoned house, ironically parallel to what had happened when his parents were killed. He hid in the wrecked closet, while Yoshida emptied kerosene all over the house, and set the place on fire. planning to burn it down, with Tetsu inside. Tatsunosuke fortunately was attracted by the commotion, and finding that his brother was inside, ran in to save the redhead, who was unfortunately already emotionally stricken and terrorised.


	14. Preparations for Battle

Kitamura Suzu slid the katana that sat in his hands lightly out of its sheath, staring into the dull blade which casted a reflection of a pair of reddish-brown eyes from a boy of 15, whose white hair fell in across his face in bangs against his tanned-skin. Funny how his reflection seemed to only stare back accusingly.

That katana had belonged to his elder brother, who was now of course, dead and long gone. Thanks no doubt to those damned mibu wolves.

The shine of the blade was dull, yes, but it was still lethal enough to kill. And wasn't that exactly what he had gone out and done? Wasn't that what he wanted?

Then why? Suzu wondered to himself in frustration, why wasn't his katana stained with blood, the way it was supposed to be?

He slid the katana back into its sheath, a little more forcefully than he had expected. Suzu never liked the answers he found to his questions. It's not that answers were difficult to find. Not at all. But they were difficult to accept.

He had failed his sensei. Yoshida-sensei had given him a simple task, to go out and kill that evil boy. And to think Suzu couldn't do it. What kind of a right-hand man would he be to his sensei? A weakling like him would never be deemed worthy enough to even serve as a page. The white-haired boy thought back to the previous day, remembering how his sensei had gripped him tightly by the neck and lifted him up, and whispered those few words into his ear.

'_You have failed me, Suzu.'_

'Yoshida Sensei..' Suzu muttered inaudibly to no one in particular, burying his face into his hands. Instead, subconsciously, his sensei's name was followed with another.

'_Tetsunosuke..'_

Suzu shot up in realisation, slightly short of breath. His heart was beating faster and faster, as if he were convicted of a crime and about to face his death trial. Where was that redhead anyway? Suzu mused to himself. And yet it was so hard to smile. Tetsunosuke was probably now burnt to a crisp, when Yoshida Sensei had set the entire deserted house on fire. It caught fire easily, bringing down everything with it, including the page that stayed hidden in the closet. That had been Suzu's mission, to kill Tetsunosuke, and yet he couldn't bring himself to do it. But now his own Sensei had done the job for him, so why was he feeling so uneasy?

Because he had failed as a friend. He had failed Tetsunosuke's trust.

Suzu covered his ears, trying to block out the answers that kept coming to him. How that page's face had lit up when he saw Suzu, how Tetsunosuke followed stupidly without any doubts to his own deathpit. He was blind.

Blind with faith.

Suzu wanted to laugh at the nonsense of his own inner conflict. His sensei had told him how others could not be trusted, and yet this boy, this boy had trusted him. From the day they first met at the sword shop, then got lost together, and at Shimabara... For once Suzu didn't feel alone. He felt like he had a friend.

_Friend._

Yoshida sensei always told him that word was meaningless, that it was nothing but empty and cold. But there was a small spark of hope that Tetsunosuke was safely out of the house before it came down in ashes. And that same spark ignited the word that was forever forbidden to him.

-

Tatsunosuke pulled away once again, his shoulders slumped in defeat. The closet door was shut tightly once again, closing up the gap that he managed to open slightly. His hands were full of scratch marks and the blood trickled slowly from each scratch down his arms, to his hands, to the tip of his fingers, before they fell to the ground in drops.

He sighed and sat down outside the sleeping quarters, wrapping the long bandage around his hands to stop them from bleeding. Countless of times he had tried, and tried again, to open the shoji door to free his younger brother, but again and again, he had failed, only gaining more scratches each time. The younger boy was still hysterical and completely insane. Apparently Tetsunosuke wanted to trap himself in that closet. If this kept up, he would be locked in the closet even until the Shinsengumi launched a full-scale attack on the Choshuu.

Tatsunosuke closed his eyes and gave a small smile. The thought itself was comforting in its own ways. At least his brother would be protected from these men... no, these _oni._

A soft shuffling of feet from behind Tatsunosuke made him look up to whoever the victim was. To no surprise, it was the first unit captain, Okita Souji. Okita reached for the closet door, but was stopped when Tatsunosuke spoke simply to him.

'I wouldn't do that if I were you.' The book-keeper held out his bandaged hand for the first unit captain to see. 'He'll bite.'

Okita lowered his head and walked solemnly to where Tatsunosuke was seated, and sat next to him.

'I'm sorry.'

Tatsunosuke looked up in surprise and gave a nervous laugh. 'Sorry for what?'

The violet-haired man sat silently, letting the soft breeze blow strands of his long hair across his face. There was no more cheerfulness in his face, and it might've been the fact that he was worried about Tetsunosuke, that made him look more sickly than usual.

'For not knowing what to say.'

Tatsunosuke looked away.

'I thought I knew what it was like to feel a real heartache.' Okita continued sadly.

'You do.' Came the reply from the older Ichimura brother, 'Like you said, it's not something that can be healed easily. However,'

The book keeper looked up at his arm again. 'Who knows how deep that wound is? It's not something you can see or touch.. It'd be best that he forgets about it. All I know.. Is that while surrounded by fire, he saw our mother and father murdered in front of him, and smelled the burning bodies as our house went down in fire..'

This time Tatsunosuke stared out blankly at the tree in front of him, his eyes wide. 'And now once again, he couldn't get out... He... Hasn't changed in two years..' Okita saw the tears fall down the book-keepers's face, on onto his own palm.

The first unit captain looked sadly across to the young man who sat next to him. He was just about to say something, when he suddenly got up and started to cough. He felt his throat burn all the way from his lungs as each time he gave another dry, violent cough.

And he wondered how long more he had.

_-_

Takara sat outside the barracks, watching the closed doors intently. She could hear the sounds of the whips and goodness-knew-whats snapping at their unfortunate victim. The fukuchou was inside that small and stuffy room, Masuya with him. Or rather Furutaka, who was currently probably being strung upside down from the roof by his ankles. The beatings were continuous in a standard rhythm, and Takara sat outside rocking her legs back and forth in impatience together with the sound of each beating.

Then the beating stopped.

She jerked her head up in curiousity and leaned close to the walls of the small shed, pressing her ear to listen to what was going on. She heard a distant sound of the drawing of the katana and held her breath, trying to decipher the murmurings that were going on inside. Oddly enough, they sounded more like pleas than murmurings. Suddenly, there was a loud 'thump' as something fell heavily to the ground. Then footsteps.

Scrambling back to her original position she settled just in time as the doors burst open, making her jump slightly at the sudden loud movements. Hijikata strode out, his pipe still in his mouth as he draped a black cloak over his kimono. He looked over to where the fourth unit captain sat, almost too innocently. Raising an eyebrow, he breathed out a mouthful of smoke and eyed the young girl who was pretending to look someplace else.

'What were you up to?'

'Nothing fukuchou!' She answered, giving a nervous laugh. 'So..What did Furutaka confess?'

The vice-commander gave a short 'hmph' before walking off. 'We'll be moving out immediately.'

Takara crossed her arms. The things one had to do to even get a decent answer out of the vice-commander.

-

Miyabe paced back and forth, anxiously in front of the other man who sat calmly with his eyes closed. Turning around in frustration, Miyabe could no longer control himself.

'Yoshida-san! Why don't you go to a Choshuu base? If you stay here, there's a chance you may be caught by an officer. At least at a hantei you'd be protected.' Miyabe looked over his back, awaiting the response of the other man whom he held in high regard. Yoshida Toshimaro.

Yoshida Toshimaro kept his eyes closed and replied in a calm manner, dispelling any anxiety that was thrown his way. 'The hantei is probably as busy as a bee's nest. Katsura feared the Mibu, and he has his hands full trying to calm to soldiers who are screaming to save Furutaka.' He got up, his fringe casting shadows on his face as it swayed slightly over the right side. 'If we go to hantei, we'll have to deal with Katsura. That will force us to start again from the beginning. The ideas which the revolution is founded on, will collapse.' Came the matter-of-fact reply.

Miyabe frowned and looked at Yoshida, who now stood with his back facing Miyabe. He held the drabby cloth at the entrance of the wooden shed up, letting rays of sunlight stream in.

'Miyabe-sensei.' The voice from the sillhouette came, in a more thoughtful tone. 'Don't you want to see the dawn? Do you want to see this country fall to darkness?'

'No.' Miyabe replied, his voice more firmly. 'We must have this revolution. Even if our lives are on the line. That is why we must act when the opportunity arises, so that we don't destroy ourselves.'

This time, another man approached the shed, giving a slight bow before addressing Miyabe.

'Miyabe-sensei, the assembly place has been chosen. It's the house of Ikeda, near the Sanjyo small bridge. However, it seems the Shinsengumi are moving, so please be careful.'

Miyabe nodded in response and followed the Choshuu soldier out. However Yoshida stayed where he was.

'And you?

'My page hasn't returned yet,' Yoshida replied, 'I will see you at the assembly place later.'

The two of them headed off, and Yoshida looked up, staring into the sky thoughtfully. The time had come for the country to be saved, saved from the tyranny of the vile emperor. Goshou would be engulfed in flames soon, and the Choshuu would take over.

'Master Shouin..' he said softly to no one in particular. 'Please protect our patriots for their noble devotion to their country.'

-

'Alright!' Shinpachi punched his fists into the air as he jumped up in excitement. 'This is it!'

'Yea! It's the real thing all right!' Sanosuke bellowed just as excitedly, choosing from a pile of spears.

The Shinsengumi was in a racket, soldiers bustling around to get their uniforms or their weapons. Their katanas and wakizashis slung around their waist, the danger signs on their bright blue and white haoris clad around them. More importantly, many sat in their rooms pouring what could possibly be their last and farewell cups of water, as sake would only serve to make them drunk. Their battle with Choshuu was a big one indeed, and not only did it mean a big setback for their enemies, but also a breakthrough in the recognition of the Shinsengumi. Needless to say, everyone was well aware of the death that loomed ahead of them, ready to claim any who fell prey to the sword of their enemy.

Earlier on, the Fukuchou had held a quick meeting for all the captains and informed them of the Choshuu's plan. Those maniacs had planned to set the city on fire, and in the midst of the chaos, defeat the Aizu and seize the emperor. Tonight they would be holding an assembly to carry out their final steps of the plan before the actual thing on the day of the Gion festival.

And since many of the Choshuu were to be gathered at the meeting, this was the Shinsengumi's big chance to launch a surprise attack to take them down.

However, they didn't know exactly where the meeting place was held. The vice-commander had merely ordered them to search every house in Kyoto.

'But we haven't fought in a real battle before..' Takara said slightly nervous, trying to swallow the big lump in her throat. Sure they had killed many, raided places, but this would be the big haul. Like Sanosuke had said, this was the real deal. This time if they failed, not only would their soldiers die, but the whole city would go down in flames. Not only that, but their page still lay crouched in the dank closet, refusing to come out.

'That's true.' Heisuke said seriously, before wrapping an arm around her and giving her a wink. 'But we'll never know if we don't try eh? And besides, there's nothing to fear. We ARE the Shinsengumi after all.'

Heisuke was right. There was an improbably chance of failure, considering everyone, including her, was itching to get into battle. Takara smiled slightly a the thought of a full-fledged battle instead of their usual measly raids or patrolling. She knew what it was going to be like, and she loved the thrill of it all.

The fourth unit captain looked up the comedian trio, who too, were grinning widely from ear to ear.

'Well then, you'd better start gathering up your troops.' Shinpachi told her, tying the headband around his forehead.

'Alright.' Takara walked off, yelling to the soldiers who were still idling around. 'All troops prepare to march! Start moving out!'

As she looked around, gathering her squadmates, Takara didn't notice the person who was in front of her before she bumped lightly into him. Looking up, she noticed it was the second vice-commander, Yamanami Keisuke.

'Fukuchou! I'm sorry! I didn't see where I was going..' Takara gave an apologetic laugh.

The older man gave a smile and waved the matter off. His face looked tired and sober, unlike the rest of the troops who were eager to set off. Worst still, it was at that moment that Takara noticed he wasn't clad in his uniform. Instead, he was wearing his usual dark brown kimono. 'Fukuchou.. Are you not going on the raid?'

There was a moment of silence and the vice-commander's eyes fell downcast. 'I've.. I've got a cold.' He stated simply after a while, readjusting his spectacles on the bridge of his nose and turn round to make his way away.

'Yamanam-' She called out to the vice-commander who was walking away but to no avail.

_What was going on? _Takara wondered if it could be the memories of the assasination that took place a few years back, which still haunted him. Not only that... but in addition, the page was still locked up in the cupboard, refusing to come out nor let anyone in. Tatsunosuke, on the other hand, didn't seem too enthusiastic when he was informed of the raid. Oddly, he had seemed slightly pleased that his younger brother would not be able to go on their assignment.

What exactly were they afraid of? Maybe they were afraid of death, afraid of being killed on such dangerous missions.

Or then again, maybe what they were really afraid of, were the savage killers the Shinsengumi really was.

There was no doubt. Blood was going to spilt that night. To quench the Shinsengumi's undying thirst for blood.

-

The sun was setting slowly, the entire sky glowing a reddish-orange among the clouds that were scattered all over. The young, tanned page, cracked his knuckles restlessly as he sat in the uncomfortable wooden shack. The heat and stuffiness made his skin itch, but not as much as the feeling that made him itch to run after his sensei.

_No.. Don't go anywhere._

He chided himself mentally, trying to keep his self control. This was, after all, his punishment and he had no choice but to obey. He cursed at his own foolishness for not killing Tetsunosuke in the first place. If only he had succeeded in his task, he would have been proven worthy to be Yoshida-sensei's right hand man instead of just a page. Then he would be able to follow sensei to the house of Ikeda and plot along with the rest.

Somehow Suzu doubted it.

He lifted the heavy cloth that covered the entrance of the shed and looked out. There was no one around, and the silence was driving him insane. Or was it the worry? How long had it been since sensei had left? Less than an hour probably. And Suzy already found himself talking to the walls that surrounded him.

This punishment deemed the most suitable after all. What could be worse than being without his sensei, not knowing what kind of danger his sensei would be in? Surely Yoshida would be able to handle it easily, but how could Suzu, as his page, not be there? There were two options actually, why Yoshida had ordered Suzu to stay put at the isolated shed. One, was because Yoshida found his page to be more than a hindrance which slowed him down, or two, because he cared.

Suzu decided to choose the second one.

True, his sensei could be a maniacal, dark, sinister man, who never hestitated to, but rather willingly, slay anyone who disobeyed. But yet this man, this man was a home to Suzu. When he had been left alone, watched his elder brother die before his eyes, Yoshida had been the one to pick him up, to give him hope for vengeance. Sensei had given him everything, and below that cold shell, Suzu knew his sensei cared for him. As much as Suzu cared for his sensei, and devoted himself fully to Yoshida. Suzu no longer had anywhere to go, but with Yoshida.

And that, that was why he couldn't _ever_ let anything happen to his sensei.

-

The small fires crackled on their posts as they lit up the camp every few metres. The shinsengumi were gathered and prepared for their raid, the darkness of the night like a blanket which shroud everything except for the bright blue and white haoris. Spears, katanas, wakazashis, all were slung around the men, young and old, who waited patiently for orders to be given out.

'I have come to report.' A solemn voice sounded in the cool night silence. Clad in his dark shinobi outfit, Yamazaki Susumu crouched in respect before the vice-commander in a seperate section of the camp. 'Currently I am still searching for where the Choshuu are assembling. I still haven't found a specific location yet, but apparently it is no where near Gion.'

The spy looked up with a serious expression and gave a slight frown before continuing. 'About the requests for reinforcements from the Kurotani Honjin, none of the soldiers have arrived yet. It is most likely because there is trouble getting the message to them.'

Hijikata kept his eyes closed. 'Souji.' He said, not bothering to take the pipe out of his mouth. 'How many soldiers are able to march?'

'Thirty-four men.' The first unit captain replied.

That was all? Takara raised an eyebrow at the numbers tallied. That was much less than she had expected and their lack in manpower might cause them to take longer to find the location of the Choshuu.

'Thirty-four men?' This time it was the tenth unit captain, Harada Sanosuke, that exclaimed in surprise. Agitated, he lifted the flap that was behind him to face the other soldiers who were gathered outside. 'Why did it suddenly decrease! You guys!' He yelled at them, slightly annoyed.

'Hey, hey.' Nagakura Shinpachi, commented, narrowing his eyes at his taller friend. 'What's the point of saying it to those who are here?'

Heisuke adjusted his forehead band and made a face. 'But seriously,' he sighed, 'I want to ask the men of Japan who are running off or catching colds, if they have any balls.'

Takara stifled a choked laugh. 'Todou-kun, have you forgotten that Yamanami-san also caught a cold?'

'...' Heisuke gaped slightly at his realisation. 'If I die, don't tell Yamanami-san I said that.' He muttered.

Dropping the canvas back down, Sanosuke turned to look at the fukuchou. 'What are we going to do vice-chief?'

Hijikata kept silent, puffing smoke from his pipe as everyone else looked at him expectantly.

'Fukuchou,' Yamazaki suggested, 'according to Furutaka's confession, there are about forty men hiding in the city. It's possible that there are others we are unaware of, so I suggest we wait until the reinforcements from the Aizu arrive'

'If we wait until then, the enemy will have escaped!' Sanosuke answered loudly, almost shouting.'Besides, it's been a while since our men had a mission and they're all really pumped up.'

Beside him, Heisuke, Takara and Shinpachi stood in a row nodding their heads along to his statement.

'Fukuchou!' Sanosuke called out to the vice-commander, waiting for his reply.

Instead, the vice-commander stayed silent once again, not even letting out a single word. His arms were crossed as he furrowed his brows thoughtfully.

'Let's go, Toshi.' A different voice broke the silence. Only one man called the vice-commander by his first name, and that would be their one and only commander of the Shinsengumi, Isami Kondo.

The commander stepped in from behind a canvas. He was well-prepared as well, clad in his elaborate uniform and armour. However, his face was as jovial as ever, as if this were all another game. 'You should know our soldiers aren't patient enough to wait that long. Right?' He gave a wide smile.

Finally opening his eyes and showing a sign of life, Hijikata took the pipe out of his mouth and exhaled a breath of white smoke. Sure, they weren't sure of where the Choshuu were assembled, plus they were undoubtedly outnumbered should all the Choshuu soldiers launch a full-scale attack on them. But still.. The ends of the fukuchou's lips curved into a smirk, and he turned to look at the commander.

'I knew you'd say that.'

All the unit captains stared at their usually cold vice-commander, some with their jaws hanging open but all eyes wide in disbelief. It took a few moments and a couple or blinks before they grinned to each other in excitement.

'Alright!' Takara and Heisuke exclaimed, leaping up.

'That's how it's gotta be!' Shinpachi continued proudly, 'Otherwise we wouldn't be the Shinsengumi!'

'If that's the case, Strike while the iron is still hot! Hey, men! Move out!' Sanosuke's voice rang throughout the whole camp.

'YES SIR!' The rest of the soldiers chorused in response, raising their weapons up in the spirit of battle.

'Now then, the matter of dividing the squads,' Kondo unrolled a map which he drew from under his cloak, laying it out on the table clearly for all the captains to see. 'Go up the east side of the Kamo river to Shikokuya.' He pointed to the area on the map with his index finger. 'Toshi, you take Harada and Saitou with 22 other soldiers, and search the area.'

Hijikata nodded, motioning to Sanosuke and Saitou.

'Souji, Nagakura and the rest of you, follow me.' The commander looked up to the rest of them who were awaiting their orders patiently. 'Yes Sir!' Heisuke, Shinpachi, Okita and Takara nodded.

As they headed out to their specified destinations, the vice-commander stopped Takara, and passed her a bundle of cloth. It was soft, but the odd shape of two swords stuck out from the bundle. 'Hijikata-san.. This is..?' She looked at him with a puzzled expression.

'Give that to Yamazaki and ask him to pass it to that brat in the closet somehow.' Hijikata paused, muttering inaudibly what Takara assumed to be curses. 'Hmph. To think he was so keen to join, and look where he is at a time like this. I've already told Yamazaki what to do, so just give it to him.'

'Yes Sir.'

'And Takara..' His stern voice sounded again.

'Yes?'

'Don't screw up. If you do, I swear I won't hesitate to have you commit seppuku.'

Takara winced. Was that how much the vice-commander trusted her? She knew he was uneasy about letting a woman go on a raid, but honestly, the least he could do was have a little more faith.

'Yes Fukuchou.'

'But I'm sure you'll still need a kunoichi at the least.' She grinned, running off to catch the shinobi before the vice-commander could react. She managed to find Susumu relaying information he had gathered to a few of the other soldiers, probably upon the commanders' orders.

'Yamazaki-kun.' Takara called out to him, wanting to talk to him in private.

Susumu looked up and gave her an indifferent glance. He passed the map over to them and walked towards the fourth unit captain, noticing the bundle she held in her hands.

'That's for the puppy I presume?'

'Yea.' She nodded, handing it over to him. He took it from her and prepared to move off, but was stopped when Takara called out to him again, not looking him in the eye.

'Susumu..' She said softly, so only the two of them could hear.

The shinobi raised an eyebrow. 'I thought I told you not to call m-'

'Try your best alright?' She interjected, completely ignoring him. Susumu noticed traces of worry on the younger girl's face. He guessed it was for the page, rather than the raid.

'I mean, I believe that he'll come.' She continued, looking at him with pleading eyes. 'If you just talk some sense into him.. After all he was the only one who managed to talk you out of it the last time, wasn't he? I think right now.. the only person who'll manage to get him out is going to be you. So you'll do it right?'

The shinobi let out an exasperated sigh and looked up at the heavens. What other choice did he have? 'You're supposed to be more worried about your own safety idiot. That page is safe in the closet but knowing you, you'd probably get yourself into some kind of trouble.'

'Nah I'll be fine.' She smiled, relieved. 'Thanks Susumu. I knew you'd do it.'

'Tch.' He rolled his eyes and looked away. 'Well I've got to go now if you want me to drag that brat's sorry ass out of the closet. Besides, I've got other matters to settle tonight as well.'

He took a step away, but stopped in his tracks, his back facing her. 'Be careful.' He muttered reluctantly, before leaping off into the darkness.

-

Back at the Shinsengumi, the headquarters were completely silent. Yamanami Keisuke shot up from his futon in cold sweat, waking up from a bad dream. The assassination.. The assassination that had happened a year ago, the images were still vividly dancing in his mind. It was almost as if he could smell the fresh blood, mixed with the sick stench of sake and the humid rain.

_That dream again..._

A noise from the shoji door distracted him from his thoughts, causing him to look up. His bookkeeper, Ichimura Tatsunosuke knelt outside, holding a pot of food. Seeing the ill 2nd vice-commander sitting upright in his futon, clad in his thin layer of nightwear, he immediately panicked.

'Yamanami-san, you shouldn't be in those light clothes since you're sick.'

The 2nd vice-commander looked up and smiled warmly when he saw that Tatsunosuke had brought him dinner. 'Oh, dinner? Thank you.'

Tatsunosuke proceded into the room, placing the tray of food on the floor beside the futon. 'I made some Okayu,' he said, lifting the lid of the steaming pot of porridge. 'Do you think you can eat it?'

Yamanami looked away and stayed silent for a while.

'I don't like holding a katana.' He finally said, staring into the distance as if he were looking deep into his own memories.

'Huh?' Tatsunosuke looked up puzzled. 'D..Does that mean...' he stammered, unsure of what the older man meant.

'It's because of the way the previous commander died.' Yamanami continued, as if nothing had happened. 'My thirst for bloodshed is gone.'

'I see.' The bookkeeper looked up, and gave a smile. 'Then you can eat normally right? Hold on a second, I'll bring a cooked fish and some side dishes.'

'Thankyou.'

Tatsunosuke paused for a while. 'This may be rude..' He started in a more sincere tone, 'But I feel the same way as you. I'm not good with death.'

He turned back to look at the 2nd vice-commander and smiled again. 'Nor is my brother.'

Ironically, in the sleeping quarters where the page still lay hidden in the closet, another figure stood outside the shoji closet door which was shut tight. In the midst of the dark and cramp closet, a sudden stream of light flowed in, together with the creaking sound of the shoji being slid open. Tetsunosuke gulped in terror, giving a cry of fear when he saw a hand grasp the end of the slightly open shoji.

Panicking, he screamed out hoarsely and grasped the inside of the shoji, slamming it tightly shut again but together with the intruder's fingers. Tetsunosuke panted heavily as he placed his weight against the end of the shoji, trying to keep it shut. However, the intruder's grip on the shoji didn't waver at all, as he placed another hand on the cardboard door. The page's eyes widened as he saw the sight of the pair of hands.

_They're coming. They're coming to get me; they're going to kill me and drain out every bit of my life.. I can't.. I can't let them in.. _

His mind began to race as he whimpered in fear, shaking as cold sweat trickled down his face.

'What? You're awake?' A cold voice drifted in, mocking him with an accusing tone. Susumu Yamazaki kept his grasp on the shoji door, irritated by the page that refused to let anyone in, nor let himself out, of the closet. He frowned, pushing against the force of the shoji door to keep it from slamming shut on his fingers.

'Stop pushing so hard..' He grumbled in a low voice, his shoulders trembling as he tried to pull the door open again. 'You're hurting my fingers..' With a heave, he pulled the shoji door open even furthur, causing a wider gap.

Tetsunosuke let out another whimper in fear as he shut his eyes tight, pushing the shoji door shut once more, almost crushing the fingers that held on to it.

'Damn it..' Susumu muttered outside, his expression furious by the page's stupidity and cowardice. Using his right foot, he pushed himself forward and pulled even harder at the closet door. 'What are you so afraid of? I don't plan on eating you.' He said through gritted teeth, 'But I do want to give you one big thump.'

'Do you know what's going on outside, brat?' The shinobi continued, at the same time still forcing to slide the shoji door open. 'We're out to destroy the assembled Choshu that you hate so much. Only thirty-four people were able to march today, and we don't even know where they're assembling.'

'But we've got to move, or else Kyoto will be submerged under and ocean of fire!' Susumu raised his voice and said in a harsh tone as he felt the anger inside of him rising.

'And during that time,' he hissed, getting more and more annoyed, ' you didn't even ask to accompany us. You were pitied as an avenger. In order to join, you begged to become a demon. You say that you're determined, but when the time comes, you wuss out.'

From the closet, Tetsunosuke yelled insanely, trying to block out the voice that seemed to be pointing and accusing him. The shinobi finally lost his temper, flaring up in fury.

'QUIT FUCKING AROUND!' He shouted, his anger knowing no boundaries. 'YOU STUPID BRAT!' Pulling at the shoji door even harder than before, he could no longer wait for the page to snap out of his state of mind. 'I don't know what happened,' Susumu continued enraged, 'but you've made a shitload of resolutions which you're breaking, right?'

'You want to kill... You don't want to be killed..' he pulled harder at the door and looked through the gap, glaring at the page who sat fearfully in the closet, 'You don't care about avenging your parents anymore!'

'Then...' He roared, infuriated. 'DON'T JOIN THE SHINSENGUMI!'

Enraged, he yanked at the entire shoji door and ripped the whole cardboard door out, exposing the boy who sat helpessly inside. As Tetsunosuke scrambled to get away, Susumu grabbed the bundle that was on the floor and flung it right at the page in full force. The impact of the bundle flung at the page caused the boy to fall back in the closet as he gave a muffled grunt, while wincing from the pain.

'This is your uniform and katana from the Hijikata-san.' The shinobi murmured in a cold voice again, his tone lowered back to normal volume. 'He said if you're just going to rot like that, you should die the Shinsengumi way.'

The page widened his eyes as he stared disheveled at the bundle that was flung right into his arms. As said, it was a uniform and katanas, all meant for him.

Suddenly, he was interrupted by the clashing sound of glass. In the doorway of the sleeping headquarters stood another man, stunned and the sight before him. Tatsunosuke had just stepped in casually, bringing a tray of food for his younger brother before he witnessed the shinobi fling the Shinsengumi uniform and katanas to Tetsunosuke. Not only was he shocked, but he was furious with that cold shinobi after hearing everything he said. The bookkeeper's fists were clenched tightly, and the veins on his forehead were visible as he scowled in anger.

'What are you doing... ' He hissed at Susumu, glaring daggers. 'You bastard?'

In his fit of anger, he lunged at the spy, his right fist pulled back and threw a hard punch at the shinobi's face. There was a loud 'smack' as his fist made contact with something in that split second.

However, when he looked down he saw that his punch had been deflected by younger man's open palm. The shinobi closed in his fingers, grasping Tatsunosuke's clenched fist and pushed it away, distancing it away from his face.

'You don't know his condition..' Tatsunosuke continued angrily, enraged. 'Don't act on your own!'

Susumu remained calm as his palm still enveloped the bookkeepers' fist. 'Do you really want your brother to come out?' He asked indifferently, his tone cold.

The elder brother's eyes widened, taken aback by the other man's statement.

'No, right?' The spy continued. 'You're actually relieved, right?'

Tatsunosuke pulled back in defeat, the colour draining from his face. He stared down at his younger brother who sat in the closet, who was gripping tightly to the bundle and staring blankly into space. The bookkeeper wondered to himself. Was this really what he wanted? Was what this shinobi said, really what he felt inside? His mind was in a whirl, and he felt his guilt rising up and choking him.

Susumu walked out of the sleeping quarters, and said in an unemotional tone. 'Don't run away.'

-

June 5, 1864 (The 1st Year of the Genji).

The shuffling of footsteps slowed down as the group of soldiers slowly came to a halt.

They were the commander, Isami Kondo, First unit captain Okita Souji, Second unit captain Nagakura Shinpachi, Fourth unit captain Niigata Takara and Eighth unit captain Heisuke Todou, together with a few other troops amounting to a mere ten or so.

They stood outside the house of Ikeda, the night breeze billowing through their hair. They were prepared and well clad in their armour, some with their hands wrapped around the pole of their spears, many with the arms resting on the hilt of their katanas. The ends of their headbands flapped in the wind, together with their bright blue and white haoris, the signature warning signs that was the last thing many saw before their death.

It had begun.


	15. Ikedaya Inn

The soft pit-pattering of her footsteps were muffled by the felt shoes that she wore as she leapt from one roof to another, keeping ahead of the mibu wolves that were prowling that night. The blond kunoichi kept running alongside them upon the top of the houses, ensuring that she had a good view of them, but at the same time making sure she herself was out of sight.

'They've got good noses.. Those Bakufu dogs..' She muttered to herself, knowing that they were headed in the direction of exactly where the Choshuu were assembled. This definitely spelled trouble and she knew she had to warn Yoshida quickly, before they were caught.

Looking carefully at the Shinsengumi soldiers who were marching orderly, she recognised the commander himself, together with a few of the unit captains and soldiers. The relatively small group of 11 or so were outnumbered, definitely by the number of Choshuu members gathered at Ikeda. The kunoichi grimaced. Still, most of the Shinsengumi were way more skilled than the Choshuu, and there wouldn't be any problem for the wolves to kill most of their prey.

As she began to pick up speed to run ahead, there was a sound of sharp stream-lined objects that cut through the stale night air. Her reflexes were quick enough to make leap back, just in time to dodge a couple of kunai flung in her direction. They pierced into the roof tiles with short 'thunks', right where she would have been standing just a few seconds ago. Cursing under her breath, she turned round to see who it was, but her anxieties disappeared when she saw the outline of a young shinobi, holding a few kunai between his fingers.

She smirked, getting up to face him. 'I'm amazed. You're still playing on roofs.'

However, the shinobi was immune to her mocking tone. Yamazaki Susumu stood upright on the opposite house, looking at her calmly and slightly amused.

'Don't worry.' He replied casually. 'This game of tag, will be over tonight.'

-

The Commander's fist banged on the door of the Ikeda house repetitively. His haori was specially in black and white, as a symbol of his authority over the entire Shinsengumi. The entire group waited patiently and silently behind him, as he continued knocking until there was a sound of the shuffling of footsteps from the inside of the building. Then the creaking of wood being lifted, as the heavy wooden door was slid open.

The Choshuu soldier on guard rubbed his eyes and trudged towards the door. He wondered who it could have been, and expected it to be Katsura-san himself. However, when he opened the door, he came eye to eye with the sight of a battered leather armour, and a white and black uniform. The soldier froze, his hand still on the wooden door as he paled, feeling his jaw drop open and his eyes widen in fear. He looked up slowly, not daring to confirm the sight before him. His eyes travelled from the chest armour, up the to stern face and murderous expression, and finally, the eyes.

They were the eyes of an _oni. _

_The Shinsengumi..._ He choked on his cry of fear as the _oni_ stepped into the building, followed by a number of others. His legs almost gave way, as he turned and deperately tried to run for his life, and warn the rest to run before it was too late.

As he stumbled clumsily, he collapsed at the foot of the stairs. He opened his mouth and yelled out to his companion at the top of the flight of steps, before there was an eery sound of the swift drawing of a sword. The next moment he saw a crimson liquid gush around him, a sharp unbearable pain and his vision grew black with the deafening ringing sound through his ears and throughout his mind.

At the top of the steps, another soldier had heard his companion's desperate pleas for help. He looked down only to see his friend in a pool of blood, and worst still, members from the Shinsengumi running up the flight of stairs. Before he could process what was going on, or even utter a word from his throat, he felt the cold blade of the katana pierce through his chest, slamming the air out of his lungs. He lost control of his senses and fell giddily, tumbling down the wooden steps only to land heavily at the bottom.

-

In another room on the second floor, Yoshida Toshimaro tipped the cup of sake and let it flow through his lips, quenching his thirst. However, the sudden crashing sound from outside caused him to dart his eyes wide open and he peered out from the corner of his eyes suspiciously.

There were the distant sounds of quick paced steps, closing in and getting louder.

Something was amiss, and he felt the ominous presence growing closer and closer to them. There was a strange smell in the air.

The sweet smell of blood.

-

The Shinsengumi members ran swiftly in a single row, led by their commander, Isami Kondo. He was followed respectively by Souji, Shinpachi, Takara, Heisuke, and four others as they raced through the corridor, dashing to the room at the very end. There were merely the nine of them, two other soldiers stationed outside the building to stop any from escaping.

Kondo found the room, and slid the shoji door open abruptly. 'Excuse us!' His loud and authoritative voice boomed through the room, forcing all the Choshuu members to look up in shock and fear. They trembled at the sight of the commander of the Shinsengumi himself, all placing their hands protectively on their katana sheathes. They were stunned at how they had been caught. Not only were their plans foiled, but this was probably going to be where they died as well.

'This is the Shinsengumi!' he continued, sounding slightly amused. 'We're searching this inn! Now! Those who oppose us, will be killed without mercy!'

'We ask for your cooperation!'

The men from the Choshuu stared wide-eyed, panic rising inside of them. Their lips turned chapped, and some sat gasping for air, unable to say a word or make a movement.They were even afraid to stare too long at the sight of the commander and the four other captains, some already soaked in fresh, warm blood.

All from the Shinsengumi had the same deadly seriousness plastered on their faces, the same crouched posture ready for attack. They exerted a fearful amount of calmness and confidence, the gleam of the katanas similar to the gleam in their eyes.

But that wasn't what had struck fear into the Choshuu. All of that was nothing. Nothing compared to the dark eyes of the mibu wolves, eyes that stared intently at them, as if studying every single detail.

Eyes that could kill. Those familiar eyes that belonged only to an _oni._

-

Tetsunosuke still sat silently in the closet, despite the fact that the entire shoji door had been ripped out and still lay on the ground. He hadn't moved an inch, and the bundle containing his uniform and katanas still sat on his lap, as he hugged in closely to his chest. Susumu's words still rang through his head, as if it were a broken recorder replaying itself over and over again. The words would've made the page more and more guilty, but yet at that moment, Tetsunosuke felt as if he were an empty shell. He knew what he had to do, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. He didn't have enough courage to get out of the comforts of his little closet to face the world.

'Sorry to intrude, Tetsunosuke-kun.'

The page recognised the voice to belong to the 2nd vice-commander, Yamanami-san. However, Tetsunosuke didn't raise his downcast eyes to look up at the older man. The vice-commander walked to the closet and seated himself down infront of it, his back against the wall. He didn't face Tetsunosuke when he spoke either.

'It's pretty quiet tonight. I suppose it's because everyone is gone.'

'I wanted to talk to you for a bit,' he continued, not expecting an answer from the young boy. 'Don't you think it's a shame? A vice-chief of the Shinsengumi, who always gets his way, caught a cold at a time like this.'

The older man adjusted his spectacles on the bridge of his nose, and gave a painful laugh. 'The truth is,' he admitted, 'I'm scared. Tatsunosuke-kun told me that you feel the same way, Tetsu-kun. I guess that means we're alike.'

He gave another pause and closed his eyes. 'No, that's not it.' he said bitterly, after giving it some thought. 'When I was little, I liked to watch the school of Medaka fish swimming in the river. I thought the great effort they made to swim against the current, was cute and courageous, and I would stare at them all day.'

'Tetsu-kun. It seems like I've become too cowardly. Now, I wonder if all I can do is go with the flow. But you could..' Before he could finish his thoughts, Yamanami drifted off. He quickly recovered and gave a smile and spologised. 'I'm sorry. It seems. I've told you my boring old stories.' He slowly got up and walked out of the room.

'Well, good-bye.' The vice-commander said, still smiling, as he slid the door of the sleeping hall shut.

At that moment, Tetsunosuke finally opened his eyes to the world again, and watched the shadow of the vice-commander flicker against the cardboard shoji as he walked off.

_I don't.. I don't have to go with the flow..._

_-_

'R..Run!' The men scrambled in their haste panic to escape, yelling and shoving as they burst through the doors out to the corridor. 'Hurry up and run!' They stumbled, kicking over their sake glasses and trays that were on the floor. Some climbed onto the roofs through the balcony to try to get away, others ran back down the stairs, to flee from the Shinsengumi.

'Hold it! Don't run!' Yoshida stood up, raising his voice above the noise. 'There aren't that many of them! If we fight together, we can defeat them!' He proclaimed angrily at those who were in a frenzy to get away. They stopped in their tracks, realising their leader was right. There were only a few Shinsengumi members, while they on the other hand, had more than enough to deal with a few to one. They grabbed their katanas and drew it, the sound of the metal blade scraping the sheathe evident through out the room from the sheer number of Choshuu men.

'Kill those two.' Yoshida told them, referring to Kondo and Souji, who stood at the doorway blocking their paths.

The Choshuu men lunged forward, giving battle cries with their katanas raised and ready to slice the Shinsengumi commander and first unit captain into two. With a low grunt, Kondo retaliated and deflected the blades that were charged at him. His own sword moved quickly, slicing the enemy right through the head. The victim cried out in pain before the blood gushed out of his face and his head fell in two on the ground. One by one, they were thrown aside by the overbearing power and skills of the Commander. They were dealt with fatal blows, killing them instantly.

The first unit captain slashed his way through as well, leaving many to fall and lay bleeding on the ground. Kondo stepped up once again, his katana held parallel to the ground our in front of him.

'I'll say it once more!' He ordered in a more dangerous tone, ' Those who oppose us will be killed without mercy!' Souji stood crouched beside him, glaring deathly at the men and sending shivers down their spines. They backed off slightly but refused to back down.

More men had gathered around the two Shinsengumi leaders, Surrounding them on all sides. 'Hurry up and get them!' The Choshuu yelled, lunging forward once more, but this time more men on all sides.

Okita Souji looked up in alert, aiming his sword with deadly accuracy to each approaching enemy and cutting each and every one of them down. Kondo too, gave a roar in anger, slicing the men at their upper body, spilling guts and blood on the white walls and staining them dark red. His own face and uniform grew stained with random splats of blood, as more bodies fell to the ground lifelessly.

In another room, Nagakura Shinpachi backflipped over his opponent, easily dodging the supposedly lethal attack that was thrown to him. He stabbed the man simply and easily from the back, pulling his katana out at the same time while slicing the body in half. There were a large number of them trying to escape, but they only ended up getting cut down as the redhead ran swiftly in front of them.

Takara and Heisuke blocked both ends of the corridors, stopping any of them from escaping. Heisuke deflected the attacks as his own blade clashed with the opponents, his katana sliding down more quickly and cut through their chest. He leapt easily out of the way of any attacks, squinting slightly from the blood that seemed to splatter endlessly all over him.

Takara was doing the same, moving non-stop in action to block any attacks, or to slice any who tried to escape. Despite her short stature, her blows were lethal, aiming at fatal points of the body. Most of the men were sliced cleanly from shoulder down, or simply had their necks slit. Those who were still alive were stabbed again to ensure their death. The warm sticky red liquid that flew in spots landed on her haori and her face, staining her from top to toe.

The Commander stumbled back slightly by the force of one of the Choshuu man pushing his katana against his. The man grinned, only to meet a large fist in his face. Kondo threw a heavy punch to him, causing the man to fall back. Then raising his katana, he pushed it through the man's chest, pinning him to the ground and the man floundered helplessly as he tried to gasp for air. 'You have been warned!' He yelled, pushing the blade down harder. 'If they resist, kill them!'

Takara barged into one of the nearby rooms where a couple of Choshuu members hid. Grinning at her find, she stabbed them before they could react, one by one. Heisuke advanced forward as he moved from one enemy to another. Slicing one of the men at the waist into half, he cursed as he noticed a group of them running in the other direction, making a turn down another corridor. However, Shinpachi stepped out of a room just in time, stopping right in their path. The short redhead had his katana resting on his right shoulder, as he looked up casually at the men who had just made their breakaway. However, they stopped and inched backwards, gritting their teeth in anxiety when the second unit captain came into view.

**'KILL!' **The commander's voice rang through the building.

Shinpachi lunged forward in a straight attack, cutting each and every one of the men down without even stopping to take a breath. He sliced them from their waist, and raised his katana again, bringing it down on the next one through the man's shoulder. Leaping over them and dodging their attacks, he cut them down four in a row in quick strokes. The blood gushed out onto him, as the men stumbled on the ground paralyzed, their bodies clogging blocking up the corridor in pools of blood.

**'KILL!'**

The unit captains raced to their next prey, stabbing and slicing anyone in their path. Their faces were stained and covered in not their blood, but the enemy's. Each one of them kept up their attacks smoothly and swiftly, never running out of energy. The shiny blade of metal, now stained in patterns of dark red, came down, again and again on different bodies, cutting through everything. Bones or flesh.

**'KILL THEM ALL!'**

Watching the lifeless bodies fall to the ground, they only smiled as they killed more and more of the Choshuu men. The same murderous glint in their faces and giving thunderous roars of triumph and self-satisfaction.

-

Bursting through the cardboard doors, he leapt from the second floor the sharp end of the spear pointed directly down. Yoshida Toshimaro landed on to one of the Shinsengumi members guarding the exits from above, his spear driving through the man and pinning the Shinsengumi soldier to the ground, brutally killing him instantly. He turned to look up, his long strands of raven hair following his movements as his pale face was stained with smears of blood.

Their plan had backfired indeed, the mibu wolves managing to hunt them down. Yoshida wondered why there was no warning, and found his answer as he noticed two dark fingers dancing on the rooftops. She was busy fighting for her own life as well. His blond kunoichi, that is. Looks like she wasn't as capable as he had thought her to be. Muttering a couple of profanities, there were shouts that came from inside the building, as a few other from the Choshuu as well burst through the back doors, running out to where he was standing.

The Choshuu men attacked in a group of 7 or so, running and slashing the Shinsengumi soldiers who were meant to be blocking the exit.

'We've managed to make an opening. Now come this way, Yoshida-sensei!' One of Yoshida's comrade turned to him, panting heavily and urging his sensei to escape.

Yoshida shouted up to his two friends who were still on the second floor, in the bloody battle. 'Matsuda! Miyabe! We must withdraw for now!'

'I refuse!' Miyabe's voice echoed from the second floor.'I'm tired of running away! I can kill two or three!'

Neither Matsuda or Miyabe leapt down, and there was more shouting. Yoshida was unable to see them, but it only took the sound of the clashing of katanas and their screams in agony to know that they had been killed.

It happened so quickly, that Yoshida himself found he himself had no time to react. He stood stunned, unable to move a step at the thought of his loyal companions killed, their dreams for a better country pierced and shattered. They were great men, with big dreams, and to think that it had all been taken away in a split second.

'Miyabe.. Matsuda..' He whispered their names, gritting his teeth as he tried not to let his expression contort in pain. He bowed his head with his eyes shut tight, when there was the sound of sandals against the ground from behind him.

'Sensei!' A young boy's voice called out to him. Yoshida opened his eyes, recognising the voice to belong to his page.

'Why are you here? I thought I forbade you to come.' He said darkly, angered that his page had not followed his orders. However, he had more things to be concerned about than to think up any form of punishments.

'I can't hide by myself in a time like this!' Suzu answered back raising his voice, differing from the usual meek tone of respect he gave to his sensei. 'I will fight with you! I don't care if I die! I will kill as many Mibu wolves as I can, in order to save the Choshuu.'

Suzu's expression softened, as his eyes brimmed with tears. 'I want to be able to help you, sensei!'

Yoshida paused in silence, taking his words into consideration. 'If you're willing to go that far..' he started, 'Suzu, go to the Choshuu hantei and get reinforcements immediately.'

The page froze, opening his mouth to protest, but his sensei cut him off. 'What's wrong?' Yoshida asked, 'If you don't hurry, we'll be surrounded.'

Slumping his shoulders in defeat, Suzu looked away, trying to stop the tears that were forming at the corners of his eyes. 'I don't have.. any other place...to go back to.' he answered sadly, looking at the ground in pain. 'except to you. Even if I call for reinforcements, even if the Shinsengumi are killed... I don't want to be alone..' By now, his face was wet from the tears that were rolling freely down his cheek.

'Then,' Yoshida turned around to finally look at his page in the eye, and gave a reassuring smile. 'come back quickly if you want to accompany me.'

Suzu looked up at his sensei in surprise. He blinked his eyes and smiled in return, nodding his head and clenching his fist. He understood what his sensei wanted him to do. Quickly, he fled out of the compound to the hantei for reinforcements. He would get back up, then run back to his sensei's side to fight along with him.

That way, he would be with his sensei. He wouldn't have to be alone. It was a promise.

Yoshida headed back to the Ikeda house, staggering in and clutching his spear. He was prepared to avenge the deaths of his friends. This time he wouldn't run either, nor hesitate to kill those damned Shinsengumi men.

-

Okita Souji shoved his katana upwards into the man that towered above him. The man gasped in pain and his blood ran down the blade, mixing with the rest of the bloodstains already on the blade and Souji's uniform. Pulling the katana out, the first unit captain pushed the body aside, letting it tumble down the stairs. His shoulders moved up and down as he breathed heavily, trying to catch his breath. There was something about him that didn't seem right that day. Souji's stamina no longer lasted as long as it had used to, and he felt his lungs start to burn with each breath of stale air.

He looked back at the strewn bodies and the sliced limbs which lay all over the floor. The Ikeda house was now quiet, except for the last few unfortunate Choshuu survivors who were cornered by the captains.

'G.. Get out of my way!' One of the men yelled, his katana drawn and pointed towards Takara, despite the fact that he was standing quite a few feet away. There were three of them, who stood infront of the fourth unit captain, all with their katanas trembling in their hands. They postured themselves ready to attack the captain who stood in their way, but none dared to make the first move, their feet rooted to the ground in fear.

'You don't think I'd let you past so easily, do you?' Takara smirked, asking in an ironically friendly tone.

'W..What?' One of them asked incredulously, looking closely at her. 'He's a girl!' He exclaimed to his companions, all fear from his face disappearing.

The three of them looked at her and grinned. 'You're just a girl eh? Get her!' At once they lunged forward, aiming to slice her into pieces.

Shifting her left foot and using it as a pivot, she dodged their attacks before they could see her, turning in half a circle and stabbing the first man in his back. She dragged her katana, slicing his body from the middle of his chest, outwards, and in a continuous motion, cut the second man's upper body cleanly from his waist. His body parts flew to the ground, his insides splattering out all over. The third man gave a roar and his katana came down on the girl, and would have sliced her into half from head to toe. However, it only ended up being blocked by her katana. Pushing his weight against the shorter girl, he forced her a few steps back as the sharp end of their blades pressed against the other one's.

'Let's see..' Takara asked him casually, looking up at the taller man. 'How should you die?'

His eyes widened as he found himself immersed in fear once again, this time greater than it was before. 'S.. Shut up bitc-'

Before he could complete his sentence, the girl's katana had pushed his away, and the tip of it was through the back of his mouth. Takara had thrust her katana, stabbing him through his mouth and the other end of the blade emerged from the back of his head. She pulled it out roughly, causing him to stumble back and scream out in the extreme agony, fumbling aimlessly from the pain that shot through every nerve in his body.

'Watch your mouth.' she hissed at him, advancing forward. 'I don't have a very high tolerance for foul language used on me.'

Takara stabbed him a second time, silencing the screams. She drew her katana from where she had estimated his heart to have been, and wiped her face with the sleeve of her haori, grimacing at the amount of blood that was splattered all over. It seemed like getting dirty was inevitable if she wanted to have fun.

Nagakura Shinpachi, too, was enjoying himself. He stood face to face with one of the men from the Choshuu, coaxing the poor, unfortunate ronin.

'Now then, what are you going to do?' The redhead asked his enemy slyly, giving a malevolent grin. 'You don't have any chance of escaping.'

The man gripped his katana stiffly, darting his eyes about only to find that Shinpachi was right. There was no open escape route, and the only way was to eliminate the Shinsengumi captain who stood before him.

'You need to be brave and make the first move.' Shinpachi continued, in the same devilish mocking voice. 'Just come.'

Suddenly, both Shinpachi and Souji, who was standing nearby, sensed a third presence. They turned in that direction, their eyes alert and their bodies tensed. The man in front of Shinpachi took his opportunity and ran at the second unit captain, yelling in fury. 'Don't underestimate me!'

Without even looking, Shinpachi raised his katana from below, cutting upwards and piercing through the man's body. He froze in mid-attack, before letting out a bloody choke and falling to the ground.

The first and second unit captain, held their katanas in front of them, bracing themselves to attack. In the distant corridor, there was an outline of a dark shadow that grew larger over time, as it came closer and closer. The silhouette made itself out to be Yoshida Toshimaro, the man himself. He lumbered forward, clutching his spear in his right hand and advanced calmly upon the two captains.

This time, a quick figure emerged from the room in a sudden swift movement, aiming for Yoshida. Unfortunately, the figure seemed to stumble ungraciously out instead, tripping on the ledge of the door. Yoshida responded quickly, stepping back just in time to avoid the katana that slashed across him, splitting his spear into half.

'Gaah! Heisuke!' Shinpachi shouted in disbelief at the clumsiness of the 8th unit captain.

Regaining his balance, Heisuke leapt back giving a grin. 'Now, that may be easier for you to use.' He joked, referring to the spear that now was in two pieces. Yoshida stepped back as well, and held the sharp end of the spear. He lunged forward for the Shinsengumi captain, aiming for his opponents forehead. Heisuke, who was oblivious to the true danger he was facing, ran straight for Yoshida as well, his katana pointed towards the man's chest.

'Idiot! Run!' Shinpachi's voice rang through the building once again, this time full of anxiety and panic. He ran in desperation to stop Yoshida's spear, screaming out at Heisuke, and yelling at him to get away. Unfortunately, he was unable to make it in time.

The pointed metal end made contact with the 8th unit captain's forehead, and Yoshida would have driven the spear deeper in if not for another katana.

Shinpachi had lurched forward, pushing the spear upwards away from his friend with his own katana.

However, the attack was enough to cause a gash in the middle of Heisuke's forehead as blood gushed out, his headband to split cleanly into half as well

'HEISUKE!'

-

On the roof of the Ikeda house, Susumu heard the devastated cries of the second unit captain. He looked down, wondering what had happened. In addition, he saw two or three of the men from the Choshuu running through the back doors and escaping. Before he could draw his kunai to stop them, his opponent gave him and airborne kick.

He blocked it just in time with his arm, preventing her leg from smashing into his face. She pulled back, and landed a comfortable distance away once again. The shinobi was still in the midst of a battle with the blond kunoichi.

'Excuse me,' she mused, noticing his lack of attention. 'Are you looking away in a situation like this?'

The blades of two katanas clashed, as both spies ran towards each other. Susumu swung his blade aiming for her neck, but she ducked it easily, together with the following attack to her body which she leapt over. He brought the katana down a third time, but the kunoichi leapt over him swiftly and kicked him in the back at the same time, before landing gracefully back on the roof.

Once her feet touched the roof, she lunged at him almost immediately slashing the katana. He stepped back swiftly, avoiding each attack as well. This time, the kunoichi came to him with a punch, which Susumu managed to dodge and gripped her wrist forcefully, swinging her down on the roof. Without hesitating, the blond kicked his legs from behind as she fell, causing him to stumble on the hard tiles of the roof and dropping his katana.

However, the shinobi refused to release the tight grip he kept on her wrist.

'Hey,' she said, as she tried to pull herself free of his grasp. 'You're pretty aggressive tonight.'

_Her speed and jumping abilities are far superior to mine, _Susumu thought to himself, looking up at her.

Yanking her arm, the kunoichi tried to break free once again but to no avail. Susumu held her in a vice-grip, and this time, it was his turn to smile. 'What's wrong? There were several female ninjas the other night. None of them are here now.' He gave a smirk. 'Were you abandoned?'

The kunoichi snapped, obviously unhappy with such a sensitive issue. 'That's none of your business.'

_I can't let her make this an air battle. _He continued, strategising. _Then.._

Getting up suddenly, he grabbed her outfit by loose cloth in the front with his free arm. Lifting her up easily, he raised her up and locked her arms. Then he kicked her legs, causing her to lose balance and forcing her to lean her weight against him. Grunting slightly, he lifted her entire body and placed it over his shoulders, her legs completely off the ground and held by his left arm.

'What!' The kunoichi's eyes widened in shock and started to panic.

Susumu bent down, with great velocity and slammed her head first into the roof. Her head smashed into her outer helmet, causing her to let out a choke of pain. The tiles smashed from the great impact, and she tumbled back, rolling down the slope of the roof. She lay semi-conscious, giddy from the throbbing pain in her head.

The shinobi got up, taking out a small flare cannon. The kunoichi raised her head and looked up at him, holding her head but the rest of her body unable to move.

_S..Shit..He's going to finish me off._

He took out a match and struck it, while giving her an emotionless glance. However, to her surprise, the shinobi pointed the mouth of the flare cannon upwards, and it sent out a blinding flare signal that rose high up, before it exploded in the night sky.

-

'Susumu..'

His footsteps grew quicker and quicker as ran.

'Ayu-nee..'

No more hiding. He wasn't going to run away from his fears any more.

'Father..'

He would fight. Fight for the Shinsegumi. Fight for Okita-san. For Susumu, Ayu-nee. Fight to avenge his own father's death.

There was the sound of an explosion, and the night sky was brightly lit, as if a second sun had risen. Tetsunosuke looked up in the direction of the signal, and stood mesmerised by the blinding light. The light rays fell in streams, expelling the darkness of the shadows momentarily. Just like how he wanted to expel the own darkness inside of him.

Tetsunosuke ran in the direction of the signal, knowing it would lead him to where they were. His new haori and headband fluttered in the wind as he ran, like the strings of a kite flowing gracefully. The constant and rhythmic clicking sound of the swords hanging from his waist, clashing against each other motivated him to run even faster.

This time, he was going not as a page, but as a soldier.

-

As Hijikata led the troops down another street, raiding any inns in sight, the flare signal exploded in the night sky. He looked up in the direction, staring silently at the bright light.

'They've done it!' Sanosuke bellowed triumphantly from behind the vice-commander.

There was a moment of silence as the group of them stared into the sky. Kondo and the others had found the place indeed.

'Let's go!' Hijikata commanded after a while, snapping out of his thoughts and signaling them to head in that direction.

'Yes Sir!'

-

At the same time, the light filtered through the barred windows in the Ikeda house. However, neither of the two men took notice of it, and they were only concentrating on the other. Okita Souji stood opposite Yoshida, looking at him through murderous eyes. Souji himself could sense the strong yearning for bloodshed coming from the sinister man who was before him, and it made him more and more serious about the current battle.

Shinpachi clutched his katana in his right hand, watching the two before him. He knew better than to make any sudden movements in such a situation. In addition, there would be no need to assist Souji, after all, the first unit captain was more than capable of handling Yoshida.

'Shinpattsan..I..' A murmur came from Heisuke, who made an effort to get up from where he was lying.

'Shut up' The redhead answered sharply, cutting his friend off. 'The wound isn't that deep.'

His attention was redrawn to the first unit captain when Souji made a quick dart for Yoshida. There was the sound of his katana piercing through flesh, but it was that of a corpse of another soldier. Souji looked up startled at the Choshuu leader, who grabbed the head of his dead comrade and used the man's body as a shield. Without hesitating, Yoshida's katana slit through the dead body, the end of the blade barely missing the violet-haired man by a hairline.

Souji leapt back, dodging another swift slash by Yoshida and jumped over him. However, the older man was too quick, and he turned round before the first unit captain had time to land. Souji blocked the attack in mid air, and pushed the other man's blade away. His shoulder's heaved up and down as he breathed heavily, steadying himself for another attack. Yoshida, on the other hand remained calm, no traces of weariness on him. Souji lunged forward, sending forth another thrust only to be blocked by Yoshida. Their katanas clashed repeatedly as each sent out continual attacks.

As the Choshuu leader pushed forward, Souji felt himself step backwards from the weight of his opponent. Gritting his teeth, and with a surge of energy, he straightened his katana parallel to the ground and drove it into Yoshida's shoulder. The katana met its target, Yoshida's face contorting slightly in pain as Souji continued pushing forward. The first unit captain then sent a kick straight to the other man's chest, sending Yoshinda flying backwards and ramming through the shoji doors. Souji trudged forward to where Yoshida lay, his eyes narrowed and his katana pointed downwards as he prepared for the kill. Standing over Yoshida. he raised the weapon upwards.

'Okita-san..' A whisper came from the silhouette that stood by the doorway. Tetsunosuke stared wide-eyed at his favourite captain, who had now completely transformed into an oni.

A sudden foot shot up and caught Okita Souji in the chest as well, sending him stuttering and flying back this time. Yoshida staggered up, turning face to face with the page who was in perfectly clear view. He eyes slit into a glare as he moved forward menacingly to the stunned page. Tetsunosuke gave a soft cry in fear, and he heard Nagakura Shinpachi calling out to him to run away. He trembled as he stared back at Yoshida, almost hypnotised by the eyes that seemed to pierce through him. Then swallowing the lump in his throat, Tetsunosuke ran.

Yoshida proceded after him, but a hand wrapped itself around his ankle. Souji was lying on the floor, but he gripped the other man tightly, determined not to let him go.

'I'm not dead yet..'

-

'Shinpachi!' Takara rushed forward to the second unit captain who was standing still. 'Heisuke!' She cried, alarmed when she saw the eighth unit captain lying on the ground next to where Shinpachi was standing.

'Don't worry.' Shinpachi said to her, 'He's not dead. Though he would definitely been killed by Yoshida, thanks to his stupid actions.' Heisuke mumbled a few curses in response, from where he was lying.

'Yoshida's here?'

'Okita's fighting him now, trying to stop that maniac before he runs after puppy-kun and skins him alive.' Shinpachi answered grimly, squinting into the distance to see what was happening.

'Tetsunosuke.. He really did come in the end.' Takara thought aloud to herself. 'Shinpachi, you go after them in case anything happens. I'll stay here and dress Heisuke's wound.'

Shinpachi looked back to the younger girl and nodded. 'Alright. You guys catch up later.'

Takara crossed her fingers, praying hard. 'Tetsunosuke...'

-

_**Why am I running?**Tetsunosuke's footsteps echoed through the empty corridor._

Yoshida pushed the first unit captain aside, freeing himself from Souji's blade. He ran after the page, a maddening desire in him to eliminate the boy. Going to the nearest room, he slid the shoji open and stared into the empty space before him. An angry cry from behind caused him to wheel around, as he saw the violet-haired captain lunge towards him once again. Yoshida ducked out of the way, crawling quickly away from the captain. However, Souji came on with another attack, lodging his katana blade from the top of Yoshida's left shoulder and dragging it down. Giving a gasp of pain, Yoshida grabbed the katana blade with his bare hands, feeling it slit the skin on his palm. He kicked the first unit captain hard in the chest, trying to free himself from the blade.

_**Go back! Go back! Go back! **His footsteps slowed down, and tried to clear his thoughts. But the cries from Okita-san and that madman, sent shivers down his spine. His eyes widened in fear, as the thoughts of Yoshida coming after him raced through his head. What if.. What if he were found?_

Yoshida yanked the blade out from his shoulder and watched the first unit captain hold back suddenly. Souji began to cough violently, covering his hand with his mouth. His lungs felt as if they were on fire, and there was a metallic taste in his saliva. Pulling his hand away from his mouth, three bright spots of red on the black glove on his hand told him that this could possibly be his last battle. Yoshida took this opportunity to strike.

_Tetsunosuke closed his eyes tightly in fear, the sounds of their battle passing through the shoji door that hid him from the other two. Through the small slit, he watched what was going on, tears forming in his eyes. **I'm sorry! I'm sorry!**_

Souji lay helplessly under the Choshuu leader's foot, pressed on his chest armour. He tried to fight back, but he was still coughing vigorously. The weight of Yoshida pressed on his chest, and he felt himself began to suffocate from the contraction in his lungs. He felt his armour break, and the man's foot pushed even harder. Souji gave a loud cry of pain, his ribs on the verge of breaking. His arms were outstretched on the ground, his fists clenching and unclenching itself from the extreme pain.

_The page watched helplessly as the first unit captain was slowly dying before his own eyes. There was nothing he could do to help. He wished he wasn't so afraid.. **I'm sorry! If only I had more.. If I had more...**_

Pain shot through Yoshida's leg as he felt a cold blade sear through his thigh muscles. It immobilised him, causing him to stumble backwards and fall on the ground, unable to stand for that moment. He looked down, stunned to see that it was the page himself, who finally dared to show himself.

'Okita-san.' Tetsunosuke wept, holding the weak first unit captain in his arms. 'I.. I had it wrong all this time.. The reason I wanted to be stronger..'

The red-haired boy smiled through his tears at the captain, who was looking back affectionately at the page, although in pain.

'Wasn't so I could kill..' Souji smiled back, a small smile, raising his trembling hand to wipe the tears from Tetsunosuke's eyes. However, his body tensed when he saw a dark figure rise behind them.

'Tetsu-kun' Souji said in a serious tone, and the page nodded in understanding, raising his katana in response.

He placed the first unit captain gently on the ground, and stood up to full stature, to face Yoshida.

Tetsunosuke had no intention to hide anymore.

This time, he was going to face up to his fears.


	16. Battle's End

The kunoichi's leg caught him in the back for the second time that night, and he stumbled forward. Susumu turned round just in time to get another kick from under his jaw, sending him tumbling down and landing ungraciously on the bottom of the roof. Ignoring the searing pain in his jaw, he leapt up again and ran swiftly, jumping onto the next roof. Part of him regretted not finishing her off earlier. He didn't expect her to continue their fight.

His thoughts were interrupted as a handful of shuriken were thrown in his direction by the kunoichi in mid-air, who had yet to land. Seizing his chance, the shinobi deflected every single one of the small weapons with a few flick of his blades. Then without hesitating, he ran forwards with his right arm pulled back. Before the kunoichi could react, he threw a hard punch at her, sending her flying back onto the roof tiles with a gasp.

'Damn it..' The she muttered to herself, lying on the roof and holding her helmet again. 'My head still hurts...' The previous attack from the shinobi had left her with a throbbing pain in her skull, causing a giddy sensation everytime she made a movement.

A shadow in front of her forced her to leap back up, away from danger.

'What? You still want to fight?' The shinobi asked in a bored tone, standing in front of her.

'Hmph. You think you've won this fight?' She answered indignantly and irritated by the calmness of the shinobi.

He stared emotionlessly at her for a few seconds, and closed his eyes as if in impatience. Then with a quick flick of the wrist, he spun a kunai on his index finger and gripped it in his hand. In response, the kunoichi drew her own kunai, holding it defensively in front of her. This was all going to end now.

They charged forward, head to head with their kunai pulled front.

_Don't._

A sudden trigger in his conscience caused him to pull back his kunai in the last moment, and instead he threw a punch straight under the kunoichi's jaw. At the same split second, Susumu felt a sharp pain beneath his ribcage as the sharp end of the kunai pierced through his skin.

He staggered backwards, wincing in pain. However, the kunai hadn't hit any of his vital areas, which was strange because the kunoichi could have done so easily. Looking up, he noticed that her helmet had been thrown off by his punch, releasing long blond strands of the kunoichi's hair. Susumu was stunned. A foreign ninja.

She looked up at him, holding her face and her hair back ''Why won't you finish me.'

'And you,' came the shinobi's response, 'Why don't you aim for a vital area.'

'I'm sick and tired of being bossed around by people.' She closed her eyes and gave a short laugh. 'like a cheap hairdresser.'

'You don't go easy on girls huh. I lost a molar.' Spitting out a tooth, the kunoichi continued. 'I can't deal with you any longer, with my hair like this.'

'Goodbye Inspector Yamazaki Susumu. Next time we meet, we'll not be ninjas.'

Susumu stared at her in silence. 'I pray that I'll never see you again.' He stated simply.

Another cold laugh. 'Me too.'

Then she was gone.

-

'My name is Kitamura Suzu! I'm Master Yoshida's servant!' A white haired boy stood before the closed wooden gate that towered over him. His fists were clenched, pounding hard on the gate as he yelled as loudly as possible. Suzu was unsure if it were his throat or his knuckles that burned more.

He wasn't even sure how long he had been calling out to Katsura and the rest of the Choshu members. An eternity no less. Yet only the sound of crickets replied his desperate cries for help.

'The Miburo.. The Shinsengumi have arrived! Please help us! Please!'

Still nothing. And every second he wasted, he knew his sensei would need him more. A simple task as such, yet he could not fulfill it. Yoshida sensei was depending on him...

'Katsura-san! You can hear me right? Hurry! Open the gates! There aren't many enemy soldiers! We can still win! Please.. Lend us your troops!' He pounded at the gate once again, trying to well up enough strength to break the gigantic gate off its hinges.

The silence of the night was driving him insane. No sound of the sliding of the shoji doors, nor the shuffling of the footsteps. Suzu felt his shoulders sag in failure, and hot tears sprang up at the corner of his eyes.

'Damn it..'

They were being killed. One by one, by the miburo wolves. What if.. What if it was Yoshida sensei's turn?

'Damn it..' His voice rose, louder now, through gritted teeth.

'Damn it!' The tears rolled freely down his tanned skin, and his nails dug into his own palms. Where were they? Their allies?

'DAMN IT!' Suzu found himself yelling in anger, no more pleading. He was furious now, with those cowards who called themselves revolutionists.

'Are you that scared of the Miburo? Don't you even care if they kill your own comrades!' Hatred burned within him, and it grew with every sentence he spat out.

'And you... CALL YOURSELVES AN IMPERIALIST WHO FIGHTS FOREIGNERS!'

The wooden gate gave no response, nor did the still night sky. Suzu collapsed, his nails scratching the wood as he slid down to the cold concrete floor in exasperation. He had given everything he had, he had pleaded to them, yelled at them, and yet no one gave him any response. Right now, he was all alone.

_No.. There's still sensei._.

But that was exactly why he was here. To save his master. Crawling up again, he clung to the gate in desperation. 'I'm here.. as a servant..' He said between sobs. 'For master..'

'Please..' he cried. 'Please don't kill him.'

-

'Don't move.' Takara scolded, slapping Heisuke on the shoulder.

He was now seated upright, and squirming out of her grasp as she tried to bandage his forehead. 'You're tying it too tight.' The eighth unit captain complained, moving away again.

'I wish the wound was deeper. Then at least you wouldn't be conscious enough to complain.'

'And I never knew you had girly fingers.' Heisuke said again, completely ignoring whatever Takara was saying.

She sighed in frustration and tied the knot on the bandage. 'Get up get up! If you weren't so busy getting yourself killed then we'd be able to go and help Tetsunosuke.' Takara lifted him up and tried to steady him as he placed an arm over her shoulders.

Heisuke opened his mouth to say something, but he was cut off by a sudden piercing hoarse cry. And it sounded just like Yoshida.

'Damn it.' She cursed grimly. 'He should be dead by now.'

As if to make matters worst, they heard another scream, this time of higher pitch. 'Tetsu!' Heisuke turned to that direction in anxiety. He paled, and looked at the fourth unit captain. 'It can't be.. Is puppy-kun actually fighting Yoshida?'

Takara swallowed hard. 'Shinpachi should be there by now. What the hell is going on?'

-

Shinpachi lunged forward to help, as the page tumbled on the ground screaming in pain. However, he was stopped by Okita himself. Souji was already semi-conscious and his ribs were broken, yet he crawled painfully towards the 2nd unit captain and Kondo-san. 'Please wait..' He whispered as he winced in pain. 'Don't help him now.. He's okay.'

The short captain turned to look at the scenario before him. Yoshida had already been stabbed in both legs, and his left shoulder was severely injured, leaving him to fight depending on just one arm. Tetsunosuke on the other hand, was still able to move quickly, and the only injury he had was the slash that ran across his right ear. He was bleeding rather badly, but Yoshida was losing much more blood.

'He.. He will win.' Souji said.

Sure enough, Tetsunosuke was already up, with his two swords in each hand. He lunged forward once again, blocking the attack Yoshida threw at him, and twisting his body forward with a kick. Yoshida brought his katana down with as much strength as he could muster, threatening to slice the page in half. The boy had crossed his swords in defence, but the blow was hard enough to make him fall back down onto the ground.

Yoshida raised his katana a second time, standing directly above the page who lay beneath him.

_Not yet.._

The katana came down only to slice into the concrete, sending small fragments flying. Tetsunosuke somersaulted under the older man's legs, and before Yoshida could turn around in time, the page had swung his sword upwards, slicing Yoshida's right arm cleanly off. There was a blood curdling cry, as the Choshu leader crumpled to the ground in a pool of his own blood.

Tetsunosuke had Yoshida down, and his weapon pointed to the man's neck. 'Why didn't you kill me? Back then, you must have noticed me hiding behind my father's back.. Why are you trying to kill me now?'

Yoshida narrowed his eyes to look up at the boy, and he hissed. 'What. Are you talking about.'

The page stood stunned momentarily, his eyes wide in fear. Yoshida picked up the broken blade of his katana with his mouth, and in that split second, pushed him down flat on the ground, the blade inching towards the young boy's neck.

Tetsunosuke gripped his sword, but yet he couldn't bring himself to kill Yoshida. He was going to die if he didn't kill this man, and his senses screamed to him to save himself.

_I can't.. I can't kill him._

_But if I don't kill him.. I'll be killed.._

As the page closed his eyes tight, he was suddenly awakened by a strong stench, and a warm liquid that covered him completely.

The blood splattered all over him like rain, and the loud 'thump' of a body told him that it was all over.

-

Lugging another one of the bodies by its legs, Takara managed to successfully drag it outside the Ikeda-house. Another one of the soldiers quickly covered the body, aligning it with the others that already lay there. The death toll was much higher than any of them had expected, and this was excluding two deaths on the Shinsengumi's side.

At the other end of the building, Shinpachi was taking care of the few Choshu survivors.

'So this is everyone we captured, right?' He asked the troops, placing his hands on his hips.

'Yes sir!'

The second unit captain rubbed his chin thoughtfully before continuing. 'But some Choshu soldiers probably escaped. Go find them.'

'Yes sir!' Came the answer, accompanied by the scuffling of the soldiers.

Takara had gone and stood beside Heisuke, who was watching Shinpachi boss the troops around. The three of them were grimy and stained, with a few minor injuries on them. All of a sudden, they felt a strange ominous presence that sent a cold shiver down their spines.

'Damn it..'

A low and gruff voice cursed at them, its tone sounding extremely angry. The hair at the back of their necks stood up, and each slowly turned round to face the grim and furious face of the tenth unit captain.

'Do you have a problem?' Heisuke questioned his friend, who seemed to be growling at them.

'What is it Sano?' Shinpachi added, raising an eyebrow at the taller man.

Giving a loud grunt, Sanosuke made a quick reach for Shinpachi's arm, grabbing his friend's left hand in his. Spying the deep gash that ran beneath the redhead's thumb, his eyes immediately widened. Heisuke and Takara moved forward to see what Sanosuke was so upset about, and the three of them opened and shut their mouths, speechless. The tenth unit captain stood still for a few seconds, shaking in what seemed to be anger.

However, he sprang back to life, veins on his forehead as he bellowed at them 'DAMN YOU!'

'You got injured!' He cried, launching himself forward in a full body tackle to engulf his friends in a big group hug.

'If you die,' Sanosuke continued, squeezing them hard and shaking them from side to side. 'I'll kill you!'

After she had almost all the breath pressed out of her, Takara broke free of the giant's grasp and massaged her neck. A lantern in the doorway caught their eye, and a group of unfamiliar people stepped in.

'My, my, my,' The stranger said, 'That was great work! Master Katamori will be glad indeed. Excuse me for the late introduction. I am Katsuya Sakon of the Aizu clan.'

'Eh?' Sanosuke released Shinpachi and Heisuke, and made a hostile face at Katsuya. 'You guys just came…?' Before he could complete his sentence, Shinpachi had leapt up and wrapped his arm around Sanosuke's mouth to shut him up

'Thank you for coming Aizu guys.' The red head said more politely, 'Sorry for asking all of you to come, but we've already finished anything.'

'_Especially when we sent for reinforcements ages ago.' _ Heisuke muttered, rolling his eyes.

'The Shinsengumi can stand down. We were delayed while coming to the city, but now that we're here, everything's safe. Now then, Charge!' Katsuya demanded, leading his troops in without waiting for a response.

Sanosuke looked at them incredulously. 'What the fuck? You're taking our..!'

'Now, now,' Shinpachi said again, covering his friend's mouth. 'No need to cause a ruckus.'

'He's right.' Takara nodded. 'We have someone fending off evil.'

As Katsuya led the Aizu in, a dark figure stood in their way. 'Ohh Hijikata-dono,' Katsuya began, but he was cut off sharply by the demon vice-commander.

'We don't need your help. Please leave.'

'Oh don't say that, just work with the Aizu on this…'

The vice-commander turned around sternly and said in a cold voice, 'From this point onwards, you guys will only be in the way.'

'Now Toshi..' A third voice interrupted, proving to be the commander himself. He was leading two other soldiers behind him, who were carrying a dead body. 'Don't be so rude to the Aizu.'

'Kondo-dono!' Katsuya smiled as he saw the much friendlier commander.

'Excuse me, we're taking a count of the dead, so could you make way?' The commander smiled, stepping forward towards Katsuya and stretching out his blood-stained hand. 'Come on now, or your clothes will get dirty.'

Katsuya paled, stepping back to avoid any blood on his uniform. 'R.. Right.' He stammered, motioning to his troops to align themselves, outside the inn.

Kondo chuckled heartily and turned to Hijikata, placing a hand on his friend's shoulder. 'Toshi, leave everything to me. I'll take it from here. He's in the tatami room in the back. Go to him.'

Without hesitating, Hijikata sped off.

-

'Careless aren't you?'

A familiar voice came from behind Takara, who was now on her own, seated outside the Ikeda house and dressing her wounds. Without turning around, she answered casually with a shrug of her shoulders. 'I happen to think I did pretty well.'

She continued to tug at the bandages, wrapping it around her left upper arm. Susumu stepped out of the shadows, approaching the young girl. 'So what happened? Scratched yourself on a loose nail?' He asked her sarcastically, watching her struggle with just her right hand to tie a knot.

'Bahftard shtabbed me in thfee ahm from behind.' Takara answered, biting one end of the bandage with her teeth.

The shinobi gave a sigh in exasperation and pulled the bandage gently from out of her mouth. He squatted down beside her, tying the knot easily around her wounded arm.

'Thanks.' She said, 'How was your business on the roof? Cleared?'

'Pretty much.' He answered, giving no emotion as usual. 'Just that one kunoichi was enough to keep me busy though. Strangely, she was a foreign ninja.'

'Foreign ninja?' Takara echoed, the words striking a sense or familiarity in her mind.

'Yea. There was no mistake about it. She had long blonde hair. And blue eyes.'

Takara gave a rude scoff. 'Bet she was pretty.'

'Pretty?'

'Yea. Wasn't she? After all, you could notice her _beautiful _blue eyes and long flowing blond hair. She must've been pretty right?' She snapped back, slightly more icy than usual.

Susumu raised an eyebrow. 'Quite. She said the next time we meet, we won't be ninjas.' He added on purpose, causing the fourth unit captain to suddenly choke on nothing in particular. She turned up to the shinobi and glared at him coldly.

'Ah. I see. Next time eh.'

Running his fingers through his hair, he let out another sigh. Perhaps at least a little _concern _of his injuries (if he had any) or how the fight went. Or maybe compliment him on a job well done. Yet the first thing she had done was accuse him of looking at some other woman, no less an enemy.

'Takara,' Susumu started, unable to help but muse slightly to himself. 'Are you, jealous?'

-

Hijikata often wondered how long Souji was going to lie to him.

As a vice-commander, he was often calm and collected, never anxious or seen to lose his cool. And yet when he had heard how Souji had been badly injured, his heart raced and he felt the bile rise in his throat. In fact, his heart was beating so loudly that it drowned out the sound of his quick-paced footsteps.

And here he was, holding Souji in his arms, the usually unbeatable first unit captain was now so fragile, his ribcage broken, and the blood..

Souji's own blood that stained his palms and the corners of his mouth.

_Not all of this is my blood._

The young captain had still managed to brush the matter off cheerfully, obviously trying to cover up the fact that he was actually dying from the inside. Sometimes Hijikata wondered too, if anything would ever wipe that smile off the first unit captain's face. Even in the darkest moments, Souji had always remained cheerful, his smile like a mask that covered any fear or troubles brewing inside his mind.

But masks had to come off one day.

_Don't worry.._

Funny how he had been the one holding the injured captain in his arms, and yet it was Souji who was telling him not to be worried. It wasn't supposed to be that way. It wasn't supposed to be that way at all. No, he was the one who was supposed to be comforting Souji. But then again, it's not like Souji was supposed to become so weak and vulnerable.

Hijikata looked sadly at the young man who still wore a bright and cheery expression, as if he was in no pain at all. True, perhaps this was a way that Souji took to ensure he stayed strong emotionally, and that he wasn't afraid of anything as long as he smiled.

But for Hijikata, no amount of smiles, or comforting words, would ever wipe away the anguish and fear that he kept inside of him, now that he knew Souji was not as invincible as he pretended.

-

Suzu stood stunned, at the back of the Ikeda house. The place was now silent, unlike when he first left it. No more clashing of katanas, or battle cries, or deathly screams. It was still, silent.

It was dead.

But it was the sight of the flaming red hair he saw in front of him, that familiar red hair. The same familiar boy now clad in an all too familiar bright blue haori. Suzu wished he were hallucinating, but his brain wouldn't stop from putting two and two together. That red-haired page didn't see him standing there, staring wide-eyed at the bloody body that lay on the ground.

_Sensei.. How could he.. How could Tetsunosuke.._

Suzu inched forward, each footstep getting heavier and heavier as he approached the body. He hoped that at some point, a giant vortex would appear and suck him up, and he would wake up in his room finding it was all a nightmare.

He reached a pool of blood, and stared into his own reflection. There was so much blood everywhere, Suzu wanted to scream. No, he wanted to grip and tear at his own hair and laugh, laugh it all off.

'Sensei.. I've returned.' He said, looking at his sensei's body. 'We must go, the miburo are coming.'

Yoshida-sensei had promised after all. This was his home. Sensei was his home. And Suzu had returned home. Yet now the Miburo were coming, so the only thing he could do was bring sensei with him.

The body made no response. Suzu got down on his knees, feeling the blood soak into the cloth of his pants. Panicking, he looked around frantically, his eyes darting from side to side. He placed his outstretched palms flat on the ground, feeling the sticky liquid running between his fingers. He moved his hands about, searching in that puddle of blood.

'Sensei.. You don't have your arms..'

A gleam caught his eye, and Suzu turned to see his sensei's katana blade slit into the rim of a pail of water. He lowered his head, his eyes downcast as he picked up his sensei's severed head. Dipping his palms into the pail, he scooped up a handful of clean water, pouring it over Yoshida's face, washing off the bloodstains.

'Here, now you're all clean.' The white-haired boy embraced his master's face with his own hands, whispering, 'Let's go home sensei.'

He wrapped his arms around Yoshida's head, and picked it up gently. Tears ran down his face, but he smiled, cradling his sensei's face in his arms.

From now on, he would never be separated from Yoshida-sensei. Never.

-


	17. Fireworks

It was the day of the Gion festival. The morning was lazy and surprisingly still in the Shinsengumi. Hijikata had strictly often emphasized that as soldiers, they didn't celebrate. In addition, it was only yesterday that they had carried out the raid on Ikedaya. If they let their guard down by going out to celebrate, there might be a chance the Choshu would launch a surprise attack on them. 

Takara was strolling to Okita's room, as the first unit captain had yet to fully recover from his injuries in the previous battle. She also guessed that the vice-commander, his page, and Susumu were in the room with Souji.

Just as she reached for the shoji door, she heard loud noises coming from inside the room, namely the comedian three. They were talking agitatedly and obviously did not think twice about keeping their voices down. Suddenly, the shoji slid open, and the three of them ran out of the room, grinning from ear to ear.

As Shinpachi dashed past her, he grabbed her wrist, dragging Takara along with where ever they were going.

'Wait..' She huffed breathlessly, having no choice but to run as they pulled her along. 'Where are you taking me?'

Sanosuke let out a loud chuckle and smiled, the kind of smile and the twinkle in the eye which someone had when they were up to something. Especially when they were up to no good.

'Takara-chan, did you think we'd let you bore yourself on the day of the Gion festival itself?' Heisuke teased, looking at her gleefully.

'Hold it hold it!' Takara dug her heels into the ground, slowing Shinpachi down. The three men finally stopped as well, and stood around her in a circle, looking down at the fourth unit captain. 'Where exactly are we going? Or what are we even doing?' She asked curiously, her gut feeling telling her it was not going to be anything good.

'The same as every year of course!' Heisuke exclaimed, wrapping an arm around her shoulder. 'We'll go to Shimabara, have sake, and watch fireworks tonight! Except Hijikata-san wouldn't let us go on the roof this year.'

'Shimabara?' Takara echoed, staring at the three as if they were insane.

'Oh come on Takara. Tie a high ponytail, put on your usual baggy clothes, don't talk, and no one would know you're a girl anyway.' Shinpachi said a matter-of-factly.

'No, no. Why on earth would I want to go to Shimabara?' She said again, flailing her arms slightly in exasperation.

'For the women?' Sanosuke said.

'Eh I don't think so Sano.' Shinpachi said, trying to refrain from the urge to hit his friend on the head. 'To drink sake of course,' he added, looking back at Takara.

'I'm underage.'

'Not with us you're not.' Came Heisuke's reply, looking expectantly at the young girl.

Takara hesitated. The sake sounded pretty good to her. However, before she could answer, the three of them gave a shrug of their shoulders and grabbed her once again, pulling her off with them to Shimabara for their fun.

-

'Nagakura-san! Todou-san! Harada-san! It's nice to see you again. I see you've brought a friend as well.' The lady at the entrance greeted them with a warm welcome. The women there immediately came towards them, fawning over the captains.

'My, my, what a pretty boy! Is he your brother Todou-kun?' One of them asked, patting Takara on the head. Takara shuddered slightly, inching herself away. She looked around and recognized a few of the faces she had seen when she last came to Shimabara undercover. Luckily, none of them were the ones she had been closer to.

'He's just a good friend. Although he looks rather feminine and small, he's not really as young as he looks, and he can be a devil.' Heisuke grinned, motioning to Takara. Then to the woman before them, he said, 'The usual room please.'

The four of them were led to a relatively large room, and Takara quickly sat down, folding her arms. The shoji was then slid open again, and in came a few of the young women bringing sake bottles and cups, and some with a shamisen.

One of the younger girls approached Takara, tipping the sake bottle into a cup for the fourth unit captain.

'Thanks.' Takara said, smiling back at her. The young girl blushed immediately, bowing her head.

_… That wasn't supposed to happen._

'Nagakura-kun, you've grown so much more attractive since the last time we saw you.'

Takara raised an eyebrow, guffawing slightly at the comments she heard from the women. To stop herself from laughing, she quickly raised her cup of sake.

'And what's your name pretty boy?' One of the women had seated down behind her, and placed her hands on Takara's shoulders. This caused Takara to suddenly choke on whatever sake she had drank. Before the woman could get a better look at the so called 'feminine boy', Takara stood up as fast as she could, her face slightly flushed.

'Ahh. I forgot I've got something important to attend to. Sorry!' She proclaimed, glaring at the three men, who were already breaking into fits of laughter.

Then before any of the other women could approach her, she dashed out of the room, still feeling uncomfortable and made her way out of the building.

-

Takara had made a bee line for the Shinsengumi headquarters, weaving in and out of the crowds of people. Forget the sake. That harrowing experience wasn't worth it. At that current moment, the building was deathly quiet. Having been in her room for a few hours already, the sun was setting and night was approaching.

_So much for celebrating this year,_ shesighed to herself. There wasn't anyone whom she could with anyway. Tetsunosuke was no where in sight, and Okita was probably still with the vice-commander. Takara decided she was too bored and lazy to go watch the fireworks that night as well.

'Staying in at a time like this?' A shinobi at the doorway interrupted her thoughts. 'That's not very like you.'

Sitting upright, she retorted, 'Look who's talking.'

Susumu walked into the room, sitting down beside her. 'I've never liked festivals. Besides, I've already seen what there is to see at the Gion festival.'

'You have? With who?'

'The Ichimura brothers.' He replied in a bored tone.

'Them? I thought you weren't on good terms with Tatsunosuke. After he tried to punch you.' Takara said suspiciously, staring at the older boy.

'We're on even grounds.'

'You punched him!' Takara leapt up, wondering whether their book keeper was still conscious, and if not, where Susumu had tossed his unconscious body.

'Don't be silly.' He snapped back, 'I couldn't bear to. So at the last moment I had to open up my fist. That slap probably didn't hurt much.'

Heaving a sigh of relief, she relaxed and sat down again. Leaning back with her shoulders hunched against the wall, Takara closed her eyes in the silence that followed.

'The festival is going to be over soon.' Susumu said again, looking out at the darkened sky. 'Are you sure you're going to stay in here?'

Opening one eye, Takara looked at the shinobi. 'Yes. I don't feel like going to see what's happening.'

'Not even the fireworks?'

'No. Not even the fireworks.'

This time it was Susumu's turn to sigh. He never understood why Takara was always being so, troublesome. That stubborn headed girl would definitely not admit that she wanted to watch the fireworks indeed. And he knew that if she didn't, she'd probably regret it and start complaining later.

The shinobi got up from his seat and turned to Takara. 'Get up.' He said.

Takara looked back with a puzzled expression. 'For?'

'Just get up.' He even extended his hand to pull her up.

Making an irritated grunt, she placed her hand in his and he hoisted her up to standing position. Susumu walked out of the room, with Takara following behind him.

-

Sanosuke took a big, slow gulp as he swallowed the warm sake. 'But still,' he started, placing the cup down on the table, 'I still feel pretty bad for abandoning Takara-san.'

'Technically, she abandoned us.' Heisuke wagged a finger as-a-matter-of-factly. 'Running off like that, without a word. Tsk.'

Shinpachi gave a short laugh, tipping himself another cup of sake. 'I always expected her to be man enough to take this on though. Guess I was wrong.'

'Oh come on.. There's no way she could pull it off in Shimabara itself.' Came Heisuke's reply.

Sanosuke protested, 'But she's grown up with us for so long! She's lived and breathed the same lifestyle as we have. It's almost she's like a sis- no, a brother to us.'

'But she's still a girl nonetheless, Sano. Don't you agree, Shinpattsan?'

'I don't see it that way…'

'Oh come on Shinpattsan, I know you do. If you can imagine yourself sleeping with her, that means you still see her as a girl.'

Shinpachi spluttered out his sake at Heisuke's comment, and shot the other man a death glare. 'What! Honestly Heisuke, you've got a foul mouth on you. All your twisted and warped logi-'

'Admit it! Look, your face is getting red already.'

'It's the damned sake!'

'Don't lie to me. I know you've thought about it before-'

'I NEVER DID.'

'No? Where are your balls Shinpattsan?'

'WHY YO-' The redhead lunged forward and tackled his friend to the ground, in an effort to silence him with a few punches.

'Sigh.' The tallest of the three sat watching the commotion before him. Sanosuke stared out of the window and looked at the dark sky. The fireworks would be coming out soon.

'If only the vice-commander had let us have our usual place on the rooftop.' Giving an annoyed snort, he frowned and lifted his sake cup.

'That man is always sucha spoilsport...'

-

Elsewhere on the roof of the Shinsengumi headquarters, a certain vice-commander sneezed.

'What's the matter Toshi? Coming down with a cold?' Kondo grinned at his friend beside him.

'Nonsense.' Hijikata replied in annoyance.

'But Hijikata-san… Why did you tell those comedians they weren't allowed to come up here?' Souji asked, frowning, patting Saizou who lay in his lap asleep.

'Idiot. If I had allowed them up here, they'd be too much of a ruckus to leave us in peace to enjoy the fireworks.'

'That's mean of you Hijikata-san.' Souji pouted, but then broke into a light peal of laughter.

Suddenly, there was a soft clattering of a metal tray, and a short redhead huffed his way up onto the roof.

'So that's where you all were! I was looking all over the place.' Tetsunosuke exclaimed, pointing a finger accusingly at the three of them.

'Ahh Tetsunosuke! You made it just in time!' Kondo replied, laughing and motioning for the young page to sit down.

'Tetsu-kun!' Souji beamed as well, excited as a child. 'Come and watch the fireworks with us!'

'What are you doing here, Ichimura?' Came the unfriendly tone of the vice-commander, who narrowed his eyes at his page.

'Ehh I've brought you tea!' Tetsunosuke proclaimed, lifting the tray of steaming cups, not discouraged by his master's less-than-warm welcome. 'And snacks too.'

Hijikata hesitated, then finally settled down grudgingly, taking a long puff from his pipe.

'Alright.' He muttered, 'but the tea had better be satisfactory.'

Before the page could argue back about his tea-making skills, the dark but clear sky was decorated with an array of bright colours, like a painting over a canvas, the little spots like tiny bulbs that lit up the place with the loud sound of the fireworks going off.

-

Tetsunosuke and the others were not the only people on the rooftops that night.

Elsewhere nearby, two other lone figures were on the roof of the other side of the Shinsengumi headquarters. One was sitting down; palms resting against the solid roof tiles and head tilted back to watch the fireworks.

The other stood behind the first, arms crossed and chin tilted slightly to gaze upon the beautiful scenario in the sky as well.

'You're right…' The one sitting down mumbled, her lips curved into a slight smile. She got up and stood next to her companion. 'I'm glad you brought me here.'

And she meant it. Takara realized how much she would have been missing out if Susumu had not dragged her up to the roof the catch the fireworks that night.

'Don't mention it.'

Okay. So maybe he wasn't exactly the best person to enjoy the festival with. Something about him made the festivities…… less festive. The least he could do was at least show some enthusiasm. But that was Susumu for you. Even if he felt anything, the last thing he would do was show it.

She continued to gaze at the bright shower of colours in the sky, the lights casting the surroundings into shades of red, blue and green. There was silence between them for a long time, except for the crackling of the fireworks, and the occasional clashing of the cymbals on the streets where the festival was going on.

'She's here too.' Susumu closed his eyes, as if whispering to himself. 'She always liked the fireworks.'

Takara looked down at her feet, not knowing what to say. _Ayu-nee…_

He continued, musing slightly to himself. 'I never did watch it with her. Not once.'

'I guess I took it for granted. Never realized how much it would've meant to her. And more still, to me.'

Susumu looked up at the sky, and a painful expression crossed his face. 'Nee-san… How do you feel looking down on your failure of a younger brother…'

'Shut up.' Takara cut him off, her hand placed on his shoulder. 'Ayu-nee, is happy.'

The shinobi turned to look at her, the determined look and the firm tone of her voice. There were currently a lot of emotions flooding through him, the kind of thing he wasn't used to at all.

Somehow he believed what she said, that Ayu-nee was happy. Then there was this other part of him that was pretty annoyed at her for telling him to shut up. Usually it should've been the other way around.

He opened his mouth to say something, but no words came out. Apparently this time his brain didn't supply him with any crude or sarcastic remarks. Finally giving up with a shrug of the shoulders, he pulled her into him and held her in a tight embrace.

What they called a hug, he presumed.

There was something in Takara that drew him towards her, and the warmth he felt when they were close against each other was indescribable. Despite being the usually organized shinobi he was, Susumu never bothered to figure all of it out. There were too many unanswered questions and things he couldn't comprehend.

But it was enough to know that Takara felt the same way, when she buried her face into his chest, her head fitting perfectly under his chin as she held herself close to him.

'What makes you so certain that she's happy?' He asked her, closing his eyes as he savoured the mild scent of flowers from her.

'I just know so.' Came her reply.

'And I'm pretty sure she'd be happier,' Takara added, moving her head slightly back and looking into the older boy's eyes. 'If you actually enjoyed this festival.'

Susumu gave a short 'tch' of disapproval and leaned forward gently, their foreheads and noses closed in and pressed against one another.

'Idiot. What makes you think I'm not?


	18. Post Ikedaya

Today was a very special day.

The Shinsengumi headquarters was surprisingly spic and span, unusually quiet, and all the soldiers were on their best behaviour. In fact, it looked perfect from the outside, supposedly as well from the inside.

Well of course it had to look perfect. One of the Damiyo was paying a visit, together with his daughter, to the Shinsengumi. Although the motive of his visit was to give gratitude to the Shinsengumi for their success of the Ikedaya incident, Takara felt it was more of a hassle just to prepare for his visit.

While every other captain had their haori's on (just for the image) and their swords slung around their waist, the young fourth unit captain was wearing a simple plain kimono. And why? Simply because she was a girl.

'_Women aren't allowed in the Shinsengumi.' _Hijikata had sneered at her, throwing her the kimono in a bundle. _'You're lucky you can be a useful kunoichi. Heck I would've never agreed to let you be a soldier, nevertheless a captain. That Isami has always been too soft on you brats…' _

To think, after all that effort at Ikedaya, Takara couldn't even get an ounce or gratitude or praise. The instructions from the vice-commander had been simple, and anything but sweet.

When the guests arrive, keep your head low, be humble, and avoid communicating with any of the men.

Even the comedic trio were threatened with seppuku if they were caught talking to, or worst still – teasing, Takara.

The Damiyo was a typical, rather wizened old man. Like all the other Damiyo, he smelt of riches. His daughter, of course, was fair, beautiful, and gentle. Takara felt inferior enough to bury her head in a hole when she stood before the two guests.

'_Ahh yes. Takara-san is in charge of meals and housekeeping around here.' _Was Hijikata's brief introduction.

Kondo was away that day, leaving Hijikata in charge of welcoming the Damiyo and his daughter.

And that meant no more scowling, smoking-pipe, demon vice-commander. At least for that few hours.

-

'The Shinsengumi's actions at Ikeda were certainly commendable, Hijikata-san.' The Damiyo's voice rang through the room.

Hijikata gave a casual laugh in return. 'You exaggerate Katamori-san. It is merely our job as the Shinsengumi to protect the city.'

The petite lady sat next to her father, blushing, as she eyed the valiant vice-commander seated before her.

'Ahh, how noble of you, Hijikata-san.' The Damiyo nodded in agreement. 'Oh yes, is that page of yours that I've heard so much about here? I'd love to meet him.'

'Oh he is of not much importance. But since you have come all the way to meet him.. Ahh here he is.'

'I'm sorry to interrupt.' A younger sounding voice came from outside the room, as the shoji slid open, to reveal an orange-haired page. The boy placed the tray he was carrying in his arms, on the ground, and gave a slight bow.

'Let me introduce you to, Ichimura Tetsunosuke.' The vice-commander gestured to the page.

'Please call me Tetsunosuke.' The page stated politely, 'It certainly is a pleasure to serve both of you honourable guests.'

The Damiyo and his daughter stared, wide-eyed and their mouths hanging open.

Regaining his composure, the Damiyo immediately rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. 'Well, to be honest with you-'

'Father! Don't say _that_!' His daughter cut him off, slightly embarrassed.

'No, no. Since it's untrue, it'll be alright to say it.' The Damiyo said to his daughter, reassuringly. 'We've heard from rumours that the vice-commander Hijikata was a 'blood-thirsty' demon and just an 'uncouth' ronin, and Tetsunosuke an 'unruly' and haggard puppy..'

Hijikata laughed again. 'Well that's us alright.'

'Haha of course not! Such rumours were obviously completely off the track!'

'Father! You're really too much..'

-

'Geez.' Hijikata lit his pipe, taking in a deep breath before exhaling a long stream of smoke. A vein appeared on his temple. 'Ronin eh? These people sure know how to talk, don't they, Yamazaki?'

The page reached for the back of his own head, and pulled off the orange wig, revealing his natural black hair hidden under the wig. 'Fukutaichou, I agree that the rumours about you were certainly untrue. However, the rumours about Tetsunosuke, it's almost as if someone from the Shinsengumi had leaked information about him.'

'Hah.' The vice-commander leaned forward and inspected the orange wig. 'Come to think of it, that wig looks awfully realistic.'

'Actually, I had to use animal fur to make this, which seems to be rather suitable..'

The shoji of the cupboard rattled, and was violently slid open as a short boy emerged, enraged. He ripped out the tape that covered his mouth, and undid the strings that was bound around his body.

'What's the big idea! Why the hell was I suddenly bound and gagged and tossed into a cupboard! And to have such rumours about me, that's too much!' Tetsunosuke exclaimed, storming towards the other two men. Okita stumbled out of the cupboard as well, and doubled over, laughing.

'Hahaha! Hijikata-san, Yamazaki-san, the both of you were excellent in your act!'

'Thank you, Okita-san.' Susumu replied, raising the wig out of the grasps of the page who was jumping to grab it.

'What do you mean 'act'? A part of me _is_ like that..' Hijikata muttered, annoyed with the ruckus. 'Thank you as well, Souji, for helping to catch the 'puppy'.'

'Tell me!' Tetsunosuke flared again, releasing his grip on Susumu. 'Which part of me are you all unhappy about? The tea I make now tastes great, and I don't even spill any of it anymore. I've learnt all the etiquettes and manners of being a page, plus I've grown taller, and my features are much more matured than before..'

'HIJIKATA-SAN!' A female voice from afar cut Tetsunosuke off, and the Damiyo's daughter burst into the room.

She saw the vice-commander seated on the ground, and the page she had seen before clearing up the teacups, the rest of the room silent and empty.

'May I help you, miss?' Hijikata asked politely, giving her his most charming look.

'I.. Well, I..' Her face turned a deeper shade of red as she covered her mouth with her hand shyly. 'I'm too much, bursting in like that. I'm sorry.. But your job as a vice-commander, it must be very dangerous isn't it? I.. I only want to remind you to be careful, and next time, would it be alright for me to write to you?'

'Of course.. of course…'

Okita stifled his laughter as he listened to the conversation in the room, while sitting on the bottom shelf of the cupboard.

Tetsunosuke, on the other hand, lay face down on the top shelf after being flung into the cupboard, face first, just a few moments before.

-

The following day, Takara and Tetsunosuke were in the training hall, practicing. Ever since the event at Ikeda-ya, the page had pretty much been recognized as one of the soldiers.

Takara had to admit that Tetsunosuke was good with his two sword technique. All the while she had been defending herself from his attacks, and was just about to launch an offense when Heisuke popped his head in.

'Yo! Puppy-kun, Takara-san, the commander's back from Edo!' He grinned from ear to ear.

'Eh? What're you so happy about? It's not like we haven't seen him for months or anything.' Tetsunosuke scrunched up his face suspiciously at Heisuke, lowering his bokken.

'Well, well, Kondo-san said he's recruited quite a number of new members while he was in Edo. And Itou sensei was invited to join as well!' Heisuke rubbed his hands together gleefully, obviously excited.

'Itou.. Itou.. That's the guy who trained you isn't it?' Takara thought back, trying to recall what Heisuke had mentioned about this 'Itou' guy before.

'Ahh! She remembers!'

'Hell yeah I remember.' She glared at him. 'He was the one responsible for bringing you up into the pervert you are now.'

The taller captain wagged a finger at Takara. 'Who are you calling a pervert?'

'And from what you said about _him _and the vice-captain?' A finger pointed accusingly to the short redhead who was lost in the conversation taking place.

'I have a fettish for cute things!'

'And your sensei doesn't?'

'No. He goes for more… Macho men.'

Tetsunosuke's stared eyes wide at the two captains. 'Macho… Men? What does that mean?'

Takara looked down to the page, and rubbed the back of her head, giving a sigh.

'You'll see.'

-

Hijikata stopped his bokken loaded with weights in mid air, sensing someone else in the empty training hall with him.

All the other soldiers were on their respective duties, and the hall was deathly quiet, except for the rare sight of the vice-commander himself, training.

'Ahh, don't let me stop you. I didn't come here to disturb you..' The other person said, almost sheepishly, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. The other vice-commander raised an apologetic hand, his accounting book peeking out from under his robe as usual.

'It's you.' Hijikata grunted, continuing with his training. 'This is a rare sight.'

'So what's the matter?'

'No, no. There's nothing.' Yamanami smiled, leaning against the wall as he watched his friend. He stared in silence, his thoughts flashing back to when they were kids.

'You're still the same..' He muttered, more to himself than to Hijikata. 'Always sneaking off to train on your own.'

'You're still the same as well.' Came the monotone reply. 'Knowing that I'm 'sneaking off to train on my own' and purposely coming to watch me.'

Yamanami laughed. 'Really? Haha, well I'm sorry..' He got up, walking out, but stopped midway in his tracks.

'I'm sorry..' he whispered, his voice no longer light and joking.

'Ever since we've come here,' he continued, 'I haven't been very cooperative. Whatever actions you suggest, I've always opposed it... Why? When it was last time, I never acted like this...'

Hijikata kept silent, but he had stopped his training, and the bokken was now lowered and pointing to the ground.

'Toushiro, I think it would be best if I were demoted to an accountant. I suit that job much better than as a vice-commander of the Shinsengumi. I can.. no longer draw my sword. Ever since the assassination of Serizawa Kamo, my katana has become completely rusted. There is no way I can fight with a sword like this.'

_The four men stood in the rain, black masks pulled over their faces, exposing only their eyes. Yamanami was still shivering slightly from the bloody murder of their former commander, and he questioned his companions, doubt swirling in his mind._

_'Do you think we really should have..?'_

_But the same cold voice to prevent his murmur, replied, 'What are you talking about. You use a person when the person is useful, and if he gets in the way, you kill him.'_

'Enough with the crap.' Hijikata said, glaring at the other vice-commander. 'Serizawa's assassination, Kondo, Souji and I, we all had a part to play in it. You're not the only one. Yet all of our katana's are perfectly fine, there's not a trace of rust, so why should there be on yours?'

Yamanami shut his eyes in anger, gripping the hilt of his own katana. 'That's why.. I'm not the same as all of you. And I never want to be!'

'Oh. Really? Then show me. I want to see how much rust there is exactly on your sword.'

'Go ahead. Draw it.'

Yamanami looked up in disbelief, beads of cold sweat forming around his forehead. His hand was still placed around the hilt of his weapon, gripping it tightly like a vice. His entire body trembled, and his katana unsheathed a few inches.

Hijikata now turned to face him in full stature. 'See, there's no rust at all.'

'It's perfectly fine.' he continued, 'it's still perfectly fine to kill.'

The accountant vice-commander's widened, his face paled slightly.

'Did I say anything wrong? It's true, isn't it?' Hijikata continued with his cruel taunting.

There was a long silence, except for the sound of Yamanami's ragged breathing. He lowered his head, his knuckles turning whiter as his grip around the hilt tightened even further. Then suddenly, he raised his katana, still sheathed, and flung it hard onto the wooden floor.

The sound of the crash echoed through the empty hall, and Hijikata was taken aback by the sudden outburst of a usually mild-mannered man.

The tension was broken by Yamanami's voice, which was now raised and full of rage.

'That's what I hate about you Toshi! You always think that everything's got to go **your **way! People who don't respect you, kill them! Those who get in your way, you kill them as well! What exactly do you take human life as!'

Stunned, Hijikata was silent.

'You..' Yamanami raised his finger and pointed accusingly at the cold-blooded man, his face red in anger. 'I AM NOT LIKE YOU!'

With that, a fuming Yamanami stormed out of the hall, his back turned against his old friend.

Hijikata, on the other hand, was dumbfounded, shocked and unable to say anything, for once in his entire life.


	19. Snow

"Regarding this time's recruitment, the Shinsengumi are very lucky to have Itou Kashitarou to be among the new members. Please welcome, our new military advisor, Itou Kashitarou!"

The commander himself gave the announcement to the ten captains, and two vice-commanders gathered in the room. Kondo raised his sake cup in the direction of the newest member, giving a hearty grin.

The captains looked on at Itou with interest, warm smiles on their faces.

Takara sipped her sake, (which she had begged the commander to let her drink along the rest) studying their new military advisor. She had heard about him, more than she wanted really, from Heisuke. Looking at the way Heisuke had turned out, she already didn't have a good impression of his sensei. So really, it didn't surprise her much when he had been introduced.

Outwardly, he looked like a scholar, intelligent, charming, charismatic, and well, almost prettier than she was. His hair was neatly held back in a bun, his eyebrows arched naturally in a coy way, and in his right hand, Itou carried a paper fan, often covering his mouth slyly when he laughed.

Everything about him was prim and proper, and there was an always present glint in his eye. It made her shudder, especially since those special 'glints' were directed at men. Takara wondered if Itou himself had gone to Shimabara for etiquette classes, because it certainly seemed that way.

"Way to go Itou-sensei!" Heisuke's loud outburst rattled the atmosphere. Of course he couldn't be blamed, as Heisuke had been a former pupil of Itou.

"Shut up you idiot!' Shinpachi leaned forward and yelled at his friend. "Are you drunk already?"

"I am not! This meal is a celebration isn't it! Look! Even Yamanami-san is here, even though he doesn't go for parties..."

"For god's sake Heisuke, just quieten down already!"

"What is a celebration without a lively atmosphere?"

"Idiot!"

Itou Kashitarou placed the fan to his face, tapping his chin lightly with the end of it. He listened to the laughter that took place all around him, and took note of each and every person who was in the room. Itou noticed that the commander was already red in the face, probably drunk. But at least he was enjoying himself. Yet, the two vice-commanders were a complete contrast from Kondo. Yamanami was joining in the warm conversation taking place, but his light-hearted smile looked more like it was forced. Looking at the lines on Yamanami's face, Itou guessed that the vice-commander was probably experiencing a troubled time.

Hijikata, on the other hand, seemed to be in hell. His sullen face told Itou that Hijikata was probably here against his better judgement. Throughout the entire meal, the demon vice-commander had not smiled even once. Instead he had taken a bored interest in his sake cup, even so, his brows furrowed in a frown as he sipped the sake.

Scanning the room once again, he laid his eyes upon the young girl who sat among the entire room of men. Itou's expression darkened slightly. The commander had of course, already informed him of this _girl_ in the Shinsengumi, but he could hardly bring himself to believe it. For Itou's case, he didn't exactly approve of girls. They weren't his type anyway.

As if sensing his stare on her, Takara looked up and met the eyes of the military advisor. The two of them stared at each other for a few moments, before breaking what was more like a glare, and looking away.

Turning his attention back to the two vice-commanders, noting they were probably as different as heaven and hell. There was something, fishy going on between them, and the military advisor was determined to find out what it was. Perhaps the Shinsengumi was not as perfect, and united, as it seemed from the outside. If there were deep rooted problems hidden and untold, he would just have to uncover them.

And he could, simply because Itou was an intelligent man.

-

"Ahh, but it certainly is fate, for such an unknown man like me, to be able to be accepted in the ever famous Shinsengumi." Itou laughed coyly, with only the commander and vice-commanders left in the room. They were supposed to be holding a meeting to discuss administrative matters, but apparently- as both Hijikata and Yamanami noted- the conversation was getting absolutely no where.

"Ahahaha, that's not true. The Shinsengumi are still inexperienced, we're all still in the process of learning. Really, we're nothing big at all..' Kondo answered modestly, laughing.

"Kondo-san, I am extremely glad to have been accepted into the Shinsengumi. I will join you all, and become the arms to wrap around and protect our beloved country.."

"Itou-san, you certainly know how to say words which can warm the heart!" The commander praised the other man, "I'm sure an intelligent man like you would be a big help to the Shinsengumi, and I'm confident you will get along with all the men here. They are all healthy, vibrant, and good-hearted young men as you will find!"

"Yes yes. I have noticed there are many young, fit men around.."

Both the vice-commander's who were merely listening, dropped their heads at his comment.

"Hijikata-san.."

At the sound of his name, Hijikata looked up to face the (dainty) military advisor. "Yes...?" He grunted, more than replied.

"Kondo-san has told me how your great leadership has led the Shinsengumi to be this prosperous.. And I must say, you certainly are a strikingly gallant man.."

A shiver ran down Hijikata's spine. "Thankyouverymuch." He replied coldly, in a slightly more defensive tone. "I have never had someone of the same sex say that about me."

"You must be the great pillar of strength of the Shinsengumi, Hijikata-san"

"You're too flattering. For what the Shinsengumi is now, you must thank Isami." The usually calm vice-commander was feeling freaked out. For once. And he tried to divert the conversation away from him as quickly as possible.

Kondo had no comprehension of whatsoever in terms of the situation before him. "Hahaha, Toshi! Why the sudden modest nature? Talking to a man such as Itou, who is the same age as you are, well you needn't be so humble."

Looking back and forth at the two men, Kondo continued, "Or are you afraid of offending Itou-san, that's why you're not making the usually crude remarks that you do?"

Hijikata could have dug a hole in the ground and buried his head. _Isami... _

Trying his luck once again, he turned to Yamanami instead. "Yamanami-san, I'm sure you would want to spend some time getting to know our newest member better as well, so perhaps I should take my leave first."

"No, no. It's alright. With you around, I'm sure the friendship between Itou and I will be able to be brought up another notch." Apparently, Yamanami had no idea what was going on either.

_...Keisuke.. Where are friends when you need them._

Getting up abruptly, Hijikata decided he couldn't take it any longer. "Pardon me. But I've just remembered I have things that are yet to be completed..."

"Ah, Toshi! Where are you going?" Kondo called after him, but the vice-commander continued to walk out.

"Sorry.. It looks like Toshi isn't too comfortable around people." Hijikata heard the commander's apologetic voice through the shut shoji door.

"It's okay. Who would've imagined he was such a shy man?"

Hijikata could have strangled himself.

-

After Itou had excused himself from Kondo and Yamanami, he strolled slowly along the corridors, thinking about what had just happened at their so called 'meeting'.

_Hijikata Toshirou.. _Itou mused to himself. _You are exactly the kind of man I've been looking forward to meeting._

_Well, it looks like things are going to get interesting. I'm looking forward to see what happens.. in this Shinsengumi.._

With his fan still held against his chin, Itou started with a chuckle, which soon became a long and loud, almost sinister, laughter.

In his room, Hijikata shuddered at the sound of the military advisor's maniacal laughter.

_Does that man have to laugh so loudly like that?_

On the other side of the building, three friends, Shinpachi, Sanosuke and Takara, felt themselves sweatdrop as they heard the chilling laughter. Giving Heisuke a look which screamed, "whatthehelliswrongwiththatguy?", Heisuke merely responded by waving his hand in a sinister manner as well.

"Come now, don't give that kind of expression. There's nothing to be afraid of. He prefers older men anyway..."

-

Winter was soon approaching. The trees were going bare, and it rained almost every other day, a sign that snow would soon arrive as well.

The Shinsengumi Vice-commander held his bamboo umbrella, feeling the raindrops beat heavily on the fabric above him. A wind picked up, scattering raindrops across his clothes, leaving a pattern of small, dark thin lines across at an angle.

But Yamanami Keisuke felt nothing.

The only thing about the weather that he noticed, was that it was identical to the weather on that fateful day. No, that nightmare. That very assassination that he partook in, yet which took a part of him. Ever since then, he had avoided as many battles as he could. In fact, Yamanami couldn't remember the last time he drew his katana.

Closing his umbrella in a dazed state, he settled on the wooden floor outside the training hall, staring deeper and deeper into the rain, as if trying to uncover a hidden message to answer his doubts. Instead, he was distracted by a rush of bright colours, and a new, yet familiar face appeared in front of him.

"Is something.. the matter?"

Slightly startled, the vice-commander blinked rapidly before he registered that it was their new military advisor, who had questioned him. Being from Edo himself, Yamanami was familiar with the latter. Both he and Heisuke had known Itou ever since the earlier days, and it was good news to them that their former acquaintance had decided to join them.

"No.. Not at all.."

Itou sat himself down beside Yamanami, the both of them awkwardly striking up a casual conversation. Itou watched carefully, the other's actions and behaviour, the gnawing suspicion within him growing stronger with every moment.

"Ahh you are indeed a very capable man Itou," Yamanami had eventually said, his voice distant and his tone soft. " The next time, the Shinsengumi are sure to need important people like you. Regarding any issues in the Shinsengumi, please do help out more."

The military advisor stayed silent for awhile, watching the older man's jaw clench slightly. He lay his fan flat across his lap, and after a moment of studying Yamanami, started, "Why do you talk in such a tone that makes people feel as if there were a big distance between you and the Shinsengumi?"

The vice-commander blinked, nervously. "Ahh.. Is that.. so? How.. How strange.."

"I'm completely suspicious..." Itou leaned forward, "on why you make it seem as if you dislike being in the Shinsengumi so much. And as everyday passes, the grudges and suspicions you hold for this place tend to grow stronger."

Yamanami could do nothing but stare bewildered at the intelligent man. Itou was reading him as if he were completely transparent, and even if it weren't entirely true, his words weighed down upon the vice-commander like a ton, making him feel even more guilt-ridden.

"Perhaps." the man continued, "you are unable to get along with Kondo-san? The way he runs this place is-"

"You're completely wrong!" The vice-commander finally spoke up, cutting Itou's words off. His voice trembled slightly, but his tone was firm. "The Shinsengumi, it can only improve from where it is now. Kondo-san is a leader who devotes his life to the Shinsengumi. And even if there were a problem.."

He stopped, looking down at the wet floor. "Even if there were a problem."

"It would be because of me."

-

Snow had fallen.

Trees were bare, the landscape painted white with snowdrift loading everything in sight. The air was chilly, but not too cold. Children around the neighbourhood were busy running about, enjoying the days of winter.

In the Shinsengumi however, all the captains were gathered in their meeting room, awaiting an addressing by their commander and vice-commander.

Hijikata cast a brief glance across the room, scanning for anyone who might have been absent, or anyone who did not belong. When he was satisfied, he gave a quick nod to the Commander, who cleared his throat.

"Everyone, as you know, you are gathered here because we have something to announce. The Choshuu have been building up their amenities lately, and are gathering even more men currently. As a result, it is no doubt that we may well be going into a full scale war anytime soon.

However, as you all know, the Shinsengumi has no previous experience in fighting a war. We fear that in a real scenario, the troops would be deeply demoralised or afraid, and as a result desert the Shinsengumi in fear for their lives. Therefore, as a result, we have created new rules, which every soldier of the Shinsengumi is required to abide by."

Hijikata spoke at this point, instructing the captains to take a look at a piece of paper that was given to them.

Takara opened the folded sheet carefully, staring at the black ink, the word 'RULES' staring back at her. Her eyes followed through each word, every rule making her open her eyes wider in shock and almost horror. The rules were simple and crude, almost ghastly.

_1.You must never deviate from the Samurai code_

_You may not leave the Shinsengumi_

_You may not raise money privately for you own personal purposes_

_You may not take part in other's litigation_

_You may not engage in private fights_

_If the captain of a unit is mortally wounded in a fight, all the members of the unit must fight and die on the spot._

_Even in a fight where the death toll is high, it is not allowed to retrieve the bodies of the dead, except the corpse of the leader in the unit. _

_If a Shinsengumi member engages in a fight with a stranger, be it on duty or not, if he is wounded and can't kill the enemy, allowing him to run away, even in the case of a wound in the back, he must commit seppuku._

_If any one of these rules are to be broken, the penalty is seppuku._

"But Hijikata-san.." Takara protested, 'Isn't this too much? Surely you're not serious about having the penalty for every rule to be Seppuku-" As unit captains, it also meant that they were to oversee the troops and take charge should any one of them break the rules. Worst still, if she herself were to break a rule, the same ruled applied for all of them.

'I want all of you to understand, that this is a war we're fighting. And that means we'll have to make the soldiers understand it as well, no matter what the means.' Hijikata responded, his expression completely unwavering.

Takara was about to open her mouth to protest again, but she was silenced by Shinpachi, who placed his hand over hers and giving her a silent shake of the head. The fourth unit captain begrudgingly backed down, still appalled by the severe and harsh rules that were implemented.

"If everyone understands, we'll move on to our next topic. As you know, our current headquarters is much too small to carry out any full-scale war preparations. Hence we have decided to move our headquarters tentatively to the _Nishihonganji Temple._"

This time it was Yamanami who protested rather violently. "I strongly object, Hijikata-san!"

The second vice-commander continued, enraged by the idea. "This is a temple we're talking about. What about the monks? How can you see yourself forcing soldiers to commit seppuku in such holy grounds?"

"You can't kill in a temple?" Hijikata countered, raising an eyebrow at his fellow vice-commander. "What kind of a logic is that? Besides, these monks have hidden many Choshuu refugees before. Perhaps this is also a way for them to repent for what they've done."

Yamanami was struck speechless at the other man's brisk comment. His face paled, and he shuffled back to his seating position, his body now stiff and tensed. He had never imagined that it would come to such a situation. To actually have blood cruelly spilled was bad enough, and for it to actually take place in a temple, it was both vile and disrespectful.

"Does everyone understand now?" Hijikata continued, turning to the other captains in the room.

"Yes sir." the others mumbled, still staring at the piece of paper in their hand.

What no one noticed was their other vice-commander, who stayed completely silent Yamanami told himself he would not allow such a disrespectful action to be taken. Not at least before his eyes.

-

"Damn.. You're lucky you're just a shinobi. The rules don't apply to you." Takara groaned, kicking up some snow with the end of her sandal. The ice melted onto her socks, numbing her toes slightly.

"Idiot. Of course it does." Her companion replied, tucking his hands into his garments to keep them warm.

"What about the samurai's code? That doesn't apply to you."

"Ahh well." Susumu shrugged. She did have a point. Shinobi's had no need to abide by the Samurai's code. Ayumu had told him that before. That their job was only to collect information, and bring it back safely no matter the cost.

Pulling against the scarf around her neck, Takara leaned against the wall of the one of the buildings. She picked up a handful of snow, pressing it tightly together and shaping it into a ball. When there was snow on the ground, there was bound to be snowballs in the air. Taking the opportunity when Susumu wasn't looking, she swiftly tossed the ball of snow aimed at the back of his head.

However, the snowball met with a kunai in mid air, which sliced it into a a thousand tiny lumps of harmless snow, and fell back to the ground. The kunai continued it's route, stopped only when it met a nearby tree trunk with a soft 'thunk'.

She stared at her disintegrated snowball on the ground, jaw slightly gaped awide. "You're no fun." Takara muttered, turning away from him.

"Sorry, quick reflexes." She heard him laugh. Before she could turn back to retort, something cold, or rather, a lot of somethings, hit her at the bottom side of her face. She gave a startled gasp, feeling the ice slide down her neck before it was soaked up by the scarf.

Shocked, she turned to the grinning shinobi who had just tossed the snowball at her. "Doesn't apply to you I see." He mused, looking at the stunned girl.

"You.. You.." Without completeting her sentence, she lunged at the older boy in a motion to grab him, but he back stepped carefully away from her grasp. Unfortunately, what caught him off guard was when Takara stretched out and wrapped her arms around his waist, pushing him backwards in a full body tackle, then sending the both of them flyng into a nearby snowdrift.

Takara lay on top of him, and he watched her get up, her face slightly red and shoulders shaking as she laughed. Finally standing up, she gave him her hand, and pulled him up as well. Susumu felt the cold water soak the back of his clothes, chilling his back slightly.

"How does it feel now?" Takara laughed, reaching up to brush the ice crystals out of his hair. Susumu stopped her, taking her hand in his own. He warmed her cold and wet fingers with his own palm, analyzing every calloused part of her hand as his skin brushed hers.

"Susumu.." He stopped, when he heard her call his name. She was no longer looking at him, but instead focused her gaze on a nearby barren tree. The shinobi waited patiently for the girl to go on.

"Susumu.. What if. What if we never get to see another winter again?"

Taken aback by her sudden change of topic, Susumu was speechless for the moment. He didn't need to say anything, as the fourth unit captain went on.

"We're going into war. A _bloody_ damned war." She stated simply, emphasizing on the word.

"And I'm scared Susumu. The Shinsengumi has never fought in such a large scale battle. People die in wars in massive numbers all the time. The event at the Ikeda-ya is nothing compared to what we're getting ourselves into now.."

He felt her grip tighten around his hand, her fingers squeezing his own.

"I don't want to die.." Takara muttered softly, blinking back a few tears which had found its way to her eyes. "I don't want to leave everything that I have now. I'm scared Susumu..."

"Hey, it's only a possibility." The shinobi lowered himself slightly to her eye level, cupping her cheek and tangling his fingers in her hair. "It may not even happen after all. You're just thinking too much."

She shook her head, pulling away. "No. We both know it. That's why the commanders are taking the extremes to prepare the Shinsengumi for war. The Choshuu are taking action against the Tokugawa already. There's no way.. There's no way we're going to be able to avoid it. And then-"

Susumu responded by kissing her. He did it without thinking twice. Simply, he placed his lips over hers, holding her firmly by the shoulders as if to reassure her. The cold weather had made her skin cool and a little more dry than usual, but she tasted the same way she always did.

Then he pulled away just as quickly, only to envelope her in a tight embrace, as if the snow would threaten to steal her away.

"I won't..." He breathed into her ear. "I promise I won't let you die."

The young man released her, giving her room to breathe. Only their fingers were still entwined, tightly locked in each others' grip. She shivered, both from the cold and the thoughts of war. He had promised to protect her, and she was comforted by that thought. But it wasn't enough. Takara needed more than that.

"Promise me." Takara insisted, looking into his eyes with a gaze full of hope. "Promise me you won't die yourself. I want to be assured that you'll be alive, no matter what."

However, the shinobi untangled his fingers, and dropped her hands. He could protect her, he knew, with everything he had. Even his life. But the only thing he could not promise, was that he would be completely sure that he would not die. How could he assure her his life, if he himself were unsure what fate held for him? How could he make a promise that could be broken, that would give her only false hope?

"I.." Susumu found his voice, wondering if it were better to assure her than leave her all disconsolate.

He inhaled deeply. "I pr-"

They were interrupted by the sound of shuffling, and one of the soldiers appeared before the two. Susumu recognised the man as one of the soldiers from the Investigation Unit, and the man quickly bowed before his leader.

"Yamazaki-san," he said urgently, still bowing, "The Taichou and Fukutaichou have demanded for the Investigation Unit immediately take action. You must report to them at once." The man drew a piece of paper, and handed it to Susumu. He opened the paper, his eyes scanning the content quickly.

Takara watched the shinobi's jaw clench and he abruptly folded the piece of paper again, tucking it back into his kimono.

"What... What's the matter?" She asked him, her brows furrowing in worry at his troubled expression. The both of them forgot about the conversation they had previously been holding.

Susumu turned towards her, his eyes shut tightly as placed his fingers on the temple of his forehead. This time the situation was worse than anything he had ever encountered.

"Takara.." He started, in a deadly serious tone,

"Yamanami-san... has left the Shinsengumi."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Information on the rules have been taken from Wikipedia.

Sorry for taking uberly long to update, and even so the quality has been dropping lately aye? Pfft I haven't been having much inspiration lately, and I get really bad cases of writer's block sometimes. Anyhow it'll improve, I hope.

Oh yes, and after about 18 chapters, I realised I've never taken the chance to thank everyone who has reviewed and read, for doing so.

Well, so thanks to all who have taken the effort to leave a review! It's a really great feeling when I log in and find people have left a review, and I really appreciate you guys for doing so. Yes! It's people like these who keep me going:D


	20. Yamanami Keisuke

It had already been three lonely nights.

Akesato felt her left foot go numb from sitting in the same position for hours, but she didn't even raise her head. Her limp body was rested on the floor, her head lowered on the window sill.

She had been waiting. Patiently at first, but even so, patience has its limits. And now it seemed if he still would have yet to return, she would scream. This was all his fault. Where was he? Why hadn't he informed her of his whereabouts? Naturally, she blamed him.

The scratching on the shoji annoyed her, causing the thoughts in her mind to spin even faster. Despite continually emphasizing how she wanted to be alone, the girls were constantly checking up on her. It wasn't their fault that they were worried, but sometimes, all she needed was solitude. Undoubtedly, the only comforting companionship would have belonged to the man she loved, and that was what she craved so much for the past few days.

Akesato blinked her crystal blue eyes, turning to the intruder of her privacy. It turned out to be Saya, and this time the mute girl held a letter in her hands.

Like a predator, the woman immediately leapt up, grabbing the letter eagerly with trembling hands.

Saya backed out of the room politely, watching her geisha sister scan the contents of the letter with teary eyes, and a shaking lower lip. She knew the letter was from that man who often came to visit Akesato, and she was happy that the older woman would finally regain her happiness.

_Meet me at the bridge nearby tonight._

Akesato crumpled the letter, holding it tightly close to her chest. There was no hesitation or doubt in her mind.

Grabbing the nearest cloak, she fled.

-

Her wooden sandals clunk against the empty bridge, the soft sound echoing in the silence of the night. It is cold, and Akesato pulls the cloak tighter around her, the cloth covering her hair and the lower region of her face.

He is nowhere to be found, and she feels her heart drop as disappointment overcomes her. Perhaps it had been just a prank, or maybe he had no intention of seeing someone as unworthy as her after all.

_Akesato.._

Her mind begins to play tricks on her, and she swears she hears that warm familiar voice whisper her name.

_Akesato, I'm here.._

She widens her eyes, and looks down over the side of the bridge, to catch a silhouette standing under the bridge. And she feels her own heart leap for joy. Without thinking, she runs down the sloping bank to the man who had called her out here tonight.

He was there, and that was all that mattered. Even when she feels herself slip on the grassy bank, falling helplessly down the steep slope, she doesn't panic.

Because when she reaches the bottom, two arms outstretched reach for her slender body, and she finds herself enveloped in a warm hug. Simply put, he was there, and she would never be alone.

_I'm sorry.._

Those were the only words that she hears from him, as he holds her tightly in his arms. He apologises for calling her out in the middle of the night, and she violently pulls herself out of his embrace, berating him for talking nonsense, and how he wasn't telling her everything. She tells him tearfully that he would have to commit seppuku, should the Shinsengumi find him. He calmly replies that he is aware of that, and whichever path he chooses would mean death anyway. Then he goes on about how useless he is, and yet tells her that it all doesn't matter, because as long as he can help her, that would be enough for him.

Akesato can no longer take his kind of depressing talk, and how he still refuses to tell her what is going on between him and the Shinsengumi. She completely pushes him away forcibly, and tells him to let her go when he grabs her wrist. She yells that she doesn't want it this way, that she doesn't want him to hold her any longer.

_But you really love me.._

His words are like razors through her heart, and she realises that this man had actually seen through her like a clear piece of glass. He knew everything about her, her past, her secrets, her feelings, and yet she knew nothing about him. Akesato feels her eyes become teary once again, and this time the tears roll down her cheeks freely and she hears her own sobs become louder as she collapses helplessly, feeling bare and transparent before him.

Then two warm hands cup her face ever so gently, and reach for the clips that hold the brown wig down over her own blonde hair. He releases them gently, and tosses the wig on the grassy bank while letting her blonde hair fall freely down her shoulders in locks.

_Your golden and silky hair colour, its beautiful. They compliment your eyes. There's no need for you to put on a facade in my presence. Besides, your Kyoto accent has never been very accurate.._

She turns red at his teasing, both worried and relieved that he knew all along who she really was. She then pushes him down on the grassy bank in retaliation to his teasing, and the both of them laugh as if there's no tomorrow while embracing each other once again.

Then the atmosphere turns serious all at once, and he no longer smiles, but gives her a down to earth stare full of sincerity and pleading.

_Come.. Come and live with me. I'll go into hiding, then we'll cross the mountain together, and we'll go to a place I know, that they'll never find us. So come with me, and we'll live together..._

Her heart gives a lurch as she hears his request, and Akesato isn't completely assured. It was true that he knew how much she loved him, and would give up anything and everything just for his sake. But this man had yet to directly tell her that he loved her just as much. She feels as if he knew her inside out, and yet she herself hardly knew anything about him. So she asks him, feeling filthy compared to his saint-like personality, whether he does like her, even though she has been tainted with the touch of many other men. She tells him that she will neither lie, nor sell him out, but for a woman like her to love a pure man like him, would be a complete waste.

She feels herself crying bitterly once again, when he does not give a reply. She fears he is indeed contemplating his own decision, and probes him once again for an answer if he really does love her.

_Let's live together alright? I don't care about your past..._

It' is not a direct answer, but it is enough to convince her that it was only right she should go with him. All that mattered, after all, was that she could be with him. In the absence of his presence, there would be no longer any meaning for Akesato in life.

_As long as you're around, I'll be able to live on._

And it is exactly the same for Yamanami as well.

_-_

Yamanami trudged slowly down the empty road, the straw head on his head pulled over to cover his eyes. That night he had already planned to meet Akesato outside one of the restaurants, where they would run away, cross the mountains and flee from the pursuing Shinsengumi.

Yet somehow it pained him, with each step he took further down the lane. Perhaps it was the pain from the fear of being caught. There was always the chance that they might be unable to escape, then there was no other choice than to face seppuku.

But then, deeper inside of him, Yamanami knew that it pained him to leave the Shinsengumi. As much as he refused to admit it, it was as if a piece of him had already been left behind when he left the place. At first, he reasoned that the emptiness he felt inside was due to the consistent haunting guilt of the murder of the previous commander. Up until now, such fleeting memories had caused twinges of pain whenever he thought about drawing his sword. However, since he left, it seemed as if there were some kind of a hole in his heart that could no longer be filled. Indeed, he sought refuge in Akesato, but there was an undeniable sense of loss when he thought about how he would never see them again.

As much as the differences they faced, these were after all, the people he saw as family.

_'Yamanami-san! Come on and give us a hand!'_

_Flushed in the face, and his cold breath forming in the air, the first unit captain calls out cheerfully to the vice-commander who sits on the steps watching Souji and a few kids build a snowman. They are having difficulty heaving a big snowball on to a second one to form the head of the snowman, and Souji cannot do it one his own. _

_'Haha.. Yet again Souji? You never do grow up do you?' Yamanami laughs, getting up from his seat and heading towards the kids to give them a hand. _

_The snowman is quickly completed, and Yamanami stands back to admire their finished work. The children are excited, and argue if it should be a samurai or a princess. Souji laughs at them in a joyous laughter, and suggests it be a princess judging from its fair and round face. _

_The vice-commander savours the sweetness of the youth around him and thinks back to how Souji had once been like them._

_'I remember the first time I met you..' Yamanami tells the first unit captain, 'You were barely a year older than these kids here.'_

_'Ahh, but I wasn't as innocent and sweet as them.' Souji comments, a hint of sadness in his voice. Both men know exactly what is meant, as they gaze at the purity of the children in the white snow._

_Souji quickly changes the subject, scribbling in the snow with his index finger. 'It's so cold.' He complains, 'And the year is already drawing to an end. Time sure flies especially fast when we're in Kyoto. Why, just last year it was all leisurely and relaxed, yet this year was so hectic and busy. Pretty soon we're all going to be middle-aged men already!' _

_'And yet, people can change in such a short time.' Yamanami replies in response, clasping his hands as the first unit captain stares curiously at him. _

_'Well, regarding the issue today between you and Hijikata over moving our headquarters to the Nishihonganji temple,' Souji states slowly, choosing his words carefully, 'I feel that Hijikata-san's words are very true..'_

_'Ahh really..' _

_'But,' Souji smiles at his vice-commander. 'Yamanami-san's words are even more true.'_

_**Because the words that you say, have always been right.**_

Yamanami recalled the same words that he had heard years ago, when he had still been more comfortable in the presence of Hijikata. At that time he was carefree, relaxed, and most of all, himself, in front of his friend. Now it seemed as if there were an invisible barrier between the both of them that caused them to end up disagreeing all the time. It happened so often that Yamanami no longer had the strength to go on arguing with the other vice-commander, and he had instead sought to keep himself out of the business of the latter. He avoided all confrontations with Hijikata, and stopped himself from giving his differing opinions to the other man.

But then again, wasn't that his job?

_'Ahh sorry Toshi. In the end, somehow it turned out as if I were reprimanding you.' Yamanami rubbed the back of his head apologetically, as he spoke to his friend. _

_'Don't be an idiot.' He lay on the vast greenery, enjoying the breeze in his ever calm and collected fashion, while chewing on a piece of grass. 'There's no need to apologise in such matters.'_

_'You know,' He continued, 'harsh words and scoldings can't reach into a person's heart. And I'm exactly the kind of person who cares only for results more than anything else. To reach my goal, I'll make whatever choice necessary, regardless of other's feelings.'_

_'You, Keisuke, on the other hand, are compassionate and able to understand the feelings of others. You're able to deal with their feelings the right way, to give opinions based on the majority's overall best interest. That's something you and I both know I'm uncapable of. So that's why, whether or not, your words make any sense or logic, don't bother about it.'_

_'Because ultimately in the end, the words that you say, have always been right.'_

As Yamanami walked forward, he spied the outline of a horse in the distance. The owner of the horse lay on the ground, a straw hat also pulled over his face, hiding every one of his features under the shadow of the hat. He was snoring loudly, his hands behind the back of his head.

Yamanami guessed the man wouldn't be waking up anytime soon. Begrudgingly, he pulled out a coin from his garments and placed it next to the sleeping man. Then he guiltily turned to the parked horse, undoing the knot on the rope that held the horse to a wooden pole.

It was against his moral, of course, to steal from anyone. But this time he needed the steed much more than this man. If Yamanami wanted to flee with Akesato as quickly as possible, the best method would be on horseback.

As the ex vice-commander freed the horse, he led it silently away by the rope around its' neck.

'You may as well give up now.'

The cold voice struck Yamanami still, as he recognised the voice to belong to the head of the Investigation Unit.

The sleeping man raised his hat, but remained on the ground as he stared up at his former vice-commander.

'Everyone's been worried for you. And now they're starting to suspect that you've fled from the Shinsengumi. The Investigation Team has already been sent to hunt you down.' The young shinobi told the older man, who was now gripping the cord in fear.

'Kyoto has already been surrounded, and once you get on that horse, you'll be discovered immediately and guilty abandoning the Shinsengumi. When that happens, it'll be almost impossible for you to escape seppuku.'

It seemed as if Yamazaki Susumu was trying to convince him to go back. Yamanami knew that the shinobi was actually helping him, for if he went back on his own accord, he would not be guilty of running away and hence would not be required to commit seppuku.

The ex vice-commander remained silent, not looking at the shinobi. Then in one swift motion, he swept himself upon the horse back and pulled at its reigns.

Susumu leapt up, his hand reaching in his cloak for his kunai. He drew out three of them, and prepared to fling it at the fleeing man. However, he restraint himself, as if an invisible force were holding him down and preventing him from going after the other man.

Indeed, he had been ordered to capture Yamanami Keisuke, but although it meant disobeying orders, he found himself unable to stop the older man. If this was how far the former vice-commander was willing to go, the pain of remaining in the Shinsengumi was probably far worse than any of them were able to comprehend.

Perhaps this was best for him after all, and Susumu couldn't help but wish Yamanami well as he watched his fleeting figure down the lane.

-

Yamanami felt the hot tears in his eyes, as the wind rushed against him. The horse sped forward, its hooves sending loud clops against the ground. He realised that fate had already prepared its route for him, and it would be selfish to bring Akesato along with him on the same road to death.

Now that Yamazaki had informed him that Investigation Troops had been sent to surround Kyoto, it was almost impossible for him to escape. For sure, the both of them would be caught before they had a chance to cross the border, and not only would he be sentenced to seppuku, Akesato would probably also be forced to suffer the same consequence.

There was no 'other side' of that mountain, which he had hoped for. A life of freedom, happiness, and innocence, was nothing more than a disillusion that he had believed in. To put it simply, death was the only consequence, whatever the choice he made.

Yamanami wondered why he chose to not return to the Shinsengumi. He could easily dismiss the idea of abandoning the Shinsengumi by telling them he had merely gone on a journey, and they would undoubtedly believe him, lest forgive him. Kondou might reprimand him for not telling them where he went, but nonetheless let him off. It was all that simple.

But if he did choose that way out, then it really wasn't a way out at all. Instead, he would be burrowing deeper into the problem rather than face up to it. His own honour would not allow him to such a low method, crawling back to the Shinsengumi with lies weighing upon his shoulders.

And if he did flee from the Shinsengumi, Yamanami knew that the ties that bind would refuse to let him go.

_I'm sorry, Akesato._

Seeing the restaurant up ahead where he had planned to meet Akesato, he closed his eyes tightly and jerked the reins of the horse, forcing it to gallop even faster through the empty street. Despite closed eyes, he could picture her pale face and teary eyes as she watched him dash past her without giving her a glance.

But Yamanami had made up his mind, and he would not look back.

Even when he heard her desperate pleas cry out his name in distress, he shut his eyes tighter, wishing he could shut his ears as well.

And although her voice pierced his heart as he heard it ring through the silent night, he told himself not to look back.

-

Akesato had been there, on time, waiting patiently for him to arrive.

He had come of course, on time, dashing through the streets on horseback.

She had smiled, ran out to greet him, holding in her hands belongings that would hardly be enough to last the both of them for the rest of their lifetime.

He hadn't slowed down, holding in his hands the reins that controlled the horse, instead willing the animal to speed up even faster.

She had paled, her heart pained as she began to panic, for he had not stopped for her and instead completely ignored the woman he had asked to go live with him. She believed that he had no longer wanted her, and that she was but a burden unto him.

He had paled, his heart pained as he thought about her, for he had not stopped for her and instead completely ignored the woman he had asked to go live with him. He knew that he wanted her more than anything else, but to bring her along would cause her to be burdened with death.

She crumpled on the ground, reaching out to his fleeting figure in desperation as tears rolled freely down her cheeks. She had placed her entire life and fate in his hands, and he had but broken his promise to her.

He crumpled on the horseback, unable to stop himself from turning to her disappearing silhouette in reluctance as tears rolled freely down his cheeks. He had done it to save her life and her fate, which were in his hands, but he had broken his promise to her.

And Akesato had screamed, yelled, until her throat was hoarse, for Yamanami to come back.

But Yamanami never turned back.

-

_'Oi, oi, Yamanami-san! Why have you decided to join the Roshigumi?' A young Okita Souji whispers to him, his eyes brimming with curiosity. Souji is no older than a young teenager, but seems to ask the the most difficult questions._

_'Why?.. You ask me why? Souji-kun, don't ask me such questions which are so difficult to answer alright?'_

_'But Yamanami-san, it's just that you don't look like the kind that suit a warrior's lifestyle..'_

_''... I wonder why everyone seems to say that as well.' Yamanami pushes his glasses up nervously, trying to find a reasonable answer. 'I guess there's no particular reason actually. I just wanted to see the other side of the world that's all...'_

_-_

'What? There's no way! There's no fucking way that Yamanami-san would leave the Shinsengumi!' The page was the most hot-headed when he heard the news, and he objected violently to the information that Susumu had brought to the commander.

'Kondo-san! Didn't you say Yamanami-san went on an errand? Don't believe a word that they tell you! They're making it all up! Why would Yamanami-san want to leave the Shinsengumi?!?'

'Tetsu-kun..' The first unit captain placed a hand on the page's shoulder, 'Calm down.'

'Okita-san..' Tetsunosuke muttered, his tense shoulders relaxing hesitantly while looking up at the captain with hopeful eyes.

'Please give me a horse, I will find Yamanami-san.' Souji stated firmly to the commanders. 'And I will definitely bring him back.'

-

He had been riding for hours, and he had already scanned hundreds of faces, none of them belonging to the man he was looking for. But Souji never did lose hope, and he continued on in the same direction, sure that he would find Yamanami eventually.

The horse was tired, as with Souji himself, his breath haggard and heavy. However, his determination and will kept him going, blocking out any sense of fatigue that may have been in him.

Then he sensed it. The familiar presence that he was looking for, the same figure he searched.

Yamanami had stopped at a nearby river bank, not too far from the city. His horse drank from the river, and he sat stroking its mane absent-mindedly. Souji slowed his horse, and marched it to the ex vice-commander. 'Yamanami-san..'

'I was waiting for you, and indeed you did come Souji. Since it's you, then there's no need for me to draw my sword. Even if there is such a need, well, I would definitely be the winner..' Yamanami spoke casually, without even looking up from the horse.

'I wasn't ordered to come. I came on my own free will to find you. Because I believed that no matter how far you ran, or even if you hid in the crowd, I'd definitely be able to find you. And that is why I came.' The first unit captain gave a stern reply, his usually jovial face no longer present.

'Oh?' Yamanami finally looked up, and smiled. 'Is that it? I'm sorry, for giving you so much troubled. Shall we go? I've already prepared myself for any kind of punishment that is to come..'

'If that's the case, can we go back now? You still have a lot of things to do for the Shinsengumi. All the administrative work has been piling up for you, waiting to be done.' Souji continued, choosing to ignore the last sentence that the older man gave.

'Souji-kun..'

'No matter what you think, this time I believe that I'm not wrong in anyway. And even if he always puts on such a cold and unfeeling mask, you should know that Hijikata-san really needs you. Everyone in the Shinsengumi respects and needs you as well, this bit I'm sure you should know as well.'

Souji-kun..'

'Don't say anything else. Do you think that it'll all be fine if you commit seppuku? You need to let everyone know what you're thinking, you've got to make them understand you! No matter what means you take, it doesn't matter! As long as I open my mouth to plead with them, even if I'm demoted from my rank, it all doesn't matter! But please, Yamanami-san.. You've got to live on!' The first unit captain lost control of his emotions, his voice raised and his face was pulled into an upset frown.

'Souji-kun..' Yamanami remained calm, Souji's sudden outburst having no effect on him. 'Forget it. Thank you very much, but I'm the one who should be sorry to you.'

Yamanami raised an arm to the younger unit captain, who refused to look him in the eye. Finally relenting, Souji broke down and leaned down to his former vice-commander, returning a tight embrace as he cried on the older man's shoulder.

'Why.. Why did you leave the Shinsengumi..' He sobbed, his head still buried in Yamanami's shoulder and his voice muffled in the fabric.

Yamanami held the younger man's head carefully and sincerely, staring up at the cloudless sky. The two of them shared a bond, like brothers, and he would keep this bond, until now, the end of his life.

'I guess.. I just wanted to see the other side of the world that's all...'

-

'_Oi Keisuke. Have you grasped on tightly to my 'cord?' A young Hijikata asks, this time fingering a blade of grass between his index finger and thumb._

_''Cords'? You mean the one of your justice? Or the one of your humanity?' Yamanami, around the same age, questions his friend, puzzled with his concept of 'cords'._

_Hijikata pauses, and gets up from his lying position. 'You know, like I just said, I'll do anything to reach my goals. And ever since I've joined the Roshigumi, I'm sure to do some pretty bad stuff just because of my will to achieve our goals. But to keep progressing, we've gotta keep moving forward, I mean, it's just my personality, I hate stopping and looking back.. And most of all..'_

_Then the brash youth places his arms on his hips, trying to find the right words to say. He turns his back to his friend, and continues with much difficulty. 'Most of all, the one thing I hate most is regretting. And no matter how far I go, someone like you, who's always been stronger than me, well you wouldn't get suspicious of me having evil intentions of anything right?'_

_Yamanami smiles, as he watches the latter rub his neck nervously and his face turn a light shade of red. He knows that Hijikata is having a tough time admitting his mistakes, and he laughs at how the usually arrogant man is now more humble and quiet. _

_'That's why I need you to hold on tightly to my cord, so that I don't do anything I regret.'_

And as Yamanami stood before Kondo and Hijikata that day, the wakizashi in his hands, he watched their pained faces. Kondo had asked him tearfully, why he had taken such actions. Hijikata had said nothing, but in his eyes shone the untold pain as he watched his friend commit seppuku before him. Souji stood above him as his second, turning watery eyes away from the bowed man, a katana in his hands, ready to decapitate the former vice-commander.

They had wanted to let him off, but Yamanami knew he would never live it down should he disobey the warrior's code. So he had insisted on seppuku, even though his hands were trembling as the cold blade touched the skin of his abdomen.

He turned to his friend, who watched him with a tight jaw and white hands, and stated in a voice full of honesty and sincerity.

'I'm sorry, Hijikata-san.'

'For making you regret.'

-

**23rd February (of the lunar calander) 1865**

**Aged 33**

**Yamanami Keisuke commits Seppuku with Okita Souji as his second.**

**-**

**Footnote:**

Roshigumi – What the early Shinsengumi was known as.

Second - The person in charge of decapitating the one who commits seppuku, and is usually a close family member or friend.

It's 4.15 am and I'm finally done with this chapter! I've been busy with many many MANY things lately and I know this took ages. I'm really sorry to those who waited. You'll notice that I've actually changed the storyline for this chapter, for those who read the manga. Well, I hope it's alright because I've kinda decided that I can't continue writing on with Suzu in the storyline, fyi, he's actually kind of responsible for Yamanami's death and Akesato's seperation from him (you'll know what i mean if you've read the manga.). I mean, it's not that I don't love him or anything, he IS super uberly cool and evil but Nanae Chrono has adopted a lot of supernatural features, and that's gonna be hard to write. And I am far from Nanae Chrono thus have no power or ability to take on such great characterisation. So perhaps the story from now on would take on a different twist to follow history, rather than the storyline of Peacemaker Kurogane. I pray PRAY that I don't lose any readers just because they're Suzu fans. (

Also, I didn't elaborate much on Yamanami's seppuku or his return, because that's gonna take out more of my sleeping time. / Besides, I've never been too good with gory and bloody scenes. And I doubt I'd write it good enough for people to cry, so that's gonna spoil the whole beauty of it if I actually attempt to do it in an all angsty manner and fail miserably.

Damn, I'm really tired now so I can't think straight and my footnotes are kind of in a big chunk. I hope I've gotten out all the information I need to tell you all though, and once again I'm throwing out a big THANKYOU to everyone who reads and reviews. It's greatly appreciated I can tell you, and as you can see, this is much more important to me than beauty sleep. D


	21. Effect

"_He committed Seppuku and died with honour.."_

A regular sniffling echoed each shuffling footstep as the two men made their way through the headquarters.

"Sano..."

The shorter redhead addressed his older friend, keeping his gaze fixed onto the cracked concrete floor. "Your nose, is still dirty.."

His companion instinctively reached up and rubbed his nose with the back of his palm, trying to stop himself from sniffling as much as possible. However, he found that he was unable to stop his own nose from running, along with the few hot tears that sprang without warning.

"I can't.. I can't help it." Sanosuke admitted, dropping his arm and hunching his shoulders.

The 10th unit captain had to admire his friend. Despite his small stature, he was nothing short of strength, both physical and especially emotional. Sanosuke noted that Shinpachi never cried, not when Ayumu died, not now when Yamanami died. In fact, everything was left up to the 2nd unit captain to be the strong shoulder to lean on.

The two paused in their steps, as they saw their third person crouched on the steps, his head buried in his knees. It was evident how the young man tried to control his sobs, but his shoulders were trembling slightly despite the clenching fingers on his knees.

"Heisuke.." It was Shinpachi once again who murmured his friends' name in a comforting manner.

Heisuke perhaps was the worse out of them three. He held the closest relationship with the late vice-commander, and it scarred him the deepest that the older man had merely vanished in an instant. The 8th unit captain had until now, refused to give his regards to the late man, stubbornly insisting that it were impossible that Yamanami-san had truly died.

"Is it really alright if you don't say good-bye to Yamanami-san?" Shinpachi continued, forcing a reassuring smile, although it tore him from inside as well.

Heisuke hesitated from answering, but eventually slowly raised his head to face the other two. His eyes were swollen and red from crying, but his face was stoned and lack of expression. "Did that man... really commit Seppuku?"

There was a moment of silence, and the short redhead squatted, lowering himself to eye level to face his friend. "Kondo-san said it himself.. Yamanami-san, he bravely accepted his punishment and committed Seppuku.."

The 8th unit captain felt his chest tighten once more, and soon his shoulders began to tremble as his emotions began to overcome him. Before Heisuke realised, his eyes were wet once more, as with the streaks that stained his cheeks, before the droplets fell to the concrete ground.

"And to think we just saw him.. To think we really met him, and talked to him a few moments ago.."

Dark spots appeared on the crumpled fabric, as well as on the dry ground. Shinpachi watched his friend struggle to keep the tears from falling, and Sanosuke felt his own swirling emotions overcome the strong composure he had been holding.

"He's really dead isn't he? Dead... Yamanami-san..."

Shinpachi turned a glossy gaze towards Yamanami's grave at the sound of Heisuke's pained voice.

The fresh tombstone was visible in sight, together with two lone figures standing over his grave. He sighed slightly, watching the trembling figure that was bending over the tombstone.

"Takara-san..."

--

"Rest in peace.. Yamanami-san." The bottle of sake was tipped over, the liquid flowing down the tombstone with the vice-commander's name engraved on it.

Takara bowed her head in respect for a little while longer, her hands clasped in prayer. She had stopped crying for quite some time, finally gathering herself to pay respect to Yamanami's grave. It had been only minutes before his death, that he had returned to the Shinsengumi. Everyone had crowded around their vice-commander, flooding him with questions of his whereabouts the past few days.

He had smiled of course, but answered none.

The next moment, Hijikata had emerged from the back, his face ashen gray, and his expression a mix of pain and shock. For a man who often concealed his true emotions, this time he had been unable to do so. With the same shaky voice, he had announced the seppuku of Yamanami, and proceeded, stoned, back to bury the body.

Shakily, Takara stood up, and Susumu picked the empty bottle up for her. He did as much as he could for her that day, knowing that she was on the edge of breaking down anytime again. On their way to Yamanami's grave, Takara had been cursing how she had cried so much lately. The shinobi listened intently to the younger girl's bitter comments, and let her vent out her frustrations through her tears and curses.

"I'm not sure I can take another death.." she had said truthfully, gritting her teeth and trying to stop her tears.

That had gotten the teenage boy worried, and he began to wonder of worst-case scenarios on what the unstable girl might do in a state of rage and depression. He didn't say of course, that there would probably be a hell lot of deaths soon. Susumu wanted no part in reminding the young captain that they were after all, going into war.

The two of them walked silently back to the headquarters, when they espied a cloaked figure crouched outside the entrance of the Shinsengumi. Nearing the stranger, Takara's stomach gave a lurch when the person raised her head.

The familiar brown hair and blue eyes were unmistakable. No, it was the pain in her eyes that was unmistakable. There was only one person Takara knew who could be hurting so terribly, that it showed in her eyes how a hope was shattered and a love was torn.

Takara recognised the Shimabara woman, and felt her sorrow arise once more, this time for the older woman.

"Akesato-san.."

-

Tetsunosuke trudged forward with the arrangement of flowers in his arms. He was ordered to get a bouquet of flowers for Yamanami's grave at a shop in town, and he had done it willingly despite being ordered to. Yamanami was the one vice-commander whom Tetsunosuke looked forward to seeing, and it was Yamanami who had gotten him out of the closet during the Ikedaya-raid.

He was grateful for the bouquet, for they were large enough to conceal his red and watery eyes. Inhaling the sweet scent of the array of colours, he stopped in his footsteps when he came across the last woman he could bear to see.

"Akesato-sama.." The page managed to croak out, his voice cracking slightly at the sight of the disheveled woman.

The cloaked lady turned slowly, to face the boy who had called out to her. She immediately pulled tighter at the cloak, concealing the bottom half of her face and resorted to ignoring him. Akesato had no intention of speaking to them.. These damned devils. They had killed him, drove Yamanami to the point where he ended up committing seppuku.

She would kill them. Kill them all..

Despite her furious thoughts, Akesato found herself with no anger. Yamanami wouldn't want her to be angry with the Shinsengumi. He had told her before, that it was his own fault that anything should happen to him, that he was upset with them...

Her faded memories became clearer, each picture cutting deep into her heart. She found herself sobbing uncontrollably, tears falling endlessly down her cheeks and onto the ground even with the cloak covering the bottom half of her face.

A rustling of leaves, and Tetsunosuke found himself placing the bouquet of flowers on the ground. He reached out to the devastated woman, enveloping her in a warm hug.

The Shimabara woman hesitated at first, but finally relented and tugged at the young page's cloaks. Her cold fingers entwined the fabric clad on him, quickly stained with wet spots from her falling tears. Tetsunosuoke was stunned, she knew, at the sheer force that she was exerting while pulling at his clothes and burying her face deeper into his chest.

But his small arms stayed firm around her shoulders, and he tried his best to comfort her with his soothing hug.

So she really couldn't hold it back any longer. And let herself cry out and yell.

"...YAMANAMI-SAN!!!"

-

The brush danced across the paper as it produced smooth strokes of each letter, despite the trembling hand that held it.

_Haiku._ Hijikata had constantly repeated to himself, after burying his friends body. He needed something, anything, to focus his mind on for fear of his thoughts drifting back to that horrid scene. So true enough, he had retreated to the comforts of his own room, lit his pipe and inhaled such a deep breath that it made his lungs burn and his head spin.

It felt good anyway. Anything would feel better than what he was feeling now.

His brush was lying on the table, still, and dead- _No, no. _ Hijikata corrected himself from thinking that. Of all words, just not that one. A usually flippant topic now seemed to bear the weight of the world, his world at least.

He picked it up hastily, fumbled for his haiku book which he failed to find, ergo resorted to pulling out pieces of paper he found around his desk. Important if they were, he wasn't sure himself but it didn't matter. Nothing mattered as long as he could decently write his haiku and take his mind off that bloody scene and the body with the bloo-. Hijikata stopped his train of thoughts forcibly, realising at the same time he was biting down too hard on his pipe.

And there he was, finally writing some haiku. But somehow it all wasn't working out. A few times his brush seemed to have a mind of it's own, pulling out unwanted strokes of each word like puppets on a string and ultimately leading to the kanji of Yamanami's name. He had to swallow hard, to get rid of the lump in his throat which he feared might emerge as a scream. Hijikata crushed the paper, crushed it, he told himself, like how he would crush his enemies.. like how.. how he had crushed Keisuke's entire life because of what he had done. _Damn it.. Not again. DAMN IT!_

The devastated man swung his fist and slammed it on his table, upsetting the ink tray that lay atop. It flew up slightly, the ink splattering all over the remaining papers. The liquid spread quickly, stealthily almost, and the papers were coloured completely. He cursed aloud, picked up the papers quickly, but dropped them almost immediately when they seemed to suddenly be stained blood red. Blinking quickly, the ghostly image disappeared and it was black ink again. Hijikata blamed the smoke, but he felt the inside of him still rigid and frozen in fear.

He was used to it, the smell of blood, the ounces of it he saw everytime he killed. But there was something different about it this time.

Like a wolf, he could tell that Yamanami's blood had smelt differently. Somehow the blood of someone close smelt too foul to take, the sight too sickening to handle.

And the blood, oh god, the blood that gushed out like a burst pipe, that stained everything around them, it had been everywhere, there was just so much.

Hijikata exhaled, putting his pipe down on the table. He could no longer smoke for the knot in is stomach seemed to be suffocating him.

So much blood, and he dreaded deep inside, because he knew there was going to be so much more.

-


	22. Doctor

Gah! This is probably one of the longer chapters I've done in awhile, and it sure took a lot of steam out of me. I hope people who read will review what they think, because I really did put quite alot into typing this chapter.

I don't know, and I guess it really feels kind of nice when people give reviews (yes even critical ones -because it shows it's worth reading and correcting) so I'm looking forward to reviews as a reward! Pretty please? (:

Nevertheless, enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 22: Doctor**

Heisuke watched as his taller friend adjusted his yukata, chewing aimlessly on the piece of grass he had in his mouth. It seemed odd really, that the three of them were walking off with the fading building of Shimabara in the background. It wasn't the oddness of them coming from there, but more of the way they staggered in a carefree manner, faces slightly flushed and drunk from too much sake.

They were sane, yes, but nevertheless high. Unfortunately for Heisuke, the temporary high wasn't enough to chase away the heavy thoughts of his conscience bearing upon him.

This just wasn't right. It wasn't right at all.

Heisuke wondered if Shinpachi too felt the same way. He knew for a fact that even if Shinpachi never showed it, the short redhead was perhaps the most intelligent and deepest thinker of them three. Sanosuke on the other hand, passed the days without a worry or a second thought.

Normally, although Heisuke cryptically contemplated what 'normal' would be, the three captains wouldn't be allowed to visit Shimabara, heck they would never even be allowed to get drunk in the daytime. Yet today, through some gusto means, they had boldly risked their necks and asked for a day off despite knowing their usual routine – one which spelled out 'duty' on a day like this.

It would have usually been a surprise, that both the commander and vice-commander had consented to such a request, merely waving the matter off as an additional nuisance, while placing another unit on guard duty. However Heisuke found him expectant of such a response, for lately the Shinsengumi seemed to have slackened a lot than it should be. It was as if their soldiers had all lost their purpose and zeal for the Shinsengumi, a feeling that too was not alien to Heisuke himself.

It was all because of Yamanami-san's death wasn't it? It was his missing place that crumbled the usually ordered Shinsengumi, that caused the commanders to isolate themselves more often in the comforts of their rooms – lest it be comforting really – that made every soldier feel choked with a heavy heart.

How long had it been now? Six months or more? Time seemed to have frozen for them in the Shinsengumi, and the vivid memory too was still etched in Heisuke's mind. He felt different too, always weary, too tired to feel happy in fact. It was as if a part of his life had died that day, gone out, extinguished, and he couldn't find it ever again. That was what was happening to the Shinsengumi. They were all going to be sitting ducks, subject to the rotting and withering away from their own guilt..

The 8th unit captain's vacant stare didn't go unnoticed by the shorter man out of the trio. Shinpachi diverted his own gaze from his friend, trying not to pry into Heisuke's thoughts. Heisuke had been doing that alot lately, ever since the seppuku of their vice-commander. Poor guy – Shinpachi had thought to himself, Heisuke was beyond repair, caught in his own world of mellowness and sorrow. He didn't understand why it was so hard for the brunette to move on with life, why his friend chose to drown deeper in his hurt chained to the memories of before.

Everyone else had chosen to move on, after all six months were enough to heal the worst of their wounds. Duties were resumed, as with trainings. The commanders were busy once again with their work, much more than before considering the amount of administration work that had to be done. The Choshuu, Shinpachi knew, were on the move again. They had made it very clear that they were going to fight without stopping for anything, and Ryouma Sakamato was catching on the opportunity to form an alliance between the Satsuma and the Choshuu. Their acceptance of such a proposal would mean more trouble for the Shinsengumi, and being outside of the inner circle, Shinpachi hadn't a clue on what the commanders planned to do.

And yet a day off just like that for three captains? It was preposterous! The 2nd unit captain cursed the Shinsengumi for becoming a little too complacent these days, but the nagging idea remained that they were actually rewarded such for the sake of Heisuke, who still suffered sleepless nights and a guilt-ridden conscience. Shinpachi had to acknowledge his friend's efforts for trying to revert to his normal self, but to no avail.

Well, he only hoped Heisuke found a cure for himself, soon.

-

His wrist flicked effortlessly and the lethal kunai hit it's desired target, the soft '_thunk_' sound completing the entire attack. The hay figure now stood, or rather hung, in front of the tree trunk with a few additional kunai, one in it's straw neck and the other directly over the heart. If it had one.

A few seconds later this was followed by a third kunai – not his, catching the hay figure on it's shoulder. Susumu responded by flinging his own once more, hitting what would have been a major artery had the poor strawman any life in it. The metal weapon glinted in the sunlight, as if in a mocking '_Beat that' _challenge to his companion.

Unwilling to be shown up, Takara had another go, aiming for the other free side of the neck. The weapon flew quickly, slicing the air, but missed it's mark by hitting the tree trunk instead.

"Shit." The girl cursed, flicking her wrist with a shadow kunai as she practised the actions to hit the crevice of the figure's neck. "I just can't seem to get this right."

"You're not doing it right." Susumu pointed out, sighing slightly as he demonstrated the action of his own wrist for the umpteenth time. "Your wrist is way too tensed, there's no way you're going to get the small areas if your kunai is being held so rigidly."

"For god's sake! I _know _that Susumu. You've been saying that over and over again. But I've already relaxed it as much as I can, and still it won't fly the right way dammit." Takara frowned, her arms dropping to her side and her shrugged shoulders signifying a kind of surrender.

The shinobi picked up one of the kunai on the porch, and lifting up one of the young captain's arms, placed it within her right palm. "Here, I'll show you alright?"

Without waiting for her response, he spun her round to face the hay figure, and with her back against him, held her right hand in his and guided the kunai to its starting position. She was tensed, he could feel it, and he suddenly wondered if it was because of their close proximity that was causing it. Suppressing the urge to smirk, he shook her wrist in a motion to relax it.

"There." He muttered to himself for no particular reason. "Use the momentum of your whole arm, instead of tensing up your wrist, to fling to kunai into the crevice of your victim's neck." Still holding on gently to her arm, he brought it back and flicked both his wrist – and hers which was still within his own grasp- resulting in the swift action of the kunai hitting it's desired target.

Takara only stared, uttering a small 'Oh.' and a _so that's how it's done_ expression on her face. Allowing her to admire her (or rather partof) handiwork, Susumu let her lean back against him, trying not to give in to the impulse of wrapping his arms around her.

They were still members of the Shinsengumi of course, and heaven forbid what sorts of trouble they would both get into should they be caught. Rumours were speculating indeed, but what had no substantial evidence was deemed as harmless to both their positions. Susumu had assured Hijikata beforehand, that there was absolutely nothing that would get in his way of his duty – and the vice-commander hearing what he wanted, had closed an ear at the stories of his faithful shinobi and the only female member of the Shinsengumi.

The two of them were responsible enough to keep matters between each other purely professional in the day, never risking physically intimate moments during their duties. Off-duty however, it would sometimes be a different story. However it was fortunate that neither were the very physical type, nor the atypical romantic lovers. They enjoyed the company of each other just as normal friends would do, except sometimes shared moments that could not be classified under 'just friends'.

What was bothering Susumu was the fact that Takara no longer was the 'chibi' 4th unit captain that he first met. She was undeniably already 17 this year, together with the puppy-boy whom he thought would never grow up. Time certainly did change them, and just as the growth spurt had hit the young page, maturing him into a handsome, tall, teenager – puberty had done the same to the female in front of him.

He blamed himself for allowing his 'raging hormones' to get the better of him when he caught his line of vision falling upon her chest, something that was more prominent than the other soldiers around the Shinsengumi, for obvious reasons. Indeed at the age of 17, Takara found it increasingly difficult to conceal her feminine identity which stood out from the biological differences. Susumu too, was annoyed and aware of the fact that it wasn't just him who did the staring.

On another instance in which he was aware of his 'raging hormones', was when it had started out as an innocent peck from her to him on his cheek. It had driven him hungry for more, and thankfully it was in the security of his own room, but he had pushed it one step further into a deeper kiss, until he found his own hand snaking up her smooth legs – going under her clothes. Heck, he had stopped himself immediately, slightly guilty and fully embarrassed of his attempts to take advantage of her, at least when he was aware of it. Only he was still bothered to this day, why she hadn't been the one to stop him instead.

Sometimes Susumu worried that being in a headquarter full of men, her being the only female, what he sought from her was only physical gratification to satisfy his wants. Then everytime they had a conversation or even a little joking quarrel, he felt genuinely happy inside and knew that fortunately it was something more.

"Oi oi." Takara's voice broke his train of thought. She was leaning forwards, staring intently at the hay figure. "Alright I think I've got the whole concept now. Pass me a kunai and I'll show you."

The shinobi sighed, and handed her a kunai. Not to his surprise, it missed it's mark again.

"Damn."

-

"That lady we saw earlier who ran out of the shop.. actually was man! Can you believe that? I got such a fright I almost would have stabbed him." Heisuke said dazed, thinking back to the earlier scenario. "But Sano, don't you think he had such a great womanly figure?"

"You're right!" Sanosuke exclaimed in fervent disbelief. "And when we chased him down the alley, suddenly his four companions appeared carrying those Chinese Umbrellas.."

"Ehh isn't that the group of dancers we saw earlier?" Shinpachi proposed, scrunching up his face in slight disgust. The three of them were back at the Shinsengumi headquarters, after an eventful walk on the street with the encounter of a few unidentifiable gendered people.

Heisuke was about to continue when a noise from afar seemed to approach them. It sounded like the stamping of feet, and almost instantly a frantic soldier on guard in his haori was seen stampeding towards the three captains.

"Cap... CAPTAIN!" He yelled breathlessly, his hand outstretched and his face stricken with panic. "We've got BIG trouble! At the gate of the headquarters.. A wild boar suddenly appeared! No no, more like a BEAR!"

The trio took awhile to register what the poor man was saying, and didn't know how to respond – whether to laugh or to cry at his hysterics. To counter their disbelief, a large, _hairy, _creature indeed appeared behind the soldier, his gigantic frame blocking out the sunlight as if some ominous eclipse. Through the shadows, they spotted that strapped on his back was an upturned wild boar, larger than Shinpachi himself.

"THE WILD BEAR IS HERE!!!!" The three of them almost screamed in terror, astounded that the guard was indeed telling the truth and unsure of how to respond in the face of such danger.

The approaching stranger was almost as tall as Sanosuke, and although not as muscular, he was just as big-sized and looked relatively strong, complete with a belly. His bald head glinted in the sun, save for the bushy beard that started from his sideburns down to his chin.

Shinpachi was the first to regain his calm, managing to utter a meek "Can I help you..?" Before being rudely interrupted by Sanosuke who immediately pulled of his shirt to show his well-trained upper body.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" The tall man bellowed, flexing a muscled arm and showing off his seppuku scar to try to intimidate the intruder. The alleged 'wild bear' calmly removed the dead boar from his shoulders and held it by its feet with just one arm.

"This is for you." He answered, extending the overturned boar to Sanosuke. Then with a sincere laugh, continued, "Your body structure is so fit and well-trained, I'm sure what they feed you here isn't enough to make you full! And those two behind you – one skinny one and another short one, once they've eaten this gift I'm sure it will help them to toughen up!"

The 10th unit captain was taken aback, and his stare alternated between the strange man before him, and the tempting animal offered to him. In his mind, he could already picture the pig roasting over the fire..

"Today has brought us a lively god of fortune! Quick get the fire started! Bring out a pot!" Sanosuke hollered, his eyes shining in gratitude as he picked the wild boar which was so kindly proffered to him. His two companions had no doubts what brought about the sudden change of attitude of course. Having pacified the originally agitated captain, the visitor now turned to Heisuke, asking for Kondo-san.

"Ahh the captain? Oh right this way please.."

-

"THIS MAN IS.. Doctor Matsumoto Ryojun! Hurry gather the troops to welcome him!" The commander stretched out his arms lovingly to welcome the bald man, who humbly expressed no wish for such a big fuss.

"What a problem I had just now, I was on my way here and I realised I didn't get the Shinsengumi a gift, luckily I managed to catch this wild boar along the way." Matsumoto said, rubbing his beard sheepishly. The three captains dropped their jaw at his statement, their minds elsewhere as the commander introduced each of them to the Doctor.

_He.. He caught.._

"Well would it be alright if I get on with my inspection, Kondo-san? I hope it's not a problem for me to look around."

"Of course not! Feel free to go where you like! Come, come, I'll show you around if you like!"

_He caught that wild boar with his bare hands!_

Leaving the befuddled three behind, the commander brought Matsumoto to the nearest sleeping quarters, sliding the doors open to the astonishment of the soldiers lying inside.

"Aye Commander! What's the matter?"

"Get up! Get up! The Commander is here!"

"Oh no no, sorry to disturb! I'm just here to look around. Please carry on with your work." Doctor Matsumoto reassured the flustered troops, closing the shoji doors and moving on to the next room.

"Ah! Who are you!?"

"Sorry to disturb.. Please don't mind me."

"Wah! Commander, who is this man?"

"Sorry Sorry, don't mind me.."

"HEY!"

"My apologies – I didn't know there was someone in the toilet."

Kondo, exhausted, cleaned the sweat off his brow as he trailed behind the quick trotting Doctor. "Well that's about all to see I guess.." Matsumoto nodded, his vigilent eyes scanning his surroundings for anything he may have missed. However, he suddenly stopped short, standing directly in front of a hay figure that was tied to the trunk of a tree.

"Hmm.." The big man leaned forward, pulling out one of the remaining kunai from the figure.

"Oh this belongs to our Chief Inspector, Yamazaki. He uses it as target to practise with his kunai." Kondo explained, feeling obliged as a result of the the doctor's intent and thoughtful stare.

"I see." Matsumoto rubbed his chin through his bushy beard. "Kondo-san, would you be so kind as to call this man to your room later? I wish to speak to him about some matters.."

-

Matsumoto sat opposite the Commander of the Shinsengumi, and next to Kondo sat a young man still probably in his late teens. He was introduced as the Chief Inspector, Yamazaki Susumu, Spy for the Shinsengumi.

Sipping his cup of tea, Matsumoto Ryojun took a deep breath before speaking to the Commander, who was leaning forwards expectantly for a review on the headquarter's medical status.

"I'm afraid to say Kondo-san, that the Shinsengumi is in very bad condition. The place is overcrowded, holding more than a hundred and forty people, of which many are either critically ill or badly injured, to the extent they cannot even get up from bed themselves. With such a serious situation, I myself find it inhumane to turn down your request to treat them." The doctor gave a professional sigh, before continuing. "I will come over perhaps two to three times a week, but you cannot entirely depend on me. The Shinsengumi must make changes as well. There have to be more water points, and troops must be reminded to keep the area clean and free of diseases. Rooms with sufficient sunlight and ventilation must be given to the injured and the sick for them to be able to recover, and at least two to three fellowmen have to be assigned to look after their needs."

The Commander nodded fervently to every one of Matsumoto's sentence, listening eagerly to the well-given advice as he thanked the doctor continually for his help.

"Ah. And one more thing." This time, the intent gaze was directed to Susumu. "Yamazaki-san?"

"Yes sir?" The shinobi answered, meeting the doctor's gaze.

"Even if my disciples and I come around every few times a week, the numbers in the Shinsengumi are much too large for us alone to handle. Hence I will impart my skills to you, should there be a need for immediate medical treatment, you will be able to serve as an emergency doctor."

Matsumoto's words struck the Chief Inspector by surprise, his normally lazy eyes widening in disbelief. Susumu could not understand why he had suddenly been offered the responsibility of taking care of the medical needs of the Shinsengumi. Never in his wildest dreams had he imagined that he would end up saving lives, a doctor nonetheless. A shinobi – he was comfortable with the job. But a doctor, the idea was outrageous!

Instead, Kondo too agreed with Matsumoto, smacking his open palm with a fist. "That's a wonderful idea! Besides, Yamazaki's father too was a doctor back in the days, it certainly would be fitting for him."

"But.." Susumu finally croaked out, finding his voice. "He never taught me how to save lives," the shinobi thought back to his younger days with his father. "he wanted me to be a _predator_, to survive, and so he only taught me the ways of killing."

"True enough." The older man answered, tucking his hand into his clothes, he pulled out the kunai he had taken earlier. "I found this on your straw doll which you use for target practise. And looking at it, I immediately decided that you would be the one best suited for the job. It doesn't matter if we're doctors or predators. As long as you know where you want to inject your poison, which artery or which vein to hit, you take aim without a second thought. In times of emergency, such immediate actions without second thoughts are necessary as well. The fact that you understand the blood system of a human being well enough to know where to hit to kill them, also would mean that with excessive bleeding, you would know where and how to stop it."

Susumu felt a lump in his throat as the doctor's words sank into him. As much as he tried to disagree, the man's words made complete sense – and Susumu found himself begin to be more accepting of what was appearing to be his fate.

"Yamazaki-san," Matsumoto concluded, looking kindly at the young adult. " 'What are the ways of making an enemy die-' the one thought that must come before that, is 'What are the ways of allowing a man to live?', isn't it?"

The shinobi silently contemplated his words, before closing his eyes in resignation and bowing in respect, to his new master.

-

"Urgh.. Argh..." The groans coming from the enclosed room passed down the corridor, making every other man waiting in line feel even more nervous than before.

"Hnghh... Ahh.. AHH.." Tetsunosuke grit his teeth as the doctor's fingers pressed and probed against his body. The page twitched restlessly, struggling in the death grip that Susumu held him in, almost suspending him in mid-air.

"AHH... AHAHAHAHA I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! Stop! Please, please!" The redhead could contain himself no longer, bursting out in peals of uncontrollable laughter. "My stomach doesn't hurt any longer! You can stop now! It's ticklish!"

"You idiot.." Susumu muttered, as Matsumoto stopped his treatment on the young page.

"Hoho, such lively laughter- Very good! It shows you are in good health as young kids should be!" The bald-headed doctor smiled, cleaning his reading glasses.

"Kid? This page is already seventeen. Sensei, I doubt Tetsunosuke can ever fall ill. His stomach pains are probably due to his overeating these past few days." The shinobi concluded in a drone voice, ignoring Tetsunosuke's attempts to irritate his friend by pulling at his cheek.

"You called him sensei?" The page laughed at the older boy. "That's just not your demeanor Susumu! What happened to your- AHAHAHAHHAHAHA" Tetsunosuke didn't get a chance to complete his sentence before the Susumu attacked the still suspended page by tickling him in a ruthless manner.

"I shall write 'Tetsunosuke is a healthy baby'.." Matsumoto said aloud, scribbling on his doctor's notepad.

"Ah ah, Matsumoto-san," Tetsunosuke piped up, while putting on his uniform. "How long does it take to learn medicine like you?"

"Well it depends on the person I guess." the doctor answered, gesturing to another young man in the corner. "This student of mine completed his studies in a relatively short period of three years."

"THREE YEARS?" The rowdy page exclaimed, making a face at Susumu.

"Don't worry.." Matsumoto assured him, smiling encouragingly at his newest student. "I'm only teaching Yamazaki-san the most basic and important skills for emergency and battle. But anyhow, don't look down on him. Although he may not show it, Yamazaki-san is really a very enthusiastic learner with a love for what he does. In fact, he uses his sleep time to read up on more medical books on his own, without my instruction. At this rate, I'd say he'll be done in about a year."

Tetsunosuke looked up at the dark-haired teen, who's face seemed to turn a slight shade redder. "Hehe, Susumu, enthusiastic are you?" the page teased his friend, who shook his head slightly, trying to avoid the topic.

Nevertheless, on his way out, the redhead tugged at Susumu's sleeve, giving him a cheerful smile and a thumbs-up, which the shinobi turned away from although he discretely gave one in return.

"**NEXT!"**

"Fwahhhh! It's you again bear-sensei!" Sanosuke exclaimed, this time in a more friendly and excited fashion rather than his original hostility. In fact, the 10th unit captain seemed a little too eager to strip, showing off his fit body and proudly flaunting his scars – like an animal flashing it's danger signs.

Only the truth was that Harada Sanosuke, deep down inside, felt really _really_ afraid of doctors. The whole macho act, he deemed – seemed a suitable way of covering it all up though.

_Harada Sanosuke is a very healthy soldier_. Matsumoto wrote on his notepad, at the same time reading it out to Sanosuke. "For a man like you who has survived even seppuku, I'm sure the germs will not be of any harm." He said, assuring what he perceived to be in actual fact, a very nervous captain.

"You're absolutely right! I am the invincible man! Bwahahahha!" The taller soldier laughed with his hands on his hips and a mix of triumph and relief on his face.

"**NEXT!"**

"Nagakura-san, have you been lacking in sleep? Perhaps this has caused you to be so small-sized. You really must grow more." Shinpachi smiled sweetly like an innocent child as he listened to the doctor's words.

"I always have insomnia.." The 2nd unit captain sighed. "But lately, I guess I've been thinking of too many things."

"Eh? Won't having more to think about make you want to sleep even more? Just like Harada-san! You really should learn from him." Matsumoto chided, the small man – who currently looked a lot like a small puppy sitting on his table.

"Hahaha.. You may be right doctor.."

"**NEXT!"**

"Aye, well lately I've always been feeling fatigued, very tired. It's always the same. I'm just feeling weary all the time, and I can't seem to pick myself up.." Heisuke told of his condition, in the same tone that he had just expressed.

"On the physical aspect, there's completely nothing wrong with you Todou-san. But from what you've said, perhaps it's more of something based on the mental aspect?" Matsumoto frowned at the young captain before him, who's pale face and tired expression spoke volumes about his condition. "Perhaps, there's something on your mind that's bothering you?"

Heisuke looked up in surprise, having heard this man be the first to bring it up. None of the people around him, not even his close friends, had come forth outright to confront him with the fact that something was indeed bothering him.

The 8th unit captain opened his mouth to say something, then decidedly closed it again, realising that he had nothing much to say after all.

It seemed that not only physical scars changed people. Apparently emotional scars did the same.

"**NEXT!"**

Takara waited for the person before her to exit before she decided to enter. "Heisuke?"

The brunette walked out from the room, looking more dejected than usual. "Are you okay?" Takara quickly approached him, wondering what could have happened. However, when he saw her approach, Heisuke's facial expression changed quickly to a bright grin.

"Takara-san!" He said, a little more cheerful than he should have been- Takara thought to herself. " It's your turn isn't it? You want me to follow you in? It's less scary when you go with a friend.."

"Or two!" followed by an "Or three!" as both Shinpachi and Sanosuke emerged from around a corner, giving innocent smiles.

For a moment, Takara was slightly overwhelmed with her friend's sudden kindness. Admittedly she _was _kind of afraid of her check up. "Thanks guys," she replied, considering if she really should accept their offer to follow her in. "But I don't think it'll be allowed fo-"

Then it hit her. The reason behind their sudden outburst of consideration. After all, every soldier was supposed to take of their top for the check-up weren't they? Takara's expression took a complete turn and changed to a dark glare instead, as she forgot all sense of fear and walked into the room, slamming the door shut behind her.

Then waiting a few seconds, she opened it again, finding their three faces where she had expected them to be – at the door, waiting to slide a gap open for them to peek in. "Don't even think about it." She muttered at their guilty faces before slamming the door shut again. "Damn perverts."

"Ah Niigata-san," Matsumoto greeted her warmly, "I expect you understand the usual procedures? Unfortunately for you being the only girl in the Shinsengumi, special arrangements cannot be made just for you. However I assure you that as a doctor I am very used to this – and there really is no reason for you to feel uncomfortable."

His words radiated a sort of professionalism about him, and Takara felt greatly comforted. Until she saw Susumu standing in one of the corners of the room.

"Hold it hold it!" She burst out, halfway in the midst of pulling her uniform top down. "What is THAT guy doing here? There's no way he's going to be allowed to witness everything!"

Susumu let out an exasperated sigh, "I _am_ in the midst of undergoing training you know. Come on – stop being so paranoid." The shinobi walked towards the furious girl who defensively clutched on to her clothes and shooting him death glares.

"Besides," he continued, "it's not like I haven't seen it all before."

Minutes later, the physical part of the check-up was finished. Takara was back in her own uniform, her face still flushed slightly. Susumu however, had an additional red imprint across his left cheek, which he was unable to evade. Matsumoto chose not to further question the roots of the comical scenario, but proceeded on with the check-up nonetheless.

Takara was in the midst of the bald man's questions, most of it relatively easy to answer, until one came as "Have you had any sexual intercourse with any of the men?"

"WHAT?" The 4th unit captain had literally leapt out of her place, her face now crimson and her arms waving frantically in embarrassment. "What kind of a question is that?"

Matsumoto however, calmly replied in the same tone while trying to make her relax. "I apologise Niigata-san, but see you being the only female in a sea of men, this is quite an important question – especially to your own health."

Wishing a hole would appear and swallow her up, Takara felt herself shrinking in her seat. She threw Susumu a dirty sideways glance, and he merely shrugged as if to say _"Just answer the question honestly" _

This was the one of the worst times of her life.

"**NEXT!"**

"Ahhhh.." Okita's voice echoed through the room, as he opened his mouth as wide as he could for Matsumoto to look into. The 1st unit captain did it in a sing-song voice, going from high to low, and low to high again, to his own amusement as the doctor inspected his throat.

When it was finally done, Okita slid his uniform back on and picked Saizou up into his arms, the pig having become rather impatient having waited for quite a long while for his master to finish his check-up.

"Do you always feel very tired, Okita-san?" Matsumoto questioned the young man, looking at his own notepad through his reading glass, while aimlessly tugging at his own beard.

"Yes doctor-san! And sometimes I tend to get coughs which turn out pretty serious. But I don't feel like coughing now so it's alright I guess." Okita answered in a carefree manner, his usual smile still on his face.

The older man's eyes darted up to the violet-haired lad before him, a frown creasing upon his forehead at the sound of the word 'coughs'. He said nothing, but picked up his doctor's pad and scribbled something on it, then placing it face down again on the table. Susumu watched from the side, his shinobi instincts immediately picking out the sudden change in his sensei's expression and mood.

It wasn't something good.

"Well if it's nothing serious then it shouldn't be a problem." Matsumoto's voice broke the tense silence. "I've issued you three types of medicines which should help. Get back to me with your condition after you've used the medicine alright?"

"No problem!" Came the obedient, infantile reply.

"Well," the doctor said to Okita as he walked him out of the room. "the only people left are the Hijikata, Itou, and Kondo-san. Would you mind going through the trouble to call them down?

"Ah sure!"

Matsumoto watched Okita turn his back and prepare to walk off, but instead the young man hesitated in his place. "Matsumoto-san," the captain's usually cheerful voice dropped a volume so that it became a soft, scratchy whisper. "It must be very difficult to be a doctor, isn't it?"

Stunned, it took him a while to reply to violet-haired man. "It's alright I guess."

"Oh?" The 1st unit captain resumed his famous smile, and turned to walk off.

Matsumoto watched his retreating figure sadly, his heart feeling more constricted than before. To know things that other didn't, to have to know what fate patients were going to suffer – and to have to erase _hope_ with medical facts.

_Indeed,_ he thought to himself, _it sure was difficult to be a doctor._


	23. Extra Additional Chapter, Shadows

_We are,_

_Always hiding in the shadows._

_Sometimes,_

_There are places that sunlight will never reach._

_

* * *

_

_[Post-Ikedaya, Pre-Keisuke's death]_

"Go to town with me Susumu."

He didn't budge at all. The scroll remained unwound, lying in front of him as his eyes darted from top to bottom, right to left. His back was straight – as always – fair fingers clutching the wooden ends that held the parchment taut. 'Fair' was of course, a pleasant way of putting it. If I wanted to be mean I'd say he was pale instead. What this ninja seriously needed, was some –

"sun." The last of my thoughts came out verbally. Not as gentle as I hoped, instead they tumbled out clumsily like the radishes Ayumu used to empty from her shopping basket when she returned from the market.

"You know, what you really need is a tan. And look at today's weather – it's perfect. PLUS Hijikata-san gave us a day off. I mean, is this a sign or what?" I stepped into his dim room, closing the shoji door behind me. Shutting out the sunlight made the room more gloomy that it already was.

He finally looked up at me. "Takara," Susumu started, sighing more than talking, "I can't just walk around town like that. I don't know why you even ask when you already know I won't go."

"But why can't you!"

"I'm a shinobi?"

"And I'm a samurai. Point being?"

"It's part of my job to keep my identity a secret – you **know **that. It's called going _undercover _for a reason.

"But it's my day off! I want to eat dango." I could hear my own voice, and it sounded like some stubborn kid whining to his parent, stomping his foot on the ground and raising a cloud of dust in the middle of a busy street. Not the way I meant it to sound, at all.

"Oh sure, of course! Why not just walk around parading my face to everyone right? All for one stick of dango." His tone was sarcastic, strong arms crossed around his chest by now and a scowl crept upon his originally serene face. I have to say that I'm glad from the cold person he was, he was now learning what emotions were.

But this wasn't one of the times to feel happy for his personal development. I hated the scowl on his face. It made him feel so far away from me, just when I thought I was one of the only people to understand him. I wished he would uncross those arms, because they were like some barrier that prevented me from being close to him. Like a sign that said 'stay away', 'stay out', like how he used to be when I didn't know him.

I hated it.

I sometimes think that I'm overreacting over these small gestures, perhaps being too sensitive to his every move, every position. Probably things that Susumu himself isn't conscious about – yet that manage to peeve me or make me feel sad. I'm not possessive really. If he ever dated another woman, (of course he wouldn't – would he?) I wouldn't go crazy or kill myself. I don't cling to him every little minute either. We give each other space, lots of it, even if sometimes that is only because of our jobs, as part of the Shinsengumi.

Yet now, I felt frustration inside of me, rising up my throat and forcing hot tears out the corner of my eyes. Just because some stupid ninja, refused to go to town with me, (on an off day I might add). I swallowed and blinked, but didn't say a word. What if my voice came out as a croak? Then I'd really be like an immature kid throwing his tantrum.

_Glare_. I thought to myself, forcing my eyes towards his in an attempt to what I do best. _Glare at him since you can't say a goddamn thing_.

He diverted his eyes, no evidence of discomfort, and picked up his scroll again to begin his reading. "Honestly, if you want dango just go ask Okita. He'd be more than happy to go with you."

It isn't the dango. I'm not upset because I can't get dango. There's something more, and it hurts.

I can't explain it but it's precisely these little moments that are the most precious to me. Like the holes in a brick wall that the sunlight never passes through, but you peek through to see what's on the other side, or the dark air pockets in an underground cavern filled with water. These fleeting moments in time that are never out in the open for everyone to see – but only for the eyes of the beholder who stares hard enough.

Every other time we're holding weapons, we're covered in blood, or we're running – perhaps running from ourselves. We hold our heads high as we patrol, our headbands and blue haoris reflected in the sunlight, with our warrior pride. For Susumu he will have his kunai between his fingers, his face is covered by his dark sash – he is shrouded by darkness. We live our lives like this – in the shadows of a pride called 'Shinsengumi'. So it is these pockets of air that I gasp, every split second of it and every movement that I treasure - when Susumu and I are together, and I see him not as a shinobi but the person that I loved.

When our lives actually seem _normal_.

I got up, moved towards him and swiped the scroll out of his hands. It flew and hit the wall, clattering and dropping in a crumpled heap on the ground. It must have been important, because Susumu reacted immediately – standing up and grabbing me by my wrist. And he was glaring, hard. I must have been about to hit him in the face by some instinct too – I couldn't really tell – but that was probably the case from how he was gripping me so tightly by the wrist.

"What the hell is wrong with you Takara." Susumu hissed, moving his face down to mine. "You come storming in here throwing a tantrum when I'm in the midst of reading something important –"

"More important than me?" I countered without thinking.

"Oh god seriously Takara, how could you be so fucking selfish?" he raises his voice, making me flinch.

I don't know what to say. I realize how stupid the whole conversation must have sounded, if not only on my part at least. I don't know why I'm angry, or why I feel like I've been wronged. The better half of me knows that everything is my fault and that I should apologise and let this all be a thing of the past.

The worse part of me takes over.

I got angrier, and shouted back at him. I said a lot of things, most of them being profanities. There were parts of my rant that were about the day-off, workaholism and I probably threw in the past mistakes that he made just to raise the guilt factor. I half-explained, half-yelled at how it was obviously not just about dango. Eventually I was in a sorry state, pitifully grasping the collar of his yukata with both fists with tears streaming down my cheeks.

"You're right. I'm fucking selfish to want us to go out normally like every other couple, to just spend time together." My entire outrage ended with that sentence, which although was supposed to sound angry, came out sounding like a plea to him.

I didn't want to see how he reacted to my pathetic statement, so I kissed him. It wasn't gentle like how we normally kissed. There was a flurry, and I had pressed my lips against his. This time it was rough, needy, and passionate – all in one.

I suppose it appears somewhat desperate for a girl to kiss a guy, since most of the time it has to be the other way around. But now was not the time for me to care, I _wanted_ him.

Even if he was stunned, Susumu gets over it quickly. Instead he responds by grabbing my head and pressing me even closer. There is just something inside the both of us that has been pent up for so long, and finds its way out through our lips, through to each other. It runs down my tongue, further down and flows through my veins, spreading throughout my entire body.

It spreads just like how Susumu's hands roam around my body, no longer confined to my head. His fingers run down my back, neither gently nor smoothly, but in a rushed manner as if they're making up for lost time. His hands linger on my waist for a while, before they move down to my legs, running up and down and soon under the yukata to rest on my thighs. He grips them, holding my body tight against his until I feel like I am crushed against him, trying to merge into his body.

In the same way my hands alternate between holding his face, and to the back of his head, where my fingers are tangled in his dark hair – or vice versa. Eventually they drift down to his broad shoulders, feeling his tense muscles and tracing the scars on his skin. I grip his back tight, feeling his sharp shoulder blades, and each and every contour formed by his clenched back muscles.

The kiss lasts for a long time, passionate, with hands roaming. The feeling that is spreading throughout both our bodies feels electrifying, oddly, somewhat cold. It is not like the sweet summer love couples share, under the shade of a tree on a hot day. There is no warmth from this feeling, like the warmth of daylight on closed eyelids – lying hand in hand together in an open field. It is not like the joy couples feel, when sitting under an umbrella at a sweet shop, sharing dango and cleaning the white powder off each other's cheek.

This feeling is dark. It is love coated in a lust, the kind under the shadows cast by the moonlight in a back alley. The kind that no one knows of, or ever will. Passion that is shared in the secrecy of night, a kind of love that will never be fortunate enough to be seen by other people, for them to look at and smile, to comment on how sweet both look together.

Susumu's lips leave mine, and instead traces a trail to the ear, then the jaw, and finally down to my neck. One of his hands eases the top of the yukata open, and he runs a finger down the center of my chest teasingly.

Perhaps it is this kind of darkness that suits us best. We are always hiding in the shadows, our true selves never illuminated by the sunlight. In the day I patrol the streets, as a young man – the fourth unit captain and his squad. Calloused hands from holding a sword, looked upon by others with eyes of both respect and fear. They see a demon, a man shaped by the blood of those he has killed and his comrades that have been killed.

I see the women holding colourful umbrellas, walking lightly on their sandals in their kimonos. They bow their heads slightly as I walk past, covering their mouths with their sleeves, demurely. I see the daughters of the rich nobles, same age as I am, surrounded by an air of beauty and grace. They are like a distorted reflection of me, of what I could and should be. Like the reflection of the moon in the pond, distorted by ripples when someone throws a pebble in.

Susumu too, steps out in the day only when he is undercover, made up, dolled – as a woman, looking like a split-image of his sister. The womanly smile he has to give is not one of happiness. There is a dark and murderous intent beneath his smile, beneath the lipstick. There are kunai, some covered with poison, beneath the bright kimono that he dons.

In the sunlight there is a beautiful woman, charming the men who have the information. In the shadows there is Yamazaki Susumu, a shinobi devoted to the Shinsengumi, disgusted with the men he has to obtain information from – ready to slit their throats.

Both of us are never the person that we truly are, when we walk on the streets in the day.

Neither is there such a thing as love in the Shinsengumi. We hold hands, kiss, and touch only under the cover of darkness – only when there is no one but us in the world at that point of time. At every other time there are fleeting glances passed between us, but these disappear quickly, like steam that disappears as it rises into the air.

Our moments shared are those that no sunlight can reach. It is in the dead of the night, and this kills me. Love never happens in the day, when everything is alive. How do we know that this love is alive, and not dead like the nights?

The top of Susumu's own yukata has been slid off his shoulders by me, and the garment hangs loosely around the sash on his waist. My hands roam around his chest, down to his waist, taking in every inch that I feel from the palm of my hands.

I was wrong.

We can never be a normal couple, spending time together and holding hands as we walk down the street. We will never feel the same sweet warmth of love that other couples do – the birds chirping, the flowers blooming, the river glistening with sunlight.

Instead, the feeling we have is fleeting, recurring only in the silence of the night, disappearing when the sun rises. It fades quickly like the shadows, the shadows that we live our lives in – and will never see light.

This feeling we have may be dark and cold.

But it is still love.


End file.
